Pizza bread

September 19, 2018

I’m still slightly sick from yesterday and didn’t want to eat anything I ate yesterday. This pizza bread is made from stuff we have available.

Canned tomatoes (the garden ones are almost gone and I’m leaving the last two for dad), swiss cheese, ancient dry pepperoni of unknown age which for all I know could’ve been sitting in the fridge for years, which you have to slice yourself; ripped up parsley, chives from the neighbor’s house that had to be used up, freshly cut garlic, red onions, red pepper, feta cheese, sea salt, normal bread slices, cooked in toaster oven because the toaster oven is from like 1970 and I love it. Let’s hope nothing in here gives me salmonella today.

I scrolled out too high on the map and accidentally went into google space view

September 19, 2018

I didn’t know that you would just transition from google earth view to google space view by just zooming out really far. I had heard of people talking about google maps of other planets, but I figured you would have to go deliberately seeking them. Nope, just use a normal google map and then scroll out really far and it will give you the option of going to other planets. That’s the first time I did that.

I had been doing google street view on faraway places like Mongolia and northern Russia. I’m interested in the most isolated places. I like their blue skies. It’s a good place to hide a breakaway civilization if you aren’t rich enough to use the military as your security guard around the entrance to your underground base. That was something I found out on one of the Cosmic Disclosures not long ago, that Emery Smith talked about – the military guards the entrances to the underground bases, but the military actually has no connection with and no knowledge about what’s going on down in there. So, like, you could ask the random military guard guy who’s standing by the gate what’s going on down there, and he doesn’t know, he’s just some clueless peon. So you have this big enclosed area inside a military base, and somewhere on that base there’s an entrance to the
underground base, which is a corporate owned black project that nobody knows about. The military is just your hired help.

If you can’t afford to just use a military base as your guard, then, you have to put the entrance to your breakaway civilization up in an isolated area, like in the mountains in Central America. Maybe I’ll try looking down into volcanoes with the satellite map.

I enjoy topographical maps and going on a hike and following the mountains on the topographical map. You usually have to pay money to buy a topographical map. I don’t know of a website that offers a topographical map service for free that covers the whole planet and behaves like google maps, where you would be able to zoom in and interact with the map. Topographical maps are non-interactive, and you can only get it at one particular height or range or whatever, and that’s all you get. Topographical maps are really useful for understanding exactly what’s going on on the landscape, more than satellite images are. They can’t tell you what’s underground though. A set of cave maps would also be handy to have, but this is
surprisingly very difficult to find from a google search. Google does not want us to know about the existence of maps that show all the caves and tunnels on earth.

Mercury didn’t have anything interesting on it, just craters. I couldn’t do a street view and look at photos on Mercury. Maybe a couple years from now I’ll be able to. I’ll be patient. I’m waiting, google.

Ibuprofen and fertility; I don’t like some alternative painkillers for cramps

September 19, 2018

I read something interesting on Mercola today. The article said that NSAIDs like ibuprofen can reduce fertility. You take them at the beginning of your period, and they might possibly have effects that last longer afterwards, because the drug reduces prostaglandin production, which prevents a baby from implanting. The article didn’t explicitly say that – it said it might cause problems if you took it at the beginning of the pregnancy. I’m extrapolating to say that it might reduce fertility over a longer period of time than that, for several days, from the time from the beginning of your period (the cramps, when you take the ibuprofen) to the time when you ovulate.

I *have* done a couple of tests over the years of what happens when I go through my period without using any ibuprofen. I’ve always gotten cramps badly. This may indicate a deformed uterus or retrograde uterus, one of the many things that probably happen less frequently in healthy cultures like Weston Price studied. However, people have known about plants that are used to treat cramps for a long time, too, and that would have been known about in the primitive cultures, so they might have sometimes had cramps too. I don’t know. I only know that I was told that some women have cramps, and some women don’t, and I’m one of the ones that do.

I did the experiment a few times, but not very frequently. I was able to do it totally without any painkiller at all. I did not use a substitute painkiller, such as something herbal. So, I’ve never tried doing it with an herbal alternative. ‘Cranberry’ comes from ‘cramp bark’ if I understand correctly, but that might not be right. I thought the words were associated. I once tested a very small dose of red raspberry leaf pills, and it gave me a strange and horrible sensation that all of the organs, all of the ligaments, inside my abdomen, were loosening up so that all the organs were drooping and slipping downwards and falling down.

That was one of the correlating events during the time when I suddenly got a fat belly that never went away again, during the summer of 2016, when I had a flat belly one month, and all of a sudden had a fat belly the next month that never got better. It happened over the span of one month. During that time, I also kissed a fat guy, possibly ingesting fat-causing bacteria into my digestive system, so obesity might be a contagious disease caused by bacteria or viruses. I also drank my one and only cup of alcohol in my entire life – I’d had extremely small sips before, but this was the largest cup of alcohol I had ever drunk, and it was by accident, as a gift from my coworkers at Kaarma who didn’t speak English and who were sometimes giving me drinks. I also began using olive leaf pills somewhere around that time period, and olive leaf pills cause swelling, but so does olive oil, and I had eaten olive oil before and did not suddenly get an irreversibly fat belly. So the red raspberry leaf pills were only one of several correlations that occurred during the time period when I suddenly became irreversibly fat over a one-month time period and never got a flat belly ever again. Something was permanently changed by one or several of these factors.

So, because of the sensations of loosening ligaments inside my abdomen, which might possibly cause the belly to sag, I am suspicious of red raspberry leaf pills as a treatment for menstrual cramping. The loosening ligaments might be irreversible. I don’t know. It’s only a theory because I can’t explain why I had a perfectly flat belly one month, then suddenly had an irreversibly fat belly the next month which never went back to the way it had been. Something happened. It happened over an extremely short period of time. I can only find correlations.

So I would prefer to use no drugs at all, not even herbal ones. But I’m aware there are herbal ones available. I would be curious to try ‘cramp bark.’ I would have to research it. Researching alternatives to the ibuprofen that I’ve always used is similar to researching alternatives to the shampoo and conditioners I’ve always used: it really needs to be done, but it is easy to postpone because it doesn’t seem urgent. I would need a lot of external pressure and
encouragement: life coaches and people surrounding me with peer pressure telling me that I have to live a cleaner lifestyle.

So, when I did the tests of cramping without any painkiller at all, I would have to take the day off work. I’m totally opposed to the workplace schedule and workplace culture that requires women to work while menstruating. I believe people should always have stand-ins, backups, or whatever the word is for the people in a play who will play your role if you’re not there. The workplace should be designed that way. People should not be unique and irreplaceable in the workplace in such a way that they can’t take time off for sickness or for any reason they feel like.

I was able to get through the cramping, which lasted several hours, by getting into positions such as kneeling or squatting, and then trembling and shaking in a way like a convulsion, which would have been frightening to watch if anybody had been there watching, because they wouldn’t understand that I was entering an altered state of consciousness to cope with the pain, by shaking my body. So it looks like I’m having a convulsion, but I’m perfectly conscious and in control the whole time, so that, for instance, if somebody knocked on the door at that moment, I would be able to get up and interact with them in a normal way, albeit I would make it clear that I was in pain or sick and didn’t want to talk to them for very long. I had to do this for several hours, rocking and shaking, and also vomiting. I don’t like to vomit, but it happens if I cramp without painkiller: I will vomit or at least retch at some point in the process. The vomiting releases an endorphin which will partially ease the pain.

So I know I would also be able to give birth without painkillers or alternative painkillers. But now, this article points out that ibuprofen affects fertility. I will be aware of that.

It also causes hearing loss. Taking aspirin every day causes hearing loss. Salicylate poisoning causes ringing in the ears, which happens when I eat watermelon – I’m a Feingold Diet kid. Aspirin and ibuprofen both cause hearing loss. Alternatives such as willow bark will do the same, as it also is salicylate, and salicylates as such, even natural ones in fruits and vegetables, cause hearing loss, perhaps temporary, in salicylate sensitive people. Salicylate sensitive people are more vulnerable to hearing loss overall, all the time.

People are buying “reborn babies” made of silicone and taking them out in public to get reactions

September 19, 2018

I did not know this was a thing. I got this video recommended on youtube probably because earlier I had clicked like on a video about an abortion doctor who went to trial several years ago.

My reaction to the fake babies thing is, kind of shocked and disgusted. Maybe these women are infertile? I’ve done some reading about how the hormones given to pregnant women to "prevent miscarriage" are causing babies to be born transgender and often with severe deformities that cause infertility. So there are more and more infertile people nowadays, and the depopulation program loves that.

So there are videos of women carrying fake silicone babies called "reborn babies" and seeing people’s reactions on the street. My reaction is, horror. It looks like a stiff dead unmoving baby body. I also feel like they’re lying and tricking people.

The video about the abortion doctor: I forget his name, but if I understand correctly there will soon be a documentary about him in the next few months. This happened a few years ago so maybe I misunderstood and the documentary was already out.

Anyway, the only thing I don’t understand is, why did they pick on this particular doctor, when pretty much all abortions are doing the same thing, just maybe sometimes with less of a joking attitude about it ("That baby was so big I could’ve walked it to the bus stop!" he said). This guy became kind of a scapegoat: they need to emphasize that this represents all abortions and all clinics, just maybe not so shamelessly or brazenly or with such attitude.

Also, I don’t know whether they explain that this isn’t just an isolated lunatic, but a system, where people pay huge amounts of money to buy baby body parts.

I do have a gray area where killing is okay: I eat meat, and I have reasons why. So I can’t come at this from an absolutely anti-killing approach. I only know that I’m mostly anti-abortion for reasons that are hard to justify, partly based on a lot of beliefs from books that influenced me, like "The Ultimate Resource," which explained how people are valuable for the economy and how a decreasing population causes economic problems. I also have an instinctive revulsion to killing babies, but again it’s hard to explain.

I’ve wondered if I would ever abort, but, pff, it’s never been necessary based on the tiny number of times I’ve had ejaculatory unprotected sex and had a brief pregnancy that passed away on its own within a week or two. I’ve never had to decide what to do with a baby who I hated because it was the child of a rapist. I might not be completely infertile, but, especially now at age almost-44 it’s very hard to get me pregnant. So I might never have to decide to kill a baby that doesn’t want to die and is doing just fine surviving inside me, growing bigger and getting stronger month by month.

It’s hard for me to imagine. Did you just not know the baby was gonna live that long without miscarrying on its own? Did you not know you were pregnant because you’re so completely oblivious to your own physical state that it wasn’t obvious until you were seven months along?

My instinctive response to my own pregnancy (the one that lasted a week) was that this baby was precious and wonderful and I could feel it changing my body immediately the moment the semen got into my womb. Semen triggers a flood of hormones when it gets into the uterus, and I felt that immediately. I now have "microchimeras" stored away in my memory somewhere of this person’s DNA. My body thinks that storing and keeping this DNA forever is important to do for some reason.

But if I got pregnant from a man I loathed, I can imagine how it might feel emotionally to hate the baby, who might have a personality similar to the rapist. Do you automatically bond with this baby anyhow? Many people obviously don’t.

I had a miscarriage after one week, and then got my period late, but even though it only lived for a few days, I went into post…. I’m forgetting the word. Postpartum depression. I was extremely depressed and it was totally hormonal. I was ready to leave town. I seriously decided I was going to relocate out of State College once and for all, and that decision was made under the influence of postpartum depression. I have never been that depressed before. People don’t know and wouldn’t believe that merely growing a baby for a couple days and then miscarrying it will throw you into severe postpartum depression.

I say all that because of people regretting abortions. They go into postpartum depression. This happens even if they didn’t bond with the baby they hated.

Even when you don’t abort, and don’t miscarry, and give birth in a healthy way at home without doctors, drugs, or surgery, you still get postpartum depression. It may be related to poor nutrition: I don’t know. Not everyone gets it that badly.

I also want to do a Long Hair Project and have been thinking about the practical realities of how exactly this project would be done. I’m guessing that as soon as I go back to the trailer in PA, I will become unable to think about this project.

Yesterday was ruined by salmonella and I got nothing done

September 19, 2018

I thought it would be okay to eat a soft boiled egg with a runny yolk, because I eat fried eggs with runny yolks all the time. But my theory is, frying exposes most of the egg to a higher temperature, and maybe the salmonella is in the mucus, not the yolk. Boiling water isn’t hot enough, maybe, and it’s cooking the whites at a lower temperature than frying. A fried egg is directly touching hot metal over its surface area. The hot metal is at a higher temperature than boiling water. Boiling water stays at the same temperature while it’s boiling.

So I dumped the remaining egg salad I had made for a sandwich.

Dad and I went for a walk yesterday. I didn’t want to walk the whole time, so I only walked the first circle with him – he circles the same route twice. It’s a very good thing I didn’t walk around a second time, because shortly after I got inside I had urgent immediate right-now explosive diarrhea. I had that diarrhea several more times. Today I feel somewhat better, but still had another episode after eating breakfast, which must have triggered my intestines to start moving again.

I told Dad about it, and he said I might have gotten the one contaminated egg in 50,000. Lol! Worldview! You meant to say that 1/50,000 *isn’t* contaminated with salmonella! He doesn’t know about the unthinkable filth of factory farms. He still believes that the faraway, invisible corporations that produce our food are trustworthy and safe and have our best interests in mind.

Yeah, I was right

September 18, 2018

The movie forced the two ESFPs together, and then the crying lady who seemed like the INTP got back together with her boyfriend who also seemed like an INTP! So close yet so far! They were surrounded by many perfectly good INTPs and the ENTJ (probably???) boss lady at the magazine, but no, force those two ESFPs together! It’ll work somehow!

Two ESFPs battling each other

September 18, 2018

We’re watching "How to lose a guy in 10 days." Gamma quadra, two ESFPs. I know this won’t happen, but I wish he would fall in love with the original crying lady who started it all, the one who pretended to be their therapist. She’s probably his dual. The two ESFPs should become sincere friends but shouldn’t try to be in love. Yet, this movie is going to try to force them to be together. She became sincere when she went to his family’s house and met the others, some of whom were duals and also sincere ESFPs who said he doesn’t bring girls home all the time.

I had a dream/vision that China was switching to English as the official language

September 18, 2018

So I dreamed China was switching to English as its official written and spoken language, to reduce the barrier that separates it from us.

I learned a little bit about this sort of thing from reading Rick D’s articles years ago. A lot of countries are speaking English more and giving up their native languages. That is a problem for someone whose job is as a translator and who doesn’t want to speak English, by choice.

I think this dream image was inspired by watching "Arrival" last night, which is about learning the language of aliens. If TVTropes had anything to say about this, they would have said "Our aliens are different." They deliberately made them as alien as possible. This goes against what Corey Goode and many others have described, which is that humanoid aliens are actually very common and widespread, and they are interacting with us more often than totally alien aliens. The "Our aliens are different" or "our mermaids are different," etc trope is probably something I would try to do too if I were making a fiction story about aliens. I wouldn’t be good at it though, but I would think of alien whales evolving underwater in a methane sea on the moons of Saturn or something (I’m not getting the location right, but somebody claimed there might be something like that). Totally alien.

In the movie the military leader from China appears to her in a vision and says that she changed his mind about attacking the aliens. It was a very important moment. It was "Momentous." He spoke perfectly clear English with very little accent and was perfectly understandable.

In the dream I was having (it came from them and it wasn’t really a dream), China decided that Mandarin was an obstacle to its progress in the world, mostly because of the writing system, so they would transition by using pinyin written in the English alphabet. I had looked into this, wondering how to type Chinese characters. There are special keyboards, some designed differently, which are faster or slower at typing them. One special keyboard could be operated smoothly at a high rate of speed. It categorized the type of strokes in each character, and you choose what stroke to make from each group. So you build a character by adding strokes. Chinese characters are not random. They have patterns. Somebody observed the recurring patterns of the characters and made keyboards based on that.

In "Arrival," the aliens drew complex, detailed circles which were hard to draw and hard to recognize and hard to translate. In some ways it was analogous to Chinese.

But if you can recognize a whole word sound as representing some particular idea, all you would have to do is, starting very young, also associate the whole word image with that sound and meaning. I see whole word images in English, even though they are able to be broken down into letters.

I was in an absolutely horrible mood yesterday, like classic menstrual period symptoms except much much worse than usual.

I see the shapes of English words, like "this part of the word is tall, and this part is short." So it’s like lines on a graph reaching up to some number. It’s like reading a word on the graph of the stock market fluctuations. That’s how I know it’s misspelled. The shape looks funny.

When "they" are using autofill in my brain, on a very bad day if I’m having brain problems or had ministrokes and can’t remember words and am having aphasia, they always just try to find a word by indexing the first letter instead of looking for the shape of a word. So they try to help me recall the word by going through the alphabet. When they’re being especially destructive they will persistently autofill the wrong word every time I try to recall a word, but this is only on really bad days. It doesn’t happen all the time. Autofill based on the first letter of a word is the wrong way to recall a word. You recall words by the whole word shape, the graph of the sizes of letters as they are short and tall, or below the baseline like p and q.

Chinese people, anyone who uses a tonal language, have a larger number of musicians with perfect pitch. Perfect pitch and tonal language are connected. In "Arrival," the alien language was connected with nonlinear perception of time. The whole movie was written with scenes in a nonlinear sequence, which you can only gradually understand.

Dad and I both desperately need life coaches

September 18, 2018

I have to get out of this house. I had several projects I wanted to do, but the only one I will get done is packing up dishes for my cousin. Massive changes need to be made to our lives. Dad is stagnant and I’m getting stuck here and can’t get out. I have to get to PA before October so I can pay my rent. The days are getting shorter and colder. This is urgent. The vivarin isn’t working and the cold brewed coffee isn’t strong enough, and I don’t use tobacco and won’t start. When I was attempting to grow tobacco plants and got contaminated with tobacco years ago, I did notice that tobacco contamination helped me do work.

But long ago I read self-help books before I started getting attacked by “them” every time I tried to use a self-help book. I don’t want to use drugs of any kind whatsoever to try to help me achieve goals. I want to use people who are good at coaching others to achieve goals. I’m suffering an extreme and crippling loss of motivation, and helplessness caused by my lack of control over how things are done around here and my inability to do projects while I’m at this house. Bad nutrition and various chemicals are making it worse. I have to get out of this house. I have to abandon three projects I wanted to do here, actually four, maybe five. I will only do the one of packing up dishes. I wanted to collect flowerpots, collect baskets and bring them with me, collect some native wildflowers, get pawpaws which are probably ripe now, and take down the fence in the backyard which has gotten stuck in the tree bark it’s attached to. I won’t be able to do a single one of those things. I also have to fix the truck.

I will have to go back to earning money when I get home to PA. I hate my job at Minit Mart so I will have to find another job first. I didn’t get to go to school but I’m using up my saved money now because not a single thing went the way I wanted it to go these last few months. A life coach is needed to talk to me over and over again, several times a week, to talk about how I give up after the slightest obstacle, to overcome the problems “they” cause by distracting me every time I try to think or plan. I have to overcome the handicap of chronic fatigue syndrome, chemical sensitivity, and nonstop unavoidable psychotronic weapon attacks.

MeWe fail: it’s only an app, and not a mobile page

September 17, 2018

I tried it on my laptop, which was fine. But I tried to go to the page on my phone, and it says "download the app." There is no way to login and use a mobile page. I should try "show desktop page" and see if it let’s me – I’ll try that next. I don’t want apps because MY PHONE HAS NO SPACE LEFT BECAUSE ALL THE GOOGLE APPS CANNOT BE UNINSTALLED. I cannot fit even one more single app on my phone without removing the, literally, one or two total apps that are optional that I’ve downloaded and installed myself by choice. The google apps which cannot be uninstalled take up every single inch of space leaving me one or two bits left for an app that I choose to download.

Hating google is the next big hurdle I have to overcome. I want a search engine, and don’t tell me to use duckduckgo. I already used that for a while. I like google because it has cached versions of pages that aren’t working. Duckduckgo doesn’t. I want Old Altavista back.

My initial reactions to the user interface, before I forget and get used to it: spinning circles of death, and meaningless symbols, but I like it that they have suggestions for what you might post about, such as ‘what you’re eating’

September 17, 2018

2:23 PM 9/17/2018

I joined mewe, I’m on the page, and now I’m eating an egg salad sandwich for lunch, so I won’t be quite as grouchy and quite as hungry-hangry as I was before. I’m still gonna be a little bit grouchy.

What do I dislike so far?

I saw a spinning circle of death when I first loaded the page. I think it might have been on the chat. There should be zero spinning circles of death, ever, even for a second. I don’t want to hear that it can’t be done. Even if you have to put some kind of progress indicator, don’t use a spinning circle. I *hate* the spinning circles. You can have a progress bar that updates itself so that the remaining progress might be a different order of magnitude than it was originally because the original estimated time has been changed.

Sure, you thought you had 20% remaining and that this remaining 20% would be loaded at the same rate of speed as the original 80%, only to find that the remaining 20% takes fifteen minutes to load. Sure, that’s fine, I still want to see a progress bar, not a spinning circle of death. The spinning circle of death just tells you ‘something is going on and we’re waiting for a completely, totally unknown length of time, and we have absolutely no clue whatsoever about where we are in the progress being done.’ I hate that. It didn’t used to be that way.

I enjoy watching progress occur. Watching progress is a pleasurable experience. In the old days, you could defragment the hard drive on the computer, and watch the computer move all these tiny little boxes around from place to place, organizing them. You knew how much had been done, and you knew how much needed to be done, and it was fun to watch.

What do I like so far on mewe? I like it that, on the right side of the page, they tell you to add what you’re eating, drinking, reading, listening to, watching, or…. a thunderstorm cloud? a cartoon thought bubble? Oh, a speech bubble, which means ‘who you’re quoting from.’ And this brings me to something I hate: SYMBOLS. I HATE MEANINGLESS SYMBOLS. I hate icons. I want words back. I want to see an actual word, written with actual alphabetic letters, which is visible immediately when you look at it, so that you don’t have to hover the mouse over it to make the description pop up. I *hate* hovering the mouse over a totally meaningless icon to figure out what the hell it’s telling me to do.

I saw something funny, maybe on twitter, the other day – yeah, it was twitter. A lady told her husband that there was a funny little picture lighting up on the car’s dashboard, but it didn’t say what it was. It was some oblong thing. ‘The engine?’ he said. ‘It looks like a submarine.’ ‘Why would there be a submarine warning?’ ‘I was wondering that too. We totally understand each other!’

I hate submarine warnings on my car’s dashboard. I hate blue storm clouds telling me that I’m supposed to quote someone. I hate facebook’s weird little thing that looks like two animals having sex with a red sunset behind them, which I think means ‘switch profiles’ or something. I don’t even want to see triangles pointing left and right, and rectangles, to mean ‘play, pause, fast forward, reverse, stop’ on tape recorders and now copied onto websites like youtube. JUST WRITE OUT THE WORD. I DON’T CARE. WRITE THE WORD.

Do not use symbols. Just don’t. You *almost never* actually need them for *anything*.

But aside from hating the fact that they used meaningless symbols, I do like it that the thing on the right side of the page is a list of suggested things to do. They suggest that you talk about what you’re eating! This is something everybody does, but is actually kind of made fun of or frowned upon, not embraced and encouraged, on facebook. On facebook it’s like, ‘Ha ha, let’s make fun of people who like to post what they’re eating on facebook.’ I’m one of the people who likes to make some really weird bizarre food and then take a picture of it.

I made egg salad. I boiled six eggs, but I turned off the heat after only a brief minute or two, but I didn’t count and have no idea how long it was. I then cracked one of the eggs and peeled it, opened it up, and found it to be like a fried egg overeasy with a liquid yolk, which was exactly what I wanted. I did let them sit in the hot water after I turned it off, and that caused them to solidify, but I was aiming for fried eggs overeasy except still in the shells. I almost got that, for only one egg, before the rest of them solidified. I’m not upset about it, I wasn’t measuring or doing anything official.

So then I used some of these eggs and broke them up in a bowl, and I added mayonnaise (I would have preferred the organic homemade mayo without any weird substances in it, but I used what we had), capers (just because we have them), sliced chips of raw garlic, fresh raw dill from the garden, sheep sorrel, ripped up parsley from the huge bunch that we have to use up, brown mustard (again, it has ingredients I don’t want and doesn’t meet my criteria, but I’m using what we have), salt, pepper… I think that’s all. I put it on the bread that we have, and toasted it with the swiss cheese that we have, none of which meet my criteria, but I’m making do. (I do sort of want to go home to PA, partly so I can eat the way I want to, but I’m not ready yet.)

So I’d be one of those people posting photos of food that I’m making and eating, on a social network that kind of frowns upon and makes fun of people who are posting every detail of the food they’re cooking and eating. Meanwhile, mewe has an official button hardwired into the system explicitly encouraging you to post a picture of what you’re eating! I like this.

I see some other meaningless symbols at the top, and I haven’t tested them to find out what they are. There’s a bell, which will mean notifications, but does anyone born since the year 2000 even know what a physical, mechanical bell looks like? Bells used to be an actual mechanical object made of metal with a ringer inside that strikes the side of the bell. When children see a picture of a bell, do they even know what a bell is? I’m not even kidding. Most people born since the year 2000 have never seen a physical, mechanical bell ringing in their entire lives. They probably don’t make them play bells in school the way I did when I was a kid. Is ‘playing bells in school’ still a thing???? Does that even exist?

There’s a vaguely house shaped object, which will be ‘home.’ There’s a speech bubble. There are four utterly and completely meaningless dots, in a square shape, with a red dot beside them. I haven’t hovered over that button yet, so I’m going to guess that means…. add a new friend to your group of friends? I strongly, intensely dislike it that I have to guess what the bloody effing hell those little circles in a square shape mean. Then there’s a calendar page. Then a cloud. What the hell is the cloud? I am going to, for all eternity, for the rest of the time that I use this page, for years and years and years and years now, hesitate and feel uncertain and confused every single time I have to press a button and hover over it to find out whether I’m pressing the right button or not, hover over the buttons to find out what it’s possible for me to do, hover over the buttons to be reminded that it’s possible to do this thing or that thing, when I should be able to just glance up at them and in a fraction of a second read the word ‘friends,’ ‘home,’ ‘chat,’ and so on.

Why don’t we just make a totally nonverbal emoji-based language that will completely replace every single verbal word? They have this as a running joke on some comedy movies I’ve watched in the past couple years, like the one (I’m not remembering the name) where the parents were trying to follow their daughters who were making a sex pact, and they were using an eggplant to represent a penis, and every single word they used was an emoji as a secret code. I do not want to use a goddamn secret code to operate the user interface. I am a verbal person.

Aha, down on the left side, it has a similar group of four empty circles in a square arrangement, and it says ‘browse open groups.’ The one on top is the same meaningless symbol with a red dot beside it. Join a group? You’re the red dot? WRITE IT IN WORDS. WORDS! WORDS!

I have barely even begun to explore this page yet. I just had to get my initial reactions as soon as possible, before I settled in and got used to it. Eventually, I will get used to it and surrender to the horror of the meaningless symbols. I will forget that they shouldn’t be there. Never forget! Even a commonly accepted symbol like a rightward-pointing triangle to say ‘play’ on a video shouldn’t be there. It should say the word ‘play.’ I’m really serious about this. You have no idea how passionately I hate meaningless symbols instead of words for everything.

I’m gonna try the MeWe social network, which is temporarily privately owned for this brief moment in time, but which will inevitably surrender to the temptation of a multibillion dollar company sale

September 17, 2018

I read about MeWe on the freerepublic website. I decided to look at it. I’m going to test the user interface. So far, the user interface is just the slightest bit bulky and sluggish, with a few spinning circles of death that do, eventually, resolve into images. Spinning circles of death should never happen at all, on a website that *I* design. The page loads a little bit slowly and has a few flashes where it locks up the computer for a second. I’m using a computer from, I think, 2008, and Windows 7 Starter, but I insist that any well-designed website will never cause any computer to lock up if the computer was made in the last 25 years. It should be designed to use so little memory and to be so efficient and clean that it can run on a computer from the 1990s without any problems.

I’m just going to explore MeWe a bit, but I’m not going to get attached to it, because I am aware of the inevitability. Meetup.com used to be a good site, too, but then it was sold. The new buyers of meetup.com began to inevitably ruin the website and totally ignored all user complaints about how the user interface was ruined. They ignored all complaints about usability and functionality. This is an inevitable event that results whenever the original maker of a website sells it to a new buyer or to ‘the public,’ which is a board of directors who are looking for ways to make the stock price go up and to give a bigger dividend to shareholders.

I do not call myself a capitalist anymore, because long-distance abstract capitalism does not work. Long-distance abstract capitalism says, ‘If you can make these imaginary numbers go to a higher number, that’s good!’ You just have to make some number go higher, and that indicates that the world has become a better place. Making a number go from a smaller number to a bigger number is all that one need to do improve the quality of the universe. That’s the idea of long-distance abstract capitalism.

So, boards of directors strive to make a small number become a big number. They strive to get bigger profit numbers, bigger dividend numbers, higher stock prices. All one need do is make numbers get bigger, and that’s sufficient. The job is done.

Individual private owners, however, have other ideas in mind when they make a company, other principles and values besides just making numbers get bigger. ‘Capitalism’ does not distinguish between the enormous differences in a company which is individually privately owned and whose values and principles come from this one owner who isn’t focused on nothing but ‘making the numbers bigger.’ Capitalism doesn’t care whether a company is privately owned, or ‘public,’ and traded on the stock market, and controlled by a board of directors. Boards of directors, and companies traded on the stock market, are viewed as perfectly acceptable, perfectly valid manifestations of capitalism.

That is why I cannot call myself a capitalist. I don’t have a word that describes what I am yet. But I can’t call myself a capitalist when ‘capitalism’ says it’s perfectly fine to make no distinction between the type of company that is owned by one person who controls its values and its principles and is focused on something besides ‘making the numbers get bigger,’ versus a company that is ‘publicly owned’ by the shareholders and the board of directors, who have no values or principles at all except to make some imaginary abstract numbers get bigger. Capitalism says, both of those types of corporations are perfectly okay, perfectly acceptable, perfectly valid manifestations of capitalism, and I strongly disagree.

A privately owned corporation is a good thing, and a ‘public’ corporation, which is still ‘capitalism,’ is absolutely NOT okay. I know this from experience. Again, and again, and again, I have seen companies that used to be great, good, excellent companies become totally ruined and destroyed and made utterly devoid of all value the instant that they got sold to somebody else, sold to a bigger corporation, or sold to shareholders. It continues to have the goodwill, the good name, as though it has kept its identity, but it is NOT the same company and it should be illegal for a company to keep the same name when it changes that much. Its principles and its soul have completely and utterly changed. Its identity is not the same. Now if a family owner passes it down to his children and they are still keeping the same spirit of the company, that’s fine, that works, that doesn’t totally ruin the whole spirit of the company necessarily. It can, but it isn’t anywhere near as horrible as when it gets sold to a larger company or gets made ‘public’ and sold to shareholders. The children who receive the business can sometimes mess it up.

Breyers Ice Cream used to have ice cream with simple ingredients: milk, cream, sugar, and one or two other things. There were no chemicals. They got sold to a company beginning with the letter U which I forget. Some weird word. It’s a chemical company, if I understand correctly, or a company that sells – Unilever, maybe? A company that sells a lot of different products, and some of them involve chemicals. This company instantly began adding horrible, disgusting, unnecessary chemicals to ruin Breyers Ice Cream, such as sticky chewing gum that makes the ice cream rock hard and unchewable so that it hurts your teeth and feels sticky in your mouth, just like every other disgusting horrible ice cream on the planet. Gum-free ice cream is the only ice cream worth eating.

Millions of customers were devastated by this change, but the company completely ignored all their complaints. The only ice cream that doesn’t have sticky chewing gum in it now is Turkey Hill All Natural – make it clear that Turkey Hill also sells normal chewing gum ice cream, so you have to specify the particular product line, the ‘All Natural’ product line. Only stupid lunatic morons enjoy ice cream that has horrible sticky chewing gum in it.

I’m kind of mad at Consumer Reports because of this. Consumer Reports once did a report of ice cream, comparing all the different kinds, and the lunatic moron who tested the various ice creams *judged* Breyers to be less desirable because it melted faster due to its lack of sticky chewing gum. ‘Not melting fast’ is a stupid, idiotic, lunatic standard which is artificially applied to ice cream, which can only occur when high-tech chemicals are added to the ice cream. Sure, you can add radioactive uranium to the ice cream to supply power to the nanites that will run nanotech refrigerators inside the ice cream so that it NEVER melts, EVER, not even inside your body after you eat it! We can judge ice cream by the artificial insane standard of ‘it never melts at all!’ All we need is some more advanced technology to make that happen! So, oh, sticky chewing gum is an absolute necessity in order for ice cream to be artificially perfect by an artificial, universal, all-encompassing standard of what constitutes ‘good’ or ‘bad’ ice cream qualities. Ice cream that melts is ‘bad.’ Ice cream that stays solid the longest without melting is ‘good.’

Consumer Reports complained that Breyers ice cream melted faster – which is exactly why its devotees loved it. The mouthfeel of gum-free ice cream is much more enjoyable. It melts in your mouth, literally! Isn’t ‘melt-in-your-mouth’ a standard of goodness? Not ‘stays sticky and chewy for the next ten minutes as your agonizing, cavity-filled teeth are screaming with pain while the chewing gum adheres to the pores in your teeth, filling them with freezing unbearable pain that refuses to melt no matter what and keeps on burning you with torturous freezing misery?’

But no! Ignore everything the consumers want.

This isn’t the only example. Every other corporation that started off good, but then was sold to somebody for billions of dollars, became horrible.

And we need to understand that billions and trillions are child’s play. There was a time when I mistakenly believed that the number magnitude we were talking about was in the trillions, and I thought a trillion was a large number. It turns out that if you read about ‘spiritual white boy’ or ‘white spiritual boy’ and those bank accounts, they have FIFTY ZEROES, which is a nameless order of magnitude. You have to do a google search to find out what latin prefix will be used to describe that number. That order of magnitude is what we’re working on, and it’s more than one bank account, not just one bank account. It’s a whole bunch of bank accounts in that order of magnitude. Those are the numbers that would be described as large numbers. Our whole concept of what order of magnitude we’re working with needs to change.

And ordinary people think a couple billion dollars is a big number, so when somebody offers that to them, they happily take it. MeWe will be no different, a few years from now when they decide they don’t want to run their business anymore.

But I’m going to get into it for now, very skeptically, for the time being, so that I can complain that I don’t like its interface.

Eating butternut squash is good for me. I made ‘squash porridge.’

September 17, 2018

11:40 AM 9/17/2018

I know that I’ve gone a long time without eating the way I would like to eat. This always happens, whether I’m at home or here. At home, my house isn’t yet set up to produce food. I have huge bags of camping equipment all over the table in garbage bags, and there’s not much space. I do love living in a trailer, but I also need workspace. The trailer is better than living in an apartment, but it is not the final stage of my living situation. I would still keep the trailer if I had land to live on, but I would be able to expand and make workshops outside. Keeping them outside is a good idea anyway, depending on what kinds of chemicals and dust you’ll be handling in the workshop.

We ate at Panera a couple days ago. I think I wrote about it – I complained that they had tasteless tomatoes. I saw that the autumn squash soup was in a picture up on the menu, but it wasn’t listed in the written words part of the menu. So I asked the lady if they had the squash soup, and she said yes. I ordered it. When they started making my order, they called me up and told me they were out of squash soup. That would explain why it wasn’t listed in the words, just in the picture. So I had to get a different soup that I didn’t like as much. I really, really wanted the squash soup.

I told Dad about this and he said that I could get squash at the Halfway Market, which is sort of a local farmers market. I guess he thought Kroger wouldn’t have the squash yet or he hadn’t seen it there. I went to the Halfway Market and got some squash, which wasn’t labeled as organic so I’m going to assume it was conventional. Buying from local farmers does not in any way guarantee that it’s organic, nor does buying from the Amish, who *do* use chemicals on their farms (that’s my understanding, but I could be wrong – fact-checking needed).

I got a butternut squash, an acorn squash, a ‘pie’ pumpkin, which was a medium small size and which I guess has something different about it than the big pumpkins, and a thing of three indian corns tied together. I love indian corn. I haven’t ever tried to eat it, but I will someday. This particular one that I got was moldy, but I bought it on purpose because I realized that if anybody else but me saw that it was moldy, they might throw it away and waste it. I don’t mind that it’s moldy.

I ate some of the butternut squash raw. I think it might possibly have made me get itchy skin. I don’t know for sure. I was itching later that day. Raw vegetables are not always good for you, because all plants have naturally occurring toxins – not lethal toxins that will kill you, but mild toxins that might cause minor problems. Butternut squash might possibly be better for you when it’s cooked.

So I ate some of it raw the other day, and then yesterday, I cut it up, and I boiled some of it, and then I squashed it – I guess it is literally called ‘squash’ because you squash it, but I don’t know. Then I added milk and sugar to it and made squash porridge. The squash porridge was really good.

Today, I mysteriously feel better in some indefinable way. I always notice that if I eat a healthy vegetable after going a long time without eating them, I will suddenly notice that something inside me mysteriously feels just a little bit better and a little bit happier. I am *very* well aware of the fact that 97% of the time, my diet is extremely unhealthy, and I do not like that at all. So I really notice it if I eat something and then notice that I feel better the next day. Squash, I guess, is a fruit, not a ‘vegetable.’

I love butternut squash and I would strongly prefer to use butternut squash as the staple food instead of potatoes. I would eat butternut squash french fries which were fried in some kind of high quality fat – either fat from grassfed animals, or fat from wild native animals, or oils from local plants such as acorns or walnuts, which had been freshly made and which was not yet rancid. I do think it’s okay to eat plant oils but they must be impeccable quality and should be freshly made, and we should start utilizing underutilized things like acorns, which are extremely common, and available everywhere in massive amounts for free. They are bitter and they require
processing, such as soaking in water.

So, add butternut squash to the list of things that seems to suddenly make me feel mysteriously better the next day after I eat it. It isn’t even organic.

I’m probably also feeling better because the hurricane is gradually passing away. I am weather sensitive. I think I was partially hibernating in anticipation of the hurricane, not as a conscious choice but because of how it made me feel.

I briefly watched part of “Charly,” Gamma ESFP; also Delta “Bad Moms” and probably Alpha “Children of Men.”

September 15, 2018

Charly, the movie: I overheard some of the movie while I was in the bath, and I went down to watch the rest. It was on Dad’s to watch list for a while. He misunderstood the description thinking it would be more of a lighthearted love story, but it was a cancer death story, which hit home. He said movie ratings should have “H or S” ratings to show if they had a happy or sad ending. I like that idea! I usually don’t like sad tragic endings either. (They’re too much like my real life, which is a long string of frustrations and failures.)

The guy in the movie is Mormon and ESFP. His vocal tone, mannerisms, and thought processes resemble Jesse and, to a lesser extent, Compulsive Thief Chris (different guy from Chris the Dual who I’m still not really in contact with and probably won’t be). The girl’s name is Charly. I’ve figured out that if a Gamma quadra movie is named after a woman, the woman dies of cancer.

This movie used the trope of “It’s never just a sniffle.” In movies, a minor illness is always fatal, because they don’t have time in movies to portray every detail of life, every time you catch a cold for no reason. Charly’s “muscle cramp” incident told me immediately “She’s gonna die and it’s gonna be cancer.” (This isn’t funny, but making it a rule like that made me laugh.)

I’ve been interested in the Mormon religion and other religions and not long ago was watching videos about Mormon missionaries.

Yesterday we watched “Bad Moms.” Delta, Delta, Delta. Bitchy ESTJ is actually vulnerable woman with terrible problems. Martha Stewart appears in movie as herself. Main character probably INFJ.

The night before, I thought “Children of Men” looked interesting. Dad really didn’t like it. It was Alpha Quadra, I think. Negative emotions, anger, war, a dystopia, a guy who’s ISFP, the old guy who helps the main characters and gets killed. I liked the movie because I can relate to the idea of a global shortage of children. It feels that way to me. One single child is absolutely precious in a context of global infertility. So we watched it to the end. It was depressing and the hero guy died at the end but the girl and baby made it. So it’s hard to define how much of a happy-sad ending it was. It was not a 100% failure, but not a total success.

We watch a movie pretty much every night. I’m not always there – a couple nights ago I took a nap early and was in bed all evening while he watched his movie.

I like the Fujian tulou building design

September 15, 2018

One thing led to another. I’m not feeling well so I’m just taking it easy and doing random google searches while sitting in the bath because of cramping. I read on twitter that a Chinese student had died in a car crash at Penn State, so I started researching his name. A distorted or mistranslated version of his name is like “The Sea God” or “Sea Man,” a cryptid. Kaijin is the sea man, in Japanese. Kaijing Tang was his name. I’m not entirely sure if they put his last name first. I don’t know him, it was just random. I like the Chinese students at Penn State, so it caught my attention.

So then I ended up trying to find blogs from China. I saw this: http://blog.sina.cn/dpool/blog/s/blog_75cea2d60102xy4n.html

The Fujian tulou buildings had been mistaken for missile silos on a satellite image, but the Americans went there and found out they were old earthen buildings. Many of them have a large outer circle surrounding an inner open space with smaller buildings. I like that as a community living space idea.

I also found out that jing, qi, and shen are the three treasures. They can’t be given a one to one word translation, but basically it’s essence, energy, and soul. Something like that. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Treasures_(traditional_Chinese_medicine)

The fujian tulou are made of commonly available materials, nothing technological – they include things like bamboo and dirt. “The fortified outer structures are formed by compacting earth, mixed with stone, bamboo, wood and other readily available materials, to form walls up to 6 feet (1.8 m) thick. Branches, strips of wood and bamboo chips are often laid in the wall as additional reinforcement. The result is a well-lit, well-ventilated, windproof and earthquake-proof building that is warm in winter and cool in summer.[3] Tulous usually have only one main gate, guarded by 4–5-inch-thick (100–130 mm) wooden doors reinforced with an outer shell of iron plate. The top level of these earth buildings has gun holes for defensive purposes.”

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Today’s spotlight is: Alum!

September 15, 2018

I found wintergreen oil in a very old fashioned looking bottle, which was partially solidified. I don’t remember what we used to make that was wintergreen flavored. We did make our own candy a long time ago and I assume it was in there. The last time I remember making our own candy was probably in the 1980s.

And I found a box of Alum! The box looks old fashioned in style. I don’t know if Mom used it when she made pickles in recent years. I think it was used for pickling. I’d have to google it. Alum has been implicated as a likely cause of dementia. We do have a lot of home canned vegetables from when mom was alive. It’s *possible* she was still using the alum, but if she did, it was so little and so rarely that we still had that ancient box.

Oops, factual error, pineapple is in the pico salsa

September 15, 2018

I forgot to mention there was also canned pineapple in the asparagus pico salsa. I was getting rid of it. The canned pineapple was in the cabinet and its expiration date was four years ago. I opened it out of desperation because we had no fruit juice for a couple days.

We have many extremely expired foods. It is a running joke in the family, although I’m serious about strongly believing in using foods as quickly as possible, first in first out, before they expire, because it loses nutrients as it decays, and might spoil, especially vegetable oils in baked goods like expired crackers and cookies – those you can taste and smell. They smell horrible, like Play-Doh.

Rancid fat is really bad for you. It causes multiple small strokes and bruises. If you see lots of bruises suddenly appearing on random body parts, the bruises are inside your brain as well. I’ve had it happen and I recovered. Long story. It’s usually mild.

But for an old person on anticoagulants (Dad isn’t) like warfarin from foxglove plants, it could be fatal. You get a mild mini-stroke from rancid fats, and don’t stop bleeding because of anticoagulant drugs.

Anyway, we joke about finding spices and sauces from 1970 in the cabinet. I was talking to Dad about "trying to use things up," and he said "I don’t think in terms of using things up." He didn’t study nutrition for a couple decades like I have. Fresh foods have ephemeral things that we really need and we’re missing out when we don’t get those things.

Anyway this was all just to add that there was pineapple in there too. My invented foods are not always good. I sometimes tolerate them. I sometimes don’t finish them if they’re inedible.

Other times, they’re really really great. I think we could do *so much* with the concept of pico salsas made from fruits and vegetables and fresh herbs besides just tomatoes.

Bacon and eggs; The more I learn about WV, the more I like it

September 15, 2018

I was reading about Fostoria glass, which moved from Ohio to Moundsville, WV. Moundsville is where the giant skeletons are buried. We have Mothman in Point Pleasant. We have all sorts of factories. The environmentalist in me hates factories, and the crafter in me loves them.

I’m eating bacon, semi-poached eggs (fried on the bacon grease with some water and a lid on top), raw butternut squash (too lazy to cook it but I might eventually, and want to try it raw – it’s extremely crunchy), ripped-up parsley that we have to use up, since we bought it for something else Dad cooked, and my "asparagus pico salsa," where I used up my asparagus and my leftover orange pepper by chopping them up together with onions and fresh dill and a fresh picked poblano pepper.

I’m eating foods I wouldn’t normally, because we have them here (nightshades, peppers, tomatoes). I can’t wait till my trailer is set up to be able to cook again. I’ll eat weird foods and dried foods and organic and foreign foods.

Religious groups multiply more than secular

September 15, 2018

I’m finding occasional articles in the papers I’m using to wrap glasses. This one says Jewish people in Israel have a 3.1 fertility rate, above replacement, while the Belgian rate is 1.7, below replacement. The article says that the higher rate is true everywhere in Israel, not just among the most Orthodox Jews. So it is not entirely religious, because they said even the secular people there have more kids. "Nations that don’t recognize children as central to a good life will face serious economic consequences. Without enough young workers, aging societies will struggle to support the sick and elderly. These troubles await not only Belgium but also Japan, China, most of Europe and even the U.S."

Wrapping Fostoria glasses to take to my cousin

September 15, 2018

My dad’s getting rid of stuff, and I’m going to bring some of it back to my cousin in PA.

The problem is I’m cramping, and the ibuprofen is working, but slowly. So I have to keep taking breaks and getting up from the table and walking around. So this is a picture of the project and a picture of my "I’m cramping and taking ibuprofen" face. My face will be mostly back to normal tomorrow.