Archive for October, 2017

Fasting makes you so sick you can’t eat even after the fast is over

October 31, 2017

12:06 PM 10/31/2017

So after that unusually long fast the other day, whenever that was, my previous day off – I guess it was Sunday? – I ate only a very small bit of food in the middle of the night, just some dried fruits and nuts. Then I was able to eat more later. I’m reading about it, and some people experience vomiting when they try to eat again after fasting. I’m noticing that I feel quite sick, and right now, I’m so sick I can barely eat, although I did have a caffeine pill this morning. I can take a few bites of food, but that’s all. I’m at Uni-Mart and I just ordered hash browns, which is just a tiny envelope with a tiny handful of potato disks. So, the fasting method makes you so sick you become unable to eat anymore, and then you lose weight partly because of that. I’m guessing that’s how it works.

I have a whole bunch of stuff to do today, because I’m stuck here camping and it’s getting cold and I have nothing. I’m going to get some of that blue insulation at Walmart, which I will put inside my sleeping bags, and I need some thick clothes, which I will try to find at Goodwill or the thrift store. The blue camping mats will help greatly. Those by themselves can just be added infinitely and are a million times cheaper than a new sleeping bag, which is $100 or more if I buy a good one for winter.

But yeah…. I can’t eat. I can barely nibble, and I’m drinking some juice and coffee. The horrible instant coffee could contribute to my being sick, though. But the fasting is definitely the main cause.

I’m not any skinnier – the belly fat is still there – but I feel a sensation of being ‘sucked in’ in my abdomen, as though something is pulling inwards. Sometimes it triggers a strange, sickening, oxytocin-like feeling of pleasure mixed with nausea and a feeling of being ‘violated.’ The feelings I get from fasting linger for several days after the fast. I know it takes a couple days for food to go all the way through the intestines, so the empty space in the intestines takes a couple days to pass through.

People who fast for a longer period have an even harder time getting back on food again without vomiting. They have to slowly reestablish whatever it is, the enzymes or bacteria or something.

Raw meat – that’s what I’ve been thinking of. I’m eating more protein and am trying to get the best foods when I do buy food – protein-rich foods. But if I could get raw organ meats, that would be the right thing to do, I’m sure of it.

I’m reading other people’s opinions and blogs about intermittent fasting. I enjoyed one called ‘food can wait.’ That’s the URL. I’m not sure what the actual title is. – Okay, I googled it, that’s the title.

There is something *wrong* with the bodies of people who are fat. I don’t remember which metal it is, but arsenic, cadmium, lead, and mercury early in life will permanently embed themselves in your tissues and cannot be removed, and they are one reason why you permanently are fat while other people aren’t. I myself became permanently fat under some circumstances where I was living next to a probably-toxic farmer’s field, and I wonder if agricultural chemicals were involved, but it also happened during a time when I had one, and only one, cup of alcohol. I believe alcohol permanently ruins your body after only one cup, and that’s what made me permanently fat.

I just think it’s wrong that there are some people who have to fight this huge battle to lose weight, while others do nothing. It’s unfair. It’s obviously something very, very wrong with their whole body, permanently, through no fault of their own. It’s not merely because of ‘overeating.’ Why would they gain back the weight even while fasting and barely eating at all? People who are struggling to lose weight will gain it back even while doing extreme diets. There is *something wrong* and it’s not their fault. And I don’t like oversimplified explanations that are vague and that don’t explain the details of how it works, like ‘Their fat thermostat is set too high’ or whatever. *How* does that work?

Anyway…. I have a lot to do. I’m charging my phones right now. I’ll stay till they’re charged, at least.

Oh, I was going to say, my hips feel better. I don’t know if it’s because I reduced caffeine, or because of fasting. People say fasting helps arthritis. It definitely helps, whichever it was. Also, I *totally disagree* with the people who insist you should drink coffee and tea while fasting. Those are totally counterproductive. They might not make you gain weight, and they might help you lose weight, but they are very bad for you. Both are toxic and malnourishing and unhealthy for your brain. When you fast, you should learn to quit all forms of caffeine, too. And there are people who are on a dozen different psych meds who are talking about fasting, on these forums, and they want to reverse the weight gain caused by meds, without stopping meds.

Others say they took meds and stopped, but never lost the weight. CONTAMINATION. They need to get rid of all their clothing and all their furniture and the fabric of their car seats and their carpets. I’ve experienced it. It doesn’t wash out of clothing and it causes weight gain. The weight gain went away when I threw away the clothes.

Anyway my hip joints are improved. I also feel lighter when I walk, but I know I’m not really lighter. I haven’t weighed myself. I don’t have a scale. I only did at the YMCA, and I haven’t been there in months. I was around 150. At max I might have been 155.

Eureka! What’s wrong with my code? Answer: I’m an idiot

October 30, 2017

I just had a glorious shining success after hours of frustrating failures. I can’t explain. I’m still doing “Axe In Inventory,” although right now the object is a pick. I’ve been doing Axe In Inventory since last fall right before Mom died. (It’s like Billy Crystal working on “The Night Was.”) I’m trying to make an inventory that resembles Terraria. I’m copying Terraria just to learn how to use GameMaker, kind of like how I used to copy cartoon characters while learning to draw.

I tried a new thing where I made an array. Now I’ve been trying to put the pick into the array if the little guy touches the pick. I was able to get it to work or fail in unpredictable, unexplainable ways. Finally after hours of torture, I noticed that I had a whole separate action saying to destroy the pick if you touched it. In this GameMaker, the thing lets you make separate little boxes with bits of code in them, but it can be confusing and you can forget what you did elsewhere in another box if you can’t see it. It’s probably best to keep it in the same place.

I suddenly saw that I had an “if” statement asking whether or not the pick had been destroyed. Of course it’s been destroyed, you moron! It always gets destroyed! No matter what you do in this little block of code, it’s already been destroyed because you set it to be destroyed in that OTHER action box! Duh! No wonder my IF results were weird and strange and made no sense! I can’t even explain. It was just wrong.

My little text file where I’m writing my thoughts and pseudocode says “fuck! fuck! fuck!” and a bunch of @&$+$(@(‘;;#-$%(@+ symbols.

another fast, and this downpour is ending for now

October 30, 2017

I’m at home in the tent. I fasted for about 21 hours, just approximately, but that’s partly because it poured rain constantly since, I don’t know what day. Today is Monday morning, and I think the rain began after the football game on Saturday. Now we have cold wind.

I’m not very verbose right now. I withdrew from coffee too and had only a few sips of instant just now. I have a feeling of optimism. I’m going to be able to do this. I will get a car, but remain interested in using alternatives, such as electric bikes and other things. I won’t forget. As soon as I have to deal with titles, registrations, inspections, repairs, and gas expense, I will long for the convenience of bikes.

I also will miss interacting deeply with the landscape. You can only see the flowers, fruits, weeds, and so on while walking or biking.

I saw my favorite customer. He seems to appear on weekends, but I also saw him in the day, I just never work day shift. His recent befriending seems to correlate with Blaire being here.

I’m playing Terraria, partly to keep myself away from facebook forums. But the game is slowed down since the developers fucked up the update. That’s one reason why I want to make a game of my own.

I want 100% natural fruitcake. No colors. I also want my essential oils again. I got sick of them after vaporizing them for hours while I sat at a table in the laundromat. I am feeling that love of life again. I know I can do this. I’m about to run out of text characters. But I love October, the harvest, Halloween, and I will love Christmas again, the solstice. It’s a feast, with moderate gifts, not meant to be $5,000 debts for toys. I will own land and bring my people there.

slightly reduced caffeine today and slightly fasted

October 26, 2017

It wasn’t a really long fast. I think it might have been a 14 hour fast or something, since I ate in the middle of the night last night. I also had a cup of decaf at about 8pm last night, and I’m having a cup of horrible instant coffee now.

I’m feeling cold, but the clothes sold at Walmart are purely decorative. You could put on eight layers and still have no heat. I bought a sweater made of acrylic just because I was in a hurry and cotton isn’t available. Synthetics hold body odor for eternity. I don’t use “real” deodorant, I use a compromise one, which is “slightly natural.” It doesn’t stop all the odor.

I’m waiting for a reply from Wells Fargo. Somebody recently said it was the only one that hadn’t had something happen with regard to the mortgage crisis, something like a fee to pay to the government as punishment or something. The written voice of Wells Fargo is the same as PayPal and the same as Christian Grey from that horrible shades of grey thing. It’s Beta ST, either ISTJ or ESTP. Also, some hacker-detective reminded me of a forgotten account I never used at another bank, when Jesse wanted me to help him buy a car, and it didn’t work out. They sent me an email from that bank to remind me they existed. I’ve lost all the paperwork and can’t even login. So I’ll have to contact them.

I successfully got a new card from one bank where I made one single stock trade and never did it again. It’s still sitting there in stockland just existing. It’s an ETF or something. It has to go up an enormous amount merely to compensate for the fees. Like, $20 to buy it, and $20 to sell it, so it has to rise more than $40, which might happen after a few decades. I just wanted to learn how it was done. That was why I did that. I don’t know if the Robinhood trading app is safe and trustworthy, but my McD friend Eric told me about it and said it’s free. What I would do is, use the Warren Buffett methods in the Preston Pysh videos, and trade for free.

A very long rant about the differences between me and some other socionic types – ISFP, INFP; and about how I am becoming a draconian dictator in my middle age and an anti-libertarian; how I disagree with people when I actually agree with them

October 24, 2017

2:37 PM 10/24/2017

I won’t be able to go see Corey Goode when he comes to Philadelphia this weekend. There’s a something expo, I forget the name of it. That’s okay, I’m considering moving to Boulder, CO like I always wanted to all these decades, so I’ll be immersed right in the middle of the Gaia TV thing anyway if I do.

I had been planning to write about a couple more things but I feel like I want the previous unsent text messages to go through first before I can continue writing the long post about socionics. I had already written two, thinking that sooner or later, the messages would send successfully, but they still haven’t.

Okay – I did finally get them to send.

Today my one job is to go to Walmart and buy a new pair of shoes. The sole is flapping open and I have electrical tape around it, from the drawer of junk at work. It’s certainly not *my* tape. I buy dozens of rolls of duct tape and stuff every year and they always vanish into some storage unit somewhere, so I buy more of them, then suddenly I have 27 of them all barely used.

Okay! Plus and minus signs, and the difference between me and the ISFP coworkers. Also, a funny incident.

Blaire (ESTJ, Delta, mirror relation) found a friend-of-a-friend and is trying to get him hired at MM. He’s black, but socionics can overcome racism. Incidentally, I also liked the other black guy who worked here for a while, but have no idea what type he was. I suspect that this new guy, believe it or not, might possibly be an INFJ of Delta, or possibly an INTJ Alpha.

There was an amusing incident the other night. I was sitting at a table with Blaire after getting out of work, and I was using my laptop. The other guy, CJ, was also there at another table, kind of talking to us or just doing his own thing, I don’t know what, using his phone or something.

Blaire looked up and noticed there was a light switch on the wall by the tables, which I had never seen before. ‘Flip that switch and see what it does,’ she said to CJ, who was sitting at the table beside the switch. He looked at it suspiciously, as though she was playing a prank on him, as though the light switch would do something terrible.

He made a big show of standing up, opening his backpack, taking out a pouch, opening the pouch, taking out his eyeglasses, putting them on, and then leaning forward to peer closely at the light switch, but still did not touch it. Blaire and I were watching this whole process with anticipation and impatience.

‘Just flip it! I want to see what it does,’ she said.

‘I think it doesn’t do anything at all,’ I said, partly because I figured it probably didn’t, since it was out in the lobby where customers could reach it, and we wouldn’t want random customers to have the ability to turn our lights on and off, and also, just to reassure him that he wasn’t being pranked.

Finally Blaire got up and walked over there herself, but then he put his hand over the switch so she couldn’t flip it. That’s when I started laughing. She shoved his hand aside, flipped the switch, and a bunch of lights went out right over us, but not all the lights, and we all were laughing. It was anticlimactic.

Wanting to know what a switch does, to operate a machine, has something to do with Delta STs. This is something Blaire and I both relate to.

There are some observations of socionics at socionist.blogspot.com, where Rick has made an effort to stop himself from thinking about socionics, and he has questioned a lot of its assumptions. It’s actually a very valuable read. One thing he has observed is that he gets along with perceivers, regardless of quadra, as he himself is a perceiver. However, he’s not working at a traditional job, so he isn’t stuck with people who have power over him. When someone has power over you at a job, that is when the worst of the conflicts occur. Even with my own identicals, ISTP, I am still uncomfortable and in conflict with them if they have power over me, if they decide and I must obey.

But some of my most angry conflicts were with my superego INFP types at Taco Bell. Two of them became managers there. Taco Bell’s culture was anathema to my entire way of being. But one incident illustrates the difference betweeen the INFP and ISTP, superego relation.

Under stress, the conflicts are worst. If I am on the slightest dose of any drug at all, even something allegedly benign like turmeric, which causes me to become very angry, and if we have any kind of pressure at work, like we’re really busy, that’s when I can have the worst conflicts with the superego relation.

There was this one time when, I think, both of the INFP managers were there, and we were extremely busy. I had to go open up a new cardboard box to get some more wraps, the flour tortillas. For me, hurrying to get the tortillas so that they could use them at the table, to make the orders for all the customers who were waiting for their food and in a hurry – doing this quickly was the most important thing.

But for the INFP, something else is more important, as a workplace manager. I opened the box, and grabbed the tortillas, and left the box on the shelf with the flaps still attached. They started yelling at me to go get a box cutter and cut off the box flaps, right now, in the middle of an extremely busy time when there are more important and urgent things to do. I never cut the box flaps off. But they want the box to be neatly shaped, with a perfectly open top and no flaps, so you have to neatly slice all the flaps off so that it’s easy to get into it the next time.

That is the -Ni function: prevent something in the future. You have to prevent the box from being hard to get into, in the distant future. Nothing else matters but that. The long line of customers doesn’t exist. All that matters is a minor inconvenience in the distant future.

It’s also valuing +Ti: the box has to be perfectly neatly shaped in a particular way, according to specific measurements. -Ni is also ‘making other people wait.’ They don’t mind at all making the customers wait. In fact, people in the Beta quadra *enjoy* waiting for something. If they have to wait for something, it’s *better*. Having a long line wrapped around the building where you sit in your car for fifteen minutes starving actually makes Taco Bell the best place in town. They enjoy painfully starving and resisting the hunger urge, because that demonstrates their physical strength, which is valued (-Se), and they enjoy ignoring pain (disvalued -Si) instead of doing something to relieve the pain. -Ni is ‘waiting until the right moment.’

I, on the other hand, wait for something when I have to, but I’m not happy about it. I’m always waiting for the right time when something is ready, before I can do something, but I don’t *value* doing that. I also don’t try to plan ahead and prepare for every possible scenario that might happen and try to stop them all before they happen.

So, for instance, sometime in the distant future, it might be difficult to get into that cardboard box because the flaps are still on and you have to open them or move them in order to get into the box. For the INFP manager under pressure during a crazy busy moment with long lines of customers, it’s all-important to take time right now to prepare for that eventuality in the future.

I got in such a huge argument over this trivial thing that I was angry enough to either punch somebody or just walk off the job then and there. That’s an example of the stupid, idiotic, trivial things that superego relations can have a fight about. It’s an irreconcilable fight where neither side ever wins, nobody ever surrenders, neither can ever agree that the other is right and they’re being an idiot. It’s a question of having totally different VALUES, which is why socionics is so much better than the American version of the Myers-Briggs. Socionics understands that particular types have particular values and disvalues.

I recall another incident with a female suspected INFP when I worked at Weis. These are the moments when I’m so angry I’m ready to shout at someone, or walk off the job, or hit someone. I just remember I was working in the deli/food service area, and some customer ordered a Reuben sandwich. I went to the store shelves to go get some seeded rye bread. That’s because I love rye bread best of all the grains, as a personal preference. we were out of rye bread because we didn’t use it very often and didn’t keep it in the deli. But I cared about making it with rye because rye was the best.

This female INFP, I forget her name, but she had the horrible short haircut that looks horribly ugly, like a lot of lesbian butch female INFPs. I think she actually was a lesbian. (Note, Blaire is bisexual and also has an unusual haircut, shaved on one side, but I like her, and, as she and I were saying to each other, you can criticize someone’s physical appearance if you already don’t like them ‘on the inside.’)

She started telling me that I wasn’t allowed to make this Reuben sandwich the way I was making it. I had to follow a particular procedure for no reason. I wasn’t allowed to go get rye bread off the shelf and would have to tell him we didn’t have any rye bread. I’m not allowed to open that bag of rye bread. I’m opening the bag anyway and ignoring her and I start making the sandwich. She proceeds to have a stroke. we start arguing badly enough to practically get in a fistfight with each other, over this stupid, trivial thing.

I remember raising my voice at her as I justified making what the customer asked for using any means necessary. A Reuben isn’t a Reuben without rye, and I personally love rye bread and I can understand the customer’s desire for it.

(It turns out that there are objective benefits to rye – it has a particular enzyme that helps you digest grain, or something like that – I forget the details – it has to do with phytic acid and
antinutrients in grain. Rye was the best of all the grains in this regard, I just can’t remember exactly what it was.)

My differences between me and my current coworkers aren’t anywhere near like that. It’s only a kindred socionic relation, ISTP-ISFP. There are some differences, though, and they are significant enough to affect how I feel about my job.

Part of this is because I have chronic fatigue syndrome: it’s emphasizing my tendencies. All ISTPs desire smooth, efficient motion, but for me, it’s a matter of life and death because of chronic fatigue syndrome.

I just can’t bear to make food there at MM. Something about the setup is just horrible. Every single thing that could possibly be in the wrong place, to make it hard to do, is in the wrong place. There are too many different items on the menu. Too much complexity.
McDonald’s worked because it had a small menu with only a few selections that could be done easily again and again as a perfectly smooth routine that they specialized in. They specialized in making nothing but burgers. If you wanted hot dogs, you didn’t go to McDonald’s. I remember this from watching ‘The Founder,’ which talks about how Ray Kroc stole the business from the original people who created it. The differences between Ray Kroc and the original creators are socionic type differences! How he does things, versus how they did thing. Global, versus local.

Also, making food means you are inherently being interrupted, and there is no choice but to surrender to being interrupted, and having people get really mad at you because you make them wait 45 minutes for a taco. You have to jump back and forth between using the cash register and making food, taking your gloves off every time.

You have to make food that is rarely ever made, so you don’t have a smooth, memorized routine for it. You have to look it up in the book to see how to make it, or make it randomly and do it wrong – and because of my +Te, I can’t bear the thought of ‘doing it wrong.’ An algorithm for how a productive work process must be done is something that should be followed exactly. You can do a process ‘wrong’ if it serves a purpose to do so, though. But don’t give the customer too little. Always give them too much. If you don’t measure out the exact weight (+Ti, I think, is a measurement of an object such as weightj – a specific, real, local object because of the plus sign. If it’s a minus sign, -Ti as in Alpha Quadra, that means ‘universal and eternal measurements’ or ‘eternal truths’ such as a math formula that calculates a law of physics, forever, which is applicable eternally and globally.), then you have to give them more than the weight required, otherwise you’re screwing over the customer and being unethical (valued +Fi Delta – ethics, be good to the customer).

So, while I love having variety in a way, it’s hard to make an esoteric item that I never make and have to learn from scratch every single time a customer orders it. It’s best if I do an easy, quick item that I’ve made 200,000 times before. There are items on the menu that almost nobody ever orders, which we could just get rid of.

But how could it be that I’m a ‘foodie’ who desires all of the esoteric, specific types of food on earth, such as an unfamiliar type of seaweed that I’ve never eaten before, or organ meats, or insects, and so on? How can I say I desire that variety, while also saying I want less variety on our menu at work?

There is a difference between something I have to do in a hasty way while also hurrying to do ten other things, versus what I do when I have infinite time and can simply enjoy myself. Also, I value self-sufficiency, which is why I value learning about all the esoteric edible wild plants and using every single part of an animal that you kill for food. I believe people should supply themselves with all their economic needs locally (+Te has a plus sign = ‘local.’). But it’s not just that plus sign on the +Te. It’s more than that. It’s not wanting to depend on anyone you don’t trust. You can’t trust faraway people you don’t know (+Fi of Delta is ‘local individuals,’ specific people you know and trust, rather than Gamma -Fi, ‘people in the abstract.’).

‘whiteness’ is a color attribute, a philosophical attribute, which is general and universal and global. It has a minus sign. whatever function it is that notices ‘whiteness’ and talks about it, that’s a minus sign. I think it is probably -Se, but I’m not sure (Beta quadra). Aristotle talked about things like the abstract trait of whiteness of something, in a philosophical way. (I didn’t read much Aristotle, but I do remember that I forced myself to struggle through a couple pages of some book before I gave up.)

‘This specific object is white, a particular shade of white, which changes depending on how the lights are shining on it’ is a local function with a plus sign.

‘Dogs’ is a global function with a minus sign. All dogs, throughout all time and all places, in the abstract, dogs in general, anonymous dogs.

‘My specific dog, who has a name, who is right here with me, a specific color and fur and breed, a specific personality,’ is a function with a plus sign, local.

‘How this type of machine works’ is probably some kind of minus sign, I think – -Te maybe. Or maybe -Ti.

‘This specific machine is broken and quirky and you have to pound it with your fist because there’s a bad connection in some electrical wire somewhere’ is local +Te of Delta. It’s a specific manifestation of a machine, not the general abstraction of how all screws work, or how all combustion engines work. I’m operating this annoying keyboard on my laptop, which has a problem with the letter w right now, so I’m hitting ctrl-v to paste the letter w every time I have to type it. I’m not using the USB keyboard because it’s too big to fit into my backpack.

why did the guy who reacted to Trump have to be named ‘Flake?’ Did they totally name him that name on purpose? Did they just make that name up?

Also, -Si, a learned routine done over and over again: I’ve learned, from having to do it hundreds of times, not to try to press the w on the keyboard, so I am forming a smooth routine (albeit inconvenient because you have to press two keys simultaneously) of hitting ctrl-v when I want a w. I’m able to do this smoothly and almost
automatically. If it were the first time that I had ever encountered this problem, I would be frustrated and annoyed for many minutes while trying to figure it out. Instead, right now, I’m just operating the keyboard the way it has to be operated due to its quirks.

with -Si as the base function, the downside is that you can get used to doing routines that are painful, difficult, and inefficient, if you have done them enough times.

‘Corker?’ what the fuck, even? Flake and Corker? The names of these people criticizing Trump! I’m at Burger King and I can see what’s on the TV. what new, weird, fucked-up loser name will they come up with next? Let’s look at the names of all the senators to see whose names are the lamest. Those will be the future enemies of Trump! ‘Mr. Douchebag’ and ‘Senator Loser’ will be the next names on the list.

I actually don’t really support Trump. I endure him because I have no choice. Our election system is 100% hacked and 100% fake.

Anyway, when you get used to doing painful inefficient routines, you sometimes forget that you ever wanted to change them, which is why I value -Ne. -Ne tells me it’s possible to find alternatives. There are other things out there, other ways of doing things, if only I would see them and try them. It’s also got to be a global minus sign, though, or I can’t accept it. I’m not able to use the information provided by the +Ne of the Alpha quadra, or the +Ni of Gamma, as effectively as I can utilize the information provided by the -Ne of Delta. So for instance I read Jared Diamond’s books and remember that information and value it. He was typed ENFP. His books about primitive people have the concept of ‘Another lifestyle is possible.’ It’s about alternatives.

In reality, perceivers can all hang out together and enjoy each other’s company, regardless of quadra, as Rick observed, and as I know from experience – the worst conflicts are when your entire workplace, or your entire society, are designed to meet the needs of some type that you disvalue, or serve some information element that you disvalue, such as ‘slavery above all else,’ which is what my society currently serves. who cares about my pain and suffering? -Si is disvalued and doesn’t exist. Relieving pain and suffering is the farthest thing from anybody’s mind. Preventing pain and suffering before it happens (probably a combination of weak -Ni serving the needs of -Si) by setting up our society in such a way as to prevent the weston Price deformities – that’s what needs to be done.

I have noticed that I often disagree with people who I agree with, people who are theoretically ‘on my side.’ I disagree because of something about how their plus and minus signs process the
information, or with some other function being used. I don’t trust them to agree with me in the ways that matter, because something in their rationale doesn’t match mine. There are two recent incidents that illustrate this: the ‘tobacco ban’ and the ‘anti-vaccine’ facebook post.

Oh I should mention also that I can hang out with judging types too, it’s just that I’m uncomfortable if I spend too much time in a group of people who are nothing but judgers. I start to feel like I’m in a different universe and I’m an alien species and I feel like nobody really understands me. I can have a mixed group of people. Our college gang was a large, mixed group of girls who all lived in the Advanced Placement wing of the dorm, and we all got along well when we went to the dining hall to eat together and talk.

Anyway, the tobacco ban incident. I decided to google ‘tobacco ban’ or something like that, and found a page right near the top of the results which was a giant load of horsecrap, and made the entire idea look crazy. It was like a troll page designed to convince people to change their minds about a tobacco ban, because of how badly written, deceptive, and badly reasoned it was. It stated a bunch of facts that were not true, as evidence for its argument. (‘Tobacco is grown on the planet Pluto, which is why it should be illegal for everyone!’)

I don’t remember all the details, I just remember that I might agree with some parts of the general idea, but all the argument for it was wrong, and I could not agree with this person, even though I agreed with them.

I need to mention that I am becoming anti-libertarian in my middle age, and I am actually a draconian dictator now, albeit I only want a community that people are able to escape from. I don’t want to kill people who are trying to escape, like North Korea. In my draconian dictatorship, I care about people’s health, which means that my laws are ‘meddling in their personal lives’ and ‘taking away their freedom to harm only themselves when they aren’t harming anyone else.’

Note, people who buy cigarettes legally, with an ID saying they’re 18, are able to go home to the house and smoke while sitting next to their toddler on the floor, who has no choice but to breathe, and they have the freedom to choose to do that to their toddler because we value your freedom to harm your own family however you wish to harm them – that’s your choice. You’re responsible for what you do to your family, so it’s legal to go home and smoke with your toddler on your lap. we wouldn’t want to invade anyone’s privacy and tell them what to do in their own home.

As a draconian dictator, I am rebelling against that entire way of seeing things. No, you *shouldn’t* have the freedom to choose how you raise your own child. You shouldn’t be free to go home and smoke a pack of cigarettes with your toddler on your lap. That *is* my business. I *do* have the right to get involved in your business and invade your privacy.

Not only that, but I also have the right to tell you that you’re not allowed to harm *only yourself*. Even if you live alone and you smoke tobacco legally, I have the right to stop you from harming yourself. I judge you to be unfit to make your own decisions, because I no longer believe it’s possible for you to consent to harm yourself. Consenting to harm yourself is not possible. You have been tricked by the tobacco company and they have forced you to do what you are doing against your will, and you have lost the ability to make a rational decision. You have lost a part of your consciousness, through no fault of your own, and you are a victim of a greater power that is harming you. This greater power tricked you into thinking that ‘harming yourself’ equals ‘valuing individual freedom,’ and tricked you into thinking you’re violating your values if you allow a law to take away cigarettes from you.

Tobacco exists because it benefits universal slavery. Tobacco users are the best slaves. Tobacco companies are supporting slavery. That is their purpose, aside from profit. They make the slavery system run smoothly, with happy slaves triggering their dopamine receptors or whatever it is that tobacco does, so that these happy slaves will work much, much longer hours doing jobs they hate with people they hate, while artificially triggering pleasure in the brain to substitute for actual pleasure.

The slavery is mostly to the landowners, that is, the banks. I don’t know how the entire real estate system works, but it all comes from the banks, who are the default owners of all the physical land when all else fails. The government also owns the land, and I’m not sure who is the biggest owner, the primary owner, or the final default owner, the biggest controller who has the most power over it all. It depends on whether the banks control the government, or the government controls the banks.

Oh – the anti-vaccine incident. Just today, I got a notification telling me that VaxTruth had posted a comment on facebook, and I read it. It was all about how I have the freedom to make decisions for my own family, and no one can invade that freedom and tell me what to do. I agree about being anti-vaccine, but I distrust that particular writer, because their fundamental way of seeing things is different from my own. They could just as easily be on the opposite side of the argument saying exactly the same thing: I have the freedom to harm my baby by vaccinating it. You shouldn’t tell me not to harm my baby with a vaccine. I own my baby and I decide how to harm it.

I cannot use the argument of ‘I have the freedom to decide what to do to my own family’ as justification for anything anymore. If I am deciding that vaccines are wrong for my family, I’m just as sure that they’re wrong for everybody’s family, and they shouldn’t even exist. The potential to use a vacccine should not even be there. Take away that potential. That might possibly be my valuing of -Ne, negative potential, take away harmful potentials.

I don’t think I should have to waste my energy constantly making decisions about little detailed things like whether or not vaccines are safe. I think this is because I’m a perceiver and I don’t want to constantly use my judging functions 24 hours a day. Judgers don’t mind being forced to constantly judge things 24/7 because their brain defaults to that. A perceiver, on the other hand, doesn’t want to have to constantly make decisions. It wants to just LIVE. I want to just do the smooth process of living, without having to worry about ten million different things that have to be decided based on evidence. I want to walk down the street, upon which there is an absence of stores that sell liquor, stores that sell cigarettes, and stores that sell caffeine. Those stores just won’t be there. An absence of those stores selling those drugs mean that I don’t have to expend effort to constantly decide, and constantly resist, urges to buy addictive drugs. That urge is gone. Not a drop of energy is ever spent resisting it, so I have energy for other things, like enjoying life.

Imagine a metal ball rolling down a channel, along which there are magnets. Each time the ball passes a magnet, it’s drawn towards the magnet and it slows down. If you take away all those magnets along the channel, the ball rolls quickly and smoothly without any interruption. As I walk down the street, I am magnetically urged to walk into Starbucks and buy a coffee. It wastes my energy to fight against that magnetic pull. If I’m walking down an empty street devoid of Starbucks or any other coffee seller, I no longer spend even a single drop of energy fighting my caffeine addiction. Coffee must be removed from the entire system, everywhere, so that I cannot possibly get in my car or on the bus or walking on foot, to go any distance whatsoever, no matter how far, to get a cup of coffee. I must not be able to go 100 miles to get a cup of coffee.

But people who want this ‘freedom to choose’ thing, which, as a 43 year old draconian dictator and anti-libertarian that I am becoming, those people desire to spend every second of their day making tiny decisions and fighting tiny urges instead of smoothly rolling down the channel. They *like* fighting a hundred million tiny little battles every day. I don’t.

This is why I need an intentional community, which will grow and become large and take over a large area of territory that it controls economically and politically. we need the power to take away ‘freedom to choose’ those harmful things like tobacco and caffeine. Meanwhile, I *do* want ‘freedom to choose’ about things such as how I operate my own brain, which means the community must provide physical shields against electronic mind control. Apparently, there are large numbers of other people out there in the world who do *not* value the freedom to choose what you do inside your own brain.

The freedom to buy a harmful product that’s going to destroy your body is one thing. A lot of these people actually *value death*. They *like* thinking that people die when they use tobacco. They *don’t care* to try to figure out exactly which chemicals in the tobacco cause death, and try to remove those chemicals to make it safe.

But it’s much more than merely death that I object to. It’s how it affects all of your behavior. It’s how tobacco causes constant sexual arousal, so that people under the influence of tobacco are constantly horny and can be stalkers or commit acts of violence when rejected. I’ve experienced it. Tobacco directly causes sexual arousal, and is strongly connected to marital violence. Extremely violent countries, like India, where people throw acid in women’s faces (that’s not just India, it’s some other places, I forget) are also extremely heavy tobacco users. They also have turmeric, which is another cause of violence.

I’m not a libertarian anymore. Libertarians aren’t in my socionic quadra. All the books written by libertarians are not in the Delta quadra. They value things which I fundamentally do not value, and I’m gradually realizing this. It takes courage to realize it. They value profit over death. They value profit over sickness. Profit comes first, and ignore death and sickness. Death and sickness are perfectly fine, as long as we’re free to profit. They also don’t care about the fact that drugs are making you not be your true self. They don’t think a ‘true self’ exists or is important, but there is in fact a ‘true self’ which exists when all drugs are removed from the brain. The true self is *important*. Being your true self, and not being the self-on-drugs, is important. You are an altered self when you’re on drugs.

I’m going to just post this because I have some more stuff to do and this post is getting infinitely long. I have to buy shoes at walmart. That means I have to go wait for the bus.

I guess I’m just trying to explain that even the Libertarians are being ‘draconian dictators,’ just in a different way. They want a world where every second of my life is dictated by the landowers who want to sell tobacco and alcohol and caffeine to me. They think it’s perfectly fine to walk down the street and fight a constant, exhausting, neverending battle to resist these urges that waste my energy, resist these opportunities to buy something, an addictive drug, that makes me more able to pleasurably do my slave job without complaining, so that somebody else can become richer because I am a better employee. That’s draconian dictatorship to me, even though the libertarians see it as freedom. I don’t believe all that crap about ‘negative liberties’ and stuff anymore. It will take some explaining.

As usual, all my devices start malfunctioning after I go to the HUB

October 24, 2017

I went to the HUB at Penn State yesterday and was looking for credit cards to apply to so I could get a few thousand more dollars. As always, weird stuff starts to happen on my phone and computer after going there. Now I’m unable to send these blog posts, but still able to get other messages. It’s acting like it’s trying to download something over 4G when I have no data left and can’t connect. I also installed an app and might have to change a setting on it.

Grr, as I was saying – now my mind is preoccupied with why my phone won’t work instead of what I had been saying. Something about the plus and minus signs means “not wanting to be interrupted.” A plus sign means you’re focused on what you’re doing and it’s hard to pick it up again if you’re interrupted. The ISFP has -Te, which means they don’t mind being interrupted during productive action, work. But I have +Te and I find it greatly disturbing if I have to drop what I’m doing and go do some other task. There are limits on how much interruption any person can stand, but even so, the ISFP coworkers feel no dread at the thought of doing a work task knowing something will inevitably interrupt. I can only be productive if I’m absolutely certain that I will have all the time I need to get a task completely done without interruption, or I won’t do the task at all. Meanwhile, the ISFP with their +Si seem to feel that personal effort and focus are required while I feel that things should be so effortless they can be done with no focus. For them, if something doesn’t work, you have to “try harder” with your own mental focus, whereas for me, the goal is to place objects in specific locations (+Ti 8th function, I suspect, but possibly +Te 2nd function) so that their use and operation supports an effortless routine requiring the least energy or focus.

I’m still noticing that my messages aren’t sending, and I can’t notice anything but that.

Plus and minus signs, smooth routines done over and over again

October 24, 2017

I’m trying to define what it is the ISTP does. There are socionists over in Europe who are continuing to develop the theory. They gather data about things like the physical appearance of the body and its association with type. They have made things like the plus and minus signs to put more nuances on what the functions are doing. The EEG will also show me more, with specific brain regions and whole-brain patterns that Nardi observed.

Original research in English is necessary and important, but I’m not happy with what little I saw of Model G. It looks like useless babbling gibberish to me. So I want my own research, which will demonstrate its effectiveness at achieving its purposes – to type every person correctly the first time every time with no mistakes, using perhaps a small portable head scanning device that can be sold, which will work even for people with thick dreadlocks. The EEG things have to be stuck to the scalp, which can’t be done with dreadlocks.

But for now, I use existing models. I don’t know the name of it, but one model shows each type’s functions with either a plus or minus sign – not the “Hitta’s Chart” model with two elements in each box, just the regular one element per box, giving me -Si and +Te.

I’m different from my ISFP coworkers, who use +Si -Fe. They seem to see every day as unique, because of their plus sign. A minus sign means everything is generalized, global, vague, timeless, and summarized as a net result without any details of the process used. One person, the minus sign, just says “I got there,” and the other with the plus sign says, “First, before I even got in the car, I had to answer an unexpected phone call from my mom, and then my niece had to tie her shoe, and she wouldn’t get in the car because she wanted to watch TV…”

I differ from them in how I view ergonomic routines. A task must be so smooth and automatic that you can practically do it while sleeping & not make mistakes.

The messages aren’t sending, so this might get out of order

October 24, 2017

I’m having a phone glitch while trying to send my text messages. Testing something.

Phone isn’t sending text to email, but sends regular texts

October 24, 2017

2:25 PM 10/24/2017

I tried to send a bunch of stuff this morning from my phone but nothing went. Now the phone is doing updates again, and it changed the gmail interface. I’m so sick of those stupid gmail changes that I’m about to tell it never to update itself again, which is the reason why all my fucking computers get hacked, because morons who change the interface always ruin it and make it unusable, so I tell them to stop updating, and I use versions of microsoft from 1998 and stuff for fifteen years. I’m fairly sure that some sort of update is what’s stopping my texts from sending. It’s trying to load some huge 375 terabyte program over the 4G text messaging network when I don’t have any data or something idiotic like that.

I don’t feel like writing it all over again, either. I’m annoyed. I wrote stuff about the plus and minus signs in socionics.

Astronaut James Irwin interacted with imaginary friends on the moon

October 23, 2017

I was reading the book about lunar settlements and got sidetracked, because I learned about a couple of astronauts from Apollo 15 who got sick and had heart arrhythmias and later heart attacks. Jim Irwin had an ‘encounter with Jesus’ while he was on the moon.
http://blog.godreports.com/2011/03/encounter-with-jesus-on-the-moon-left-astronaut-changed/

He was trying to set something up for an experiment, but it wasn’t working, so he prayed, and he suddenly felt the presence of Jesus (or someone) giving him suggestions for what to do. So he fixed the experiment that he was making and it worked. He felt so sure that someone else was near him that he looked over his shoulder to see if anyone was standing behind him.

This answers one question about what sorts of electronic weapon attacks or telepathic simulations will occur on the moon – you don’t escape from them by going there, apparently.

The heart problems, they say, had something to do with lack of water and electrolytes because of a problem with his space suit. However, that shouldn’t have continued after he left the moon. Others speculated that dust inhalation on the moon might cause long term heart problems or something similar to the silicosis of the miners who died after digging the tunnel at Hawk’s Nest in West Virginia. Inhalation of particles causes heart problems for people in urban areas on earth as well.

I do not know the method by which the imaginary friends are able to interact with people who are walking on the moon. I only need to know what sorts of things happen. Isolated incidents such as the one described are nowhere near as harmful as a constant, nonstop background radiation that interferes with functioning all the time, like what I experience. Brief, isolated, helpful interactions like the one described are something that I experience too and I describe them as usually benign. It’s when I’m unable to think at all due to constant nonstop interference with particular kinds of thought processes – that’s the problem for me – that’s what I hope to escape from by going to other planets.

getting the money to buy the truck

October 23, 2017

I asked him if I could buy it using credit cards, and he said yes. When I had talked to the bank a while ago about how I might get a loan for the RV, I was rejected for any kind of loan except credit cards. So I’m applying for two more cards and that should be enough. I will have to purchase it with either three or four separate credit card transactions.

This is one of those situations where I don’t want all the help people are trying to give me. Anytime I mention to someone that I’m struggling to buy a car right now, they dump out a bunch of suggestions for a dozen things I ought to be doing instead of what I am doing. I ought to go to this particular dealer, etc.

Well , there are reasons why I’m trying to do it this way. This pickup truck guy is within walking distance of my home. That is the main reason. I trust him because I’ve interacted with him many times. He is not an ENFJ conflictor car salesman like the one I encountered when I tried to go to the Honda dealer a couple years ago. I was physically unable to listen to that guy and understand what the hell he was even talking about. Socionic conflict is much worse if you’re talking about an unfamiliar topic that you have absolutely no knowledge of whatsoever. He was telling me 10,000 what-if scenarios with regard to getting a loan and buying this vehicle. Then he never emailed me. We were totally unable to establish even the most minimal customer bond. I dreaded encountering more like him at other car dealers. The pickup truck guy is warm and compatible and friendly. Simply being able to communicate comfortably with someone is essential for trust and making the sale.

Yes, I could try to get a car loan someplace else, but why? Why is it so awful to use credit cards? Woe is me, the interest rate might be slightly better on a normal loan! This justifies going to all the hassle of renting a car so I can drive all over town to go to a dozen car dealers. The cost of renting a car destroys the savings.

Lunar Settlements – on google books

October 22, 2017

I found this: https://books.google.com/books?id=7R48j1RG-boC That link might not work because I erased some of it, but it’s a book called Lunar Settlements. I didn’t get to look at it yet. I saw it on my phone, and can’t really read a google book on the phone because of zooming and text size difficulties.

I was wrong about something. I thought that one side of the moon always faced the sun. There actually is a very long day and a long night. I was confused because one side of the moon always faces earth, which I suspect is because of magnetism. The moon is like an iron filing oriented in a magnetic field. It’s just my theory.

So the moon gets extremely cold at night, and the night lasts for a long time. This is the winter in which the soil will hibernate. The soil will be infused with water, lichen, fungi, algae, bacteria, and whatever other types of microbes are able to survive at the edge of Antarctica, at the edge of volcanoes, on new rocks anywhere, beside geysers, in places without oxygen underground, and other microbes in extreme environments. We’ll put some tardigrades there too.

Insects might survive. I know that when I was trying to kill the itch mites years ago, I read about fellow sufferers who said the mites could not be suffocated by putting blankets, etc in plastic bags for months, although in my experience plastic bags let stuff go straight through, such as water, so they probably let air in.

Bugs hibernate in the winter, and I know it because I’ve camped over the winter and I have seen insects flying around on a warm day in the middle of winter even if it had previously been snowing and freezing. They just wake up and fly again.

So the lunar soil must be mixed with small organic life. I’ll have to find out where the best minerals are on the moon, because they said the soil doesn’t have a lot of the minerals needed for life. The moon dust is staticky. It sticks to your suit, and then it grinds through with tiny sharp edges.

Yay, I saw my favorite customer

October 21, 2017

I’m working in the daytime right now. We said hi but it was too busy to talk. I want to hug him. I’m sure he’s some sort of SP type, like ESFP or ISFP. I cannot figure him out. He’s sweet and friendly to me.

Wimpy weaklings with no muscles feeling the constant burn of radiation

October 20, 2017

On the sunny side of the moon, even if you close the blinds to make it dark so you can sleep and have a circadian rhythm, you will still feel the burn of the constant background radiation of the sun. I feel that here on earth, which is one reason I like the nighttime. At night, the ions are different. On the sunny side of the moon, “the burn” never stops. Is it tolerable? I don’t know. Can you sleep in “the burn?” I don’t know. It’s hard to sleep in an apartment complex that has a hundred different wifi fields. That’s the burn. Electrosensitive people will feel it.

Do you get wimpy muscles in the lower gravity? That might be why the general public scorns the moon. I imagine you could design exercises, but yes, even while you sleep your body responds to the lower gravity. Your bones will be less dense, but it won’t matter unless you suddenly go to Earth.

What radiation is on the sunny side of the moon? Do they get any fields coming off Earth? What about the Van Allen belts or whatever? I know nothing about this. It’s mainstream science and could be easily found online, but I’m not online, I’m in the tent typing on my phone. The atmosphere on Earth ionizes differently on the sunny side of Earth. If the moon’s atmosphere is thin, there will also be fewer air ions. I know nothing about the radiation from space and from the sun, which is failing to be blocked by the thin atmosphere. This is what happens when you love all the natural sciences and are really good at them but you’re forced to drop out of college. I’m able to understand those things, but currently know nothing about them. I loved meteorology and all natural sciences.

Less gravity on the gentle on old people’s worn out hip and knee joints

October 19, 2017

Grandma and Grandpa can climb the stairs easily when there’s less gravity. Grandma doesn’t fall as hard when she gets a broken hip. Plenty of real, natural sunlight means lots of vitamin D, so actually, old people can be in good health. Water can be brought from earth if it’s too hard to drill to the core to find the subterranean ocean on the moon. We don’t even have to worry about air leaks if it’s really true that there’s a small, thin, low density breathable atmosphere.

It’s easier to live on the moon than it is to live in an underwater colony here on Earth (maybe). Although, the underwater and surface water colonies benefit from having edible seaweed and seafood everywhere. The water surface colony on earth must handle rogue waves without damage. I hate houses that can’t handle hurricanes, earthquakes, and tornadoes, so rogue waves are the dreaded enemy to the ocean surface colony.

The Earth ocean surface colony is also wonderful, easy, and affordable, but it has the problem of always being too close to other governments and lacking freedom. You have to constantly get permission from authorities to be allowed to exist.

Many mainstream people can imagine a water colony being harassed by nearby governments. But what does the mainstream public fear about the moon? Why isn’t the moon far enough away for them, for those people who refuse to speak out loud about such topics as radio frequency and sonic weapon attacks? If radio frequencies on the moon aren’t the mainstream public’s excuse for avoiding the moon, then what is the excuse?

How can it be perceived as old-fashioned to colonize the moon, when we haven’t even done it yet?

October 19, 2017

Am I catching someone in a lie or a contradiction? Does this rationale make sense? Why are all the hot, trendy, popular entrepreneurs aiming for Mars? Is the moon colony only something *old* people like to think about? The moon colony is SO 1950s!

But wait! How can that possibly be true! Think what you’re saying! It hasn’t even been done yet! Are you suggesting it *has* been done?

So what is the mainstream news telling us? The mainstream news tells us that a tiny handful of rugged entrepreneurs are making long-term plans to go to Mars. But alas! It will take many, many years to achieve these plans. And few people will go there. It’s cold, harsh, and depressing, and very far away. You have to be really dedicated to want to go to Mars.

Meanwhile, the moon! Go to Walmart, buy a couple pocket calculators and slide rules, and you’re there! Maybe an abacus while you’re at it!

Is the mainstream media hiding the moon for a reason? Can you think of any mainstream rationale for “Why not the moon before Mars?” Why is it perceived as less desirable, less trendy, less cool, less hardcore? Do men with small penises go to the moon or something? What’s the public perception of the moon colony?

Why am I not seeing this in the news every day, but meanwhile, I have to waste decades waiting for the independent entrepreneurs to take a few grim, committed, miserable people all the way to Mars? Grandma and grandpa can live on the moon! Why not?

I can see all the beautiful plants growing, with our sunpipes shining in the ceiling underground, our mossy floors, our gardens full of animals. It’s there, it’s real, it’s possible, it’s a pleasant and enjoyable life the same distance from the sun as Earth, it’s cheap, it’s totally doable.

More about colonies

October 19, 2017

The incentive is freedom. I have visions of what type of intentional community I’d like to build. It would be wonderful to live without land ownership, mortgages, and property taxes. We would have our own economy with no taxes. Our factories would produce high quality products instead of garbage.

Some disclosures: they say there are slave colonies and massive slave trade going on off the planet. So, clearly some people have interpreted “freedom” as “the freedom to own slaves.” That’s not what I would be doing. The people who probably are already colonizing a lot of places are people who have access to the greatest wealth, and those are the evil people who already control our planet.

If that’s who we’re up against, what better way to get mainstream disclosure than to inundate the moon with independent colony projects? It’s much easier than going to Mars. You’re so close to home, you don’t even have to say goodbye to your family and friends. In a short time you can be right back home again. It’s warm, not cold, so it would be a not unpleasant place to live. We could live on the horizon where the sun and the dark are just right, not a baking desert. Yet solar panels everywhere give us tons of energy.

We don’t need any high tech to go to the moon. POCKET CALCULATORS took us to the moon! We can live there using mainstream existing technology. Some disclosures have said the moon has breathable air on the surface, contrary to popular belief. What better way to get disclosure than thousands of gofundme projects to live on the moon? It’s cheaper, easier, and less scary than going to Mars. Seriously, it makes you ask, WHY, in the mainstream disclosed consciousness, why are we not flooding the moon with colonization attempts? What’s the rationale for putting all this focus on Mars and away from the moon? Is it because Mars is so hard to do, we’re guaranteed a long, long delay with lots of failures? Why not do something easy where quick success is guaranteed!

Colonies on the moon versus under Earth’s ocean

October 19, 2017

There are reasons why it would be good to colonize the hostile environments of Earth. The open places include the north and south poles, the top of the oceans, under the oceans, under the ground, the mountains and deserts, the atmosphere, and near space. In general, those are areas where nobody lives.

People do really live in polar regions using stone age technology, so it would be possible to live in the islands close to Antarctica if you had primitive boats to go fishing and whale hunting in. Whale hunting is sustainable when people use the whales for food, use all of the whale without wasting it, and use primitive tools instead of modern tools. Double layered fur, with one layer of fur facing inwards, is effective for extreme cold.

The incentive to colonize empty spaces – there are many good reasons to do it. We can get away from the landowners, so we live on unwanted land without paying money to be there.

Jacques Cousteau and later Fabien Cousteau spent 30 days living in an underwater station, but there are problems. The lack of sun is a problem. This is a problem in underground colonies too. In an underwater colony you’re at constant risk of leaking water. Underground, it’s cave-ins.

The moon is surprisingly a good place to live, but alien disclosure people are telling us that aliens have threatened us and told us not to go there, or that our own government is already there. I’d like to ignore those warnings and make a popular project to colonize the moon. Why are so many projects focused on Mars right now, and ignoring the moon?

On the moon, your solar panels collect energy nonstop forever, with no cloudy days, and no nights at all. You make an artificial night by blocking your windows for a set time each day. Water is buried deep inside the moon in huge volumes, but this fact is not well known. So we would drill to get water. The temperatures are hot on the sunny side of the moon, so we would bury the colony underground.

In the quiet of the night, it’s easier to think

October 18, 2017

Some of the crazy wailing has died down. I’m now looking over my options much more calmly. It’s quiet now in the night. The thoughts in my mind are much more calm, sane, and rational. I feel more confident that I will be able to do what I need to do. I have a few other options that I can consider for buying vehicles. I’m looking at one of those free magazines where they advertise cars. I also feel that I will be able to get $6000 if I choose this truck.

I need $6000 in cash to buy a truck

October 18, 2017

Suffice it to say, I have to get a motor vehicle. No alternatives. Nothing complicated. I’m still going to work on electric bikes, but I don’t have them NOW, and what I need now is a normal car for the normal road, and it needs to be able to tow my RV eventually. The truck rental guy is offering me one for $6000 in cash. I can’t get a loan, but I can use credit cards. I talked to the bank about this while trying to research how I would buy the RV. I haven’t been able to go to the UPS store and don’t know if I got checks in the mail. Dad said something was coming eventually but I don’t know how much or whether he’s just going to deposit it directly or what. No idea of the amount.