Archive for March, 2018

My blind, paralyzed, road-hit deer will not die of dehydration on this particular night

March 31, 2018
I found her as I drove home from work yesterday. With superhuman strength I lifted her myself into my truck bed, which is, like, shoulder height to me. I did not get help. I did not flag down another car. I alone lifted her. I do not know how. She was someone else’s hit, not mine, someone before me. She was lying in the right side of the road itself, about to be hit again. I dragged her to the shoulder of the road. Her back legs can’t move, and both eyes are white with blindness of unknown cause.

I spoke of her to Burt, a customer, a Lyft driver. He offered to finish her off because she must be in pain. He was genuinely very concerned for her pain. But I said no. I can’t explain it, but I have no horror of pain. Pain does not mean that life is over. Pain doesn’t mean it’s time to end. Pain doesn’t mean there’s no hope. So no! No one will shoot my deer tonight!

Tonight I tried again to give her water, and finally, she drank, a lot. Finally. It won’t be dehydration. Not yet. Whatever disease, whatever injury kills her, if it’s wasting disease then that will kill her slowly, but we will wait for that. She is my patient. We’re not shooting her.

This set off what seemed like a low sugar attack

March 30, 2018
I wasn’t so bad until I saw that he had a paycheck and that I had the potential to inform him about it. All of a sudden, the trauma triggered a very severe attack of my hands shaking and trembling helplessly, so I was uncoordinated and was fumbling things. I was shaking all the way inside my chest. I wolfed down some food and it went away, but it had been triggered by the emotion, combined with eleuthero withdrawal, as I last took it last night before bed, and it’s evening now. The shakes just wouldn’t go away. It’s like the trauma depleted the last of my resources. I’m still shaky, but much less after eating.

After I looked at his number, somebody was reminding me about it afterwards. I made no effort to memorize it, but was seeing, hearing, or feeling the number. It is temporary – when I wake up tomorrow the number will not be in my mind.

oh no, adrenaline rush, drug induced – I have a reason to text Matt

March 30, 2018
It’s triggered by a specific event, but it’s the eleuthero that makes it worse. The drugs can make emotions painfully intense. Matt has a paycheck to pick up, and I took it upon myself to be the person who informed him that his checks were here. 😦 I do have to text him for that. I will have to do some mindwipes if I accidentally start to memorize his number. I will tell him the check is here and then delete the number again.

I left the request off note

March 30, 2018
I tried to make it a request for a prolonged time off with the option to work again a few hours a week.

new food preservation technology, the stasis field

March 30, 2018
I can’t wait till they invent a food preservation stasis field that will keep food fresh forever. No more waste! You can eat a sandwich made in 1983. Your only concern is how much space it’s wasting on the shelf. But shrinking technology will make them take up a lot less space.

HOLY FUCKING ADS

March 30, 2018

I just looked at my blog on the mobile phone screen, which I never do. There are millions of gigantic fucking ads everywhere! Not just one dainty little ad! I didn’t know this! Jesus Christ!

eleuthero thoughts, pajamas on customers, delivery and assembly of our stasis box

March 30, 2018
A customer came in wearing soft flannel shorts that looked more like underwear or pajamas. The soft texture is what makes them seem that way. He wasn’t attractive, but it made me start imagining people coming in wearing those Halloween fuzzy pajamas with animal faces on the hoods, from Walmart. They’d be waiting outside carrying torches because they’re doing some kind of ritual. The stasis box gets delivered and we have to assemble it, but none of us have seen one before and we’re not sure how to get it working. Some people think you can just throw it together any old way and it will work. But everything has to be lined up right. There’s a piece they’re putting on backwards. We have to call tech support.

After we get the stasis boxes for both hot and cold food, we lose a huge amount of the work we have to do. Food starts getting made nonlocally in factories. We no longer can rely on the food industry for low level service jobs. Farmers also have lower sales after we get rid of 99% of waste and spoilage. Okay, maybe not 99%, but a lot. We become more aware of the fact that humans who are born deserve to exist even if they do not produce revenue. But land prices and rent continue to skyrocket. Nobody forgives us for failing to produce revenue in a wastefree world. They crack the whips and blame us for being worthless and lazy and stupid.

These microblogs are from work – I hate my job

March 30, 2018
Sometimes herbal drugs increase my hate of work. But I definitely, absolutely feel miserable if I’m not working with other Deltas here. I’m fairly sure Becca and Kelsey are Gammas. They expect us to actually do work and actually give a damn. I don’t like it when people expect me to give a damn about this place, although when Matthew did it was different. Matthew made me make a salad for the grab-no-cooler, and I did it for him personally, not for Minit Mart. But I just cannot give a damn. Maybe I can write that note tonight. Maybe, in between serving customers, I’ll write it on a paper from the printer in the office. I’ll do a rough draft.

quitting won’t be so hard to do

March 30, 2018
I definitely feel like quitting when I work with the non-Delta quadra people. I’m not 100% sure of Becca’s type though, but I’m not comfortable or open with her. I forget what I was saying…. I’m at work. I’m just very unhappy at work when my friends are gone. Should I get Matt’s number before I leave at the end of April?

Gmail problems; thinking about the one month notice to quit my job; eleuthero not helping much

March 30, 2018

I can somewhat write a blog in gmail now, although there are some issues. If a letter gets too long, gmail starts glitching. You try to move the insertion point to go correct a mistake, and every time you touch the screen, it suddenly scrolls all the way to the top of the screen by itself. Autocorrect also stops working and has to be restarted by pushing the middle button to go back to the home screen, then reopening gmail, which will sometimes put you back on the draft you were working on, and other times makes you go hunt down the draft in the drafts folder and click the edit button (I can’t remember what conditions cause it to do what).

Every time you have to click a button unnecessarily, it’s annoying, because it requires you to aim your thumb at an extremely small spot on the screen, and my thumbs tend to get sort of shaky or strained from typing a lot, so it’s not pleasant having to aim for small buttons. I have to readjust all the fingers’ grip on the phone to reach a long distance upwards to the top of the screen when my fingers have been positioned so that I can type on the keyboard. Reaching up high while aiming for a tiny point is a strain. There is something painful about that upward motion, something in the tendons.

Gmail used to have a checkbox, in a previous version, where you could delete quoted text in a reply. They took that away and replaced it with an ellipsis, which you have to press and hold for a second, and then press another series of buttons to delete the quoted text. I can’t remember, let me go do it – be right back.

Okay, I knew there was something annoying about the ellipsis. If you accidentally touch and release the ellipsis, the quoted text you’re replying to will all appear in the email. If you don’t want that, you have to press on a word to highlight it, go to the top of the screen for editing options, click select all (a meaningless, wordless symbol of a dotted line around a square – I hate nonverbal symbol buttons), and then hit backspace to delete it all. It’s easy to accidentally click and release this stupid, meaningless ellipsis button, when you can’t remember if you’re supposed to click and hold, or click and release, when you want to delete the text. The old checkbox was a million times easier, no secrets, no mistakes, no guessing, but some software designer had to say "I changed something random that wasn’t broken in gmail in the new update, so I’m doing my job. Give me $10,000."

So my blogs will still be slightly shorter than they are on the laptop, when the glitches become impossible to deal with as autocorrect fails, the screen scrolls up as I try to fix the mistakes, and I can’t even put the insertion point where it has to go.

Okay! I’m going to try to continue. I don’t have to post this as one short blog, so it can have more than one subject. What was the other thing I wanted to talk about?

I need to write a note to my manager to tell her that I will be leaving my job. I wanted to give a one month notice. Bit whenever I try to think about this, in get attacked. They are very strongly pressuring me to just do this, quit a month from now, without thinking at all about what I’m going to do after that.

There should be no secret plans and no attacks. I shouldn’t be prevented from trying to think about it. This pressure that they’re putting on me to just obey, do what I’m told, when so many previous horrible things have happened before as a result of simply doing what they force me to do under the influence of drugs, it makes me very distrusting – what are they planning to do that’s going to ruin my life and destroy $10,000? Here they are again telling me to just obey them and preventing me from thinking for myself at all.

It would be so easy to just quit my job, even on this one month notice, and then fritter away $10,000 like nothing over a few weeks or a couple months, doing nothing but random scattered unsustainable manic projects. Let’s buy $300 worth of healthy food, then throw it away because it spoiled when I never got around to making it. Let’s buy a stone bead grinding machine and make our own semiprecious stone beads so I know they haven’t been dyed. Couple thousand bucks gone in an instant, but no real improvement in my life in the long run. Let’s go on a road trip for fun and waste thousands in gasoline (although the car repair shop said I will get better gas mileage now because they replaced the tires, which, for some reason, were five sizes too large. It already feels much "lighter" while driving it now, so I believe that will help.).

I can think of millions of ways to instantly hemorrhage every penny of that money as soon as I stop earning an income. How am I to know that it’s safe to just quit the job? I know from past experience all the things that go wrong.

And on the other hand, I have so much stuff that legitimately needs to be done, that I feel like I definitely have to take a lot of time off to do them. I have to get some stuff from the house at WV and put it in storage. I have to decontaminate the things that are in storage now. I have to fix the plumbing in my trailer so I can use the shower and sinks at home. I have to clean up all the fallen pine branches from the tropical Norfolk Island pine tree that was instantly killed in my below freezing house because I had expected to have the heater on all winter back when I bought that tree. I have to unpack everything and put it somewhere. I have to avoid the ephedra contaminated carpet,.which is mild compared to former contaminations, but still too contaminated for me to go barefoot on it. I miss the wonderful luxury of going barefoot. I absolutely have to put socks on every single time I get out of bed, or else I’ll get ephedra on my feet, have heart palpitations a few minutes later after it crosses the skin barrier, feel my sinuses dry out, and then become hopelessly and totally unable to sleep. I have small amounts of ephedra in the bed itself, enough to cause constant stress, but not enough to cause severe insomnia. This all has to be cleaned up while I will also be opening up a lot more of it in the storage unit.

So I need enormous amounts of time, in warm weather, merely to make the house livable and help Dad get his house ready to be sold. Merely making my house livable could destroy $10,000. And I wouldn’t have a permanent skill or certification to permanently increase my income from my job. I also wouldn’t have the joy of learning.

Eleuthero isn’t helping a lot – it just makes me sleepy. I’ll test the other ginseng again and compare it. I’m very much drinking coffee at work, more and more every day, and I now have a jug of watercoffee at home. The sleepiness was terrible yesterday at work. I took eleuthero at bedtime last night hoping it wouldn’t make me so sleepy at work today. I’m not seeing major benefits from it. It could also vary from batch to batch. I’m still sleepy now in spite of drinking watercoffee and I’m actually feeling like I need s nap before work. I work at 3 today, so this won’t be easy, as it’s 12:43 now. I’ll lie down and close my eyes after I send this.

There may be typos. I’m just gonna send this as is.

I forgot how skinny Becca is

March 29, 2018
Grr. She’s tiny. I hadn’t seen her in a while. Matthew worked with her and made her “have a meltdown” a couple times. She would be his lookalike relation, I’m fairly sure – ESFP to ENFP – but I could be wrong. There is often a fairly decent attraction with those.

How come my phone is leaking mobile data?

March 28, 2018

I’m here at home receiving gmails coming in by themselves, even though I tried to block every single way that mobile data could go through. Am I suddenly able to send gmails now?

Am I supposed to go on a road trip to Idaho?

March 28, 2018
I heard voices a few days ago saying they would wait until after I got the truck cleaned out. Beastie is at the shop right now. He had to stay overnight to get a few more repairs beyond just an oil change. Then tonight I got a call from Jesse, drunk and crying. He’s having a lot of problems, and he’s very homesick. He did have a baby, and the baby is okay so far.

He’s having money problems and is in debt. His girlfriend’s stepfather came over to help them move their belongings to the stepdad’s house in Washington state. Well, Kyndle (the girlfriend, who has had a few conversations with me and we are on good terms) said that Jesse was okay if he only had one beer, but the stepdad bought him and their friends a whole bunch of beer even though he was told not to. She said when he gets drunk, it’s like a truth serum, and he says things that shouldn’t be said to people. He said some things to the stepdad, who somehow ended up driving away with a moving van full of their stuff to Washington, without them.

So he was crying and he called me, regretting everything, grieving, drunk, homesick, wishing he’d never gone to the army, wishing he’d listened to me. Terrible regret. And he’s torn in two, missing home in Pennsylvania, not wanting to leave his new baby and fiance.

He got off the phone and I didn’t know what he would do. Kyndle said he told her he needed to take a break for a while from being with her, and then cut himself in the bathroom. So they went to the hospital. He has also been on some kind of psych meds the last few times I’ve seen him.

I did always say I wanted to go visit him in the army in Washington. I’m able to now. It would give me an excuse to get out of town.

Right now they’re at a hospital and she said he’s getting “coban,” whatever that is, and fluids.

Maybe your zodiac sign is from the season of the year in which you were conceived, in a particular hemisphere, and personality is relevant to season

March 28, 2018
I don’t recall the order of the zodiac signs. I’m Virgo. The feel of someone can vary greatly between members of the same socionic type. I’m attracted to exactly who I’m “supposed” to like, a Taurus-like person, love at first sight, but I don’t know if Matt is Taurus. Why would conception on Dec 21 make me behave like a Virgo? The prevailing attitude is preparing for winter, storing food, counting the number of months the stored food will last. Leo, the month before, perhaps is an aggressive hunter? Rachael – wasn’t she a Cancer? I’m supposed to get along great with Cancer but it specifically said “all we do is talk, talk, talk.” Or, what was she? Have I forgotten? I can’t recall her birthday. Maybe I’ll ask her mom on facebook. If you’re premature, your conception date should determine your sign.

I need a walking stick again, as I’m thinking about cougars

March 28, 2018

When I lived on Mt. Nittany, I carried a walking stick because I was scared of lions and bears. I once heard a cat growl in the middle of the night as it caught some small animal that squealed, and the growl sounded exactly like the Nittany Lion roar they play on the radio. I was in the tent and I froze and stayed perfectly still not moving a muscle for like an hour. I smelled fear or else I felt an
electromagnetic field. There was *something* that I *felt* with my body, some instinct of absolute terror, the greatest terror I have ever felt. I smelled the adrenaline released by the two animals, the hunter and prey. I felt the electricity in the air.

Today I started seeing a facebook page with reports of cougars, and I had forgotten that I had ever joined that facebook page. I’m getting home from work late at night. The wild animals are hungry. They have starved all winter. They are active again.

I need, first of all, a long, strong stick. Or two. I’ll carry them to and from the car. I love having a walking stick anyway. It’s like the only legal weapon. On Mt. Nittany, I had two knives duct-taped to the end of the bear stick. It turned out the bears were so evasive they never came near me, and I saw a good number of bears, including a baby one with a radio collar (ugh, horrible! evil) that came up to the door of my tent and looked in the screen window at me, then ran away as soon as I sat up to look back at it.

Bears aren’t the problem. I was terrified when I encountered that first one on the trail on Mt. Nittany, but it totally ignored me. It was busy ‘bushwhacking.’ I could hear it walking along, as noisy as a train, going whoosh-whoosh-WHACK! (pause), whoosh-whooosh-WHACK! When I heard this sound I thought a man was walking in the woods using a weedeater. The bear must have been repeatedly digging into the ground with its claws to look for food. I could have heard it a mile away. The sound was harmless, even comforting and reassuring – I was so sure it was just some guy walking around in the woods with a weedeater. It gave me no fear at all until I actually saw the bear, and then I RAN LIKE HELL.

Even a bobcat could be dangerous. Some of them get pretty huge. Whatever I heard that growled like the Nittany Lion and triggered the primal fear in me in the tent, whatever it was, even if it was a bobcat – it doesn’t matter. If it made me feel that way, it was dangerous.

The other night I heard a rustling sound in the woods after I got out of my truck, and I instinctively turned toward it and growled. I was afraid, partly because I had just had a bunch of caffeine and my adrenaline was rushing more than usual. That was one of the first days I drank coffee again. I have to park my truck close to the woods because the ground is all soggy close to the camper, and they told me not to park in it – it’s like a swamp with deep tire tracks in it from Beastie.

If I only had a long, strong stick in my hand, it would be better than nothing. Just a stick can keep something away long enough for me to get to the house or get back into the truck. It doesn’t have to kill it. I’d prefer not to kill something if it weren’t necessary.

Sticks have to not be rotten. I have not explored the woods enough to know which trees are dropping sticks that don’t rot. I don’t know enough about tree identification, so I can only find it out by looking around for good quality sticks. Some types of wood don’t rot. It has to be strong enough to withstand the pressure of poking a heavy body and bending. The knives on the end of my old stick – horrifying, but if it were necessary I could have used them, but I don’t want to have to. I’ll start with a regular stick, nothing more. A walking stick is an essential item for life – how can anyone go anywhere without one?

My former coworker Kat is pregnant – I can’t stand this

March 28, 2018

12:59 PM 3/28/2018

I can’t even express how I feel. I’m at Wegman’s right now, waiting for my truck to get fixed. I’m having the oil changed and a few minor things fixed.

While walking around, I saw Kat, my old coworker from Kaarma restaurant. She has been dating Carlos for a while. I thought that was odd because I was *fairly* sure it was a socionic supervision (Kat = probably INTP, Carlos = probably ESTJ). This is one of those very odd couples: she’s Russian and she’s about seven feet tall and skinny, and he’s Guatemalan, about five feet tall. However, I myself have spent some time with two different Guatemalans as well and I understand how wonderful they are. You can’t help loving them when you’ve spent months working around them in the kitchen.

I just went to the bathroom – I’m waiting here for hours using the wifi – and Kat was in the bathroom crying. I asked her what was wrong, and she said she was just having hormonal problems because she was pregnant. It’s been a while since I talked to her, so I didn’t know what was going on, so I asked her who the father was, and she said it was Carlos.

I have very intense emotional reactions to this. I’m extremely happy for her. She’s had trouble getting pregnant before. So it’s wonderful that she’s pregnant. I love it when *anyone* gets pregnant.

I’m also… unable to express how I feel – I’m so jealous, I failed to get pregnant when I was with Agustin, after trying twice and then having him separate from me. As always, I’m the loser. I don’t want to be with Agustin again – I want to have true love, but that’s preventing me from getting pregnant – I could have gotten pregnant a million times right now if I tolerated less loving relationships.

It’s just so wrong, so horrible, so unfair – she’s pregnant and I’m not. I don’t want anything to happen to her and I wish the best for her, I’m really happy for her – but here I am, losing everything, all the time, falling in love with Matthew and losing him, never finding my soulmate anywhere in *any* race or country or ethnic group – here I am, not getting pregnant, once again, while someone else does!

I’m glad I got rid of Matthew’s phone number so that I can’t keep texting him. It would be terrible right now if I were. I would have sent him hundreds of unanswered messages by now. The more you send, the worse it gets – it’s like procrastinating on your homework assignments for months. You failed to answer the first, then the second letter, and you still feel like you have to answer whatever was in those, but there are ten thousand new ones that are all also unanswered by now, so there’s just no hope. I have only sent Matthew *TWO* unanswered text messages, so there’s still a chance that he could decide he wants to answer whatever I said in those. Or not – it’s very likely he will just ignore me forever, but at least I won’t have made it ten million times worse.

But here she is, someone else is pregnant, someone else is this lucky – whether it’s the right kind of relationship or not, somehow they are getting along. She gets to experience pregnancy. I experienced pregnancy for about a week before it died, and it was the most wonderful, amazing thing I had ever experienced in my life. Pregnancy is the only thing I was made for. It is my reason for living. I should have started getting pregnant decades ago, but still, back then, I had no soulmate, just relationships that had some kind of problem or another, all this time, all these decades, no soulmate.

I want my child to be a soulchild, too. I feel that it would be very hard for me to raise a child who I was less compatible with. I have to love my child as much as I love my soulmate.

It’s like I’ve been stabbed in the heart, again. Reminded again about how everyone else’s life is luckier than mine, in all the ways that matter. The ‘gods’ have smiled upon her and frowned upon me. Yes, I did just get a small amount of money which I intend to use for school, and that’s a very lucky thing and I appreciate it. But pregnancy – whether I had money or not, if I were starving, if I had nothing, if I were homeless, nothing matters, I would want to be pregnant anyway, no matter how I would have to live – that’s as long as it was with my love, not just some random guy, and not a mediocre relationship or a troubled relationship with problems.

She’s having hormone problems, crying because she’s pregnant – I experienced it… for a couple days, then… death. I don’t know what exactly killed the baby. I don’t know. I’ve thought of a couple different things that could have done it. It seemed to die on the day when I ate the cream cheese in the sushi, and they say not to eat soft cheese – I do *not* just dismiss these things as myths. It was factory farm cream cheese, so it probably did contain a lot of germs. I also ate ginger to stop myself from vomiting that day – I was starting to get pregnancy sickness, but I’m phobic of vomiting, so I ate ginger and prevented it – but maybe, if I had vomited, I wouldn’t have poisoned the baby and it wouldn’t have died.

Or my eggs weren’t healthy, because of months and months of
malnourishment and excessive caffeine. I’m drinking coffee again now, and using Siberian Ginseng – who cares! It’s over, no Matthew, no love, and probably an entire year before ‘they’ manipulate another dual to cross my path. A whole year wasted waiting for somebody to do something that is outside of my control. So who cares if the coffee and ginseng kill my developing eggs. Nobody is going to use those eggs.

I just *can’t* make love with a man who I don’t really love, and get pregnant. The thought of it is unbearable. It’s disgusting, like being raped. I wouldn’t say it was ‘disgusting’ to be with Agustin, but at the same time, I knew his baby would have some frustrations and problems with me.

I could have been the one crying and having weird hormonal experiences and struggling through the work day and running into the bathroom. How would I deal with vomiting at work? I really did start to get ready to vomit after only a few days of pregnancy before the death.

No love, no pregnancy…. it kills me, it kills me, but I just can’t. I can’t do it with someone I don’t love. I can’t just make a generic baby from a generic random human. It has to be somebody who I want to see more of on this earth. I want to see a million copies of this person because he’s so special. The world doesn’t have enough of him, so I will make the copies. It’s the best way to make the world a better place, fill it with lots of people you love.

excessive energy, a busy day

March 28, 2018
Well, I have had several cups of coffee, and the one Asian ginseng pill earlier. The ginseng gives me an unpleasant feeling, so I have no desire to take a lot of it. I bought eleuthero and will test it to see whether I like it better. I picked up my packages of grass seeds at the UPS store. Then I went to see “Paul, Apostle of Christ,” which was extremely good even though I’m not Christian. Then I saw “Getting Grace,” which wasn’t as good. Paul’s theater was very full; Grace’s had only a few people. Grace was a Manic Pixie Dream Girl, ESFP, inspiring everyone around her to live life to the fullest as she died of cancer. The undertaker guy was the dual, INTP. The mother was also ESFP. I just didn’t get into the movie, wasn’t emotionally moved much, barely cried, and found her so annoying that I couldn’t enjoy spending hours watching her. I was raptly attentive through every second of the Paul movie though. But I won’t necessarily go see it ten times.

I hung around at Sheetz using the wifi for a while, and then came home and planted a few grass seeds. I don’t have much. If it grows, I will be so excited that I will order a few more tons of it. I flung a few pinches into the horse paddocks. It’s hopeless, but it will please me if it sprouts at all there. It will be destroyed too quickly to take root. Even though it’s a tough, wild, Native American grass meant for the Pennsylvania climate, it isn’t all-powerful.

Then, I tried to burn some Honey Locust tree seeds in a candle flame. I probably destroyed them, but it was worth a try. Their shells must be removed, usually when animals eat them. I don’t have vinegar right now, or I’d just soak them in vinegar. I might do another batch with vinegar. There are infinite amounts of seeds lying around in a parking lot at the UPS store.

I also planted some “normal” domesticated garden seeds, like squash and lettuce and asparagus. That was a few days ago. I love so much to watch seeds grow. I want more native plants.

If there’s one thing we all love about over-the-counter herbal drugs, it’s the selfies

March 27, 2018

I forgot about my tendency to take photos while I’m on herbal drugs. This is an unflattering potatohead angle shot, with my hair braided, but it shows the magical necklace. I need to remake this necklace. I have more beads now. I made a few mistakes with this one. This was the first. It’s Tuesday and movies are half price, so tonight is movie night after I get the grass seeds and eleuthero. I don’t know whether eleuthero will be that different from Asian ginseng or not. It would be nice if it didn’t make me angry and hate-filled. Hate-filled rants are drugged behavior, whether it’s coffee, ginseng, or anything else.

I made the appointment o change the oil. “Getting stuff done” is the desired drug-induced behavior I am seeking.

The broken window fallacy is not merely a fallacy, it’s an entire business strategy and it’s very real

March 27, 2018
Some people might think that because the “Broken Window Fallacy” is a fallacy, that means it doesn’t exist at all except in somebody’s imagination. But it totally exists and it is the business strategy for many huge corporations. Destroy something, then make more profits when people pay you to fix it or replace it. Our entire smartphone business runs that way. Make them so slippery and smooth they slide out of your pocket and shatter on the ground the first day you buy them, and don’t put any kind of clasps or clips or strings on them so they can be easily hooked to a belt loop or something. User error! Your fault! Buy a new one or get it repaired. Nothing but *constant vigilance* can protect you from having this happen. Collaborate with the clothing industry and make women’s pants pockets really shallow. (You can’t do stupid stuff to men’s clothing though.) Warren Farrell said women have more disposable income to buy clothes. So that’s one reason why women’s clothes are insane. They’re expected to buy new clothes every week.

Waste and destroy as much as possible, and another branch of our corporation, or a company we own, or a friend of a friend, will profit by fixing it. Hey, somebody’s profiting! Why should we care about waste?

Freezable, breakable water pipes exist for the purpose of making us dependent on other monopolies

March 27, 2018
We, the consumers, get blamed for “user error” if we “allow” the pipes to freeze. We’re the ones who are being irresponsible if that happens. We have to take responsibility for preventing pipes from freezing by having the heat cranked way up all winter long. That’s the only recourse we have! Most places don’t even use primitive methods like insulating the pipes or putting them into a part of the building where they won’t be exposed to cold, like in the heart of the building. Nope! Just put those fuckers right around the sides of the building where they’ll get the coldest!

You should never have the slightest fear that a water pipe will break even in Antarctica. They should be made of material that won’t break, or methods should be used to make it impossible for them to ever freeze under any circumstances, even if you’re not using other monopoly utilities like heating oil, propane, or electricity.

My water pipes in the RV are still broken and can’t be used yet. I haven’t showered in days. I might go to the YMCA to shower if the pipes aren’t fixed today or early tomorrow. All because some fucking imbeciles camped in the cottages and left the doors wide open so that the magical fairies could take care of everything and the magical fairies could provide infinite heat to the outdoors. Who cares! They’ll never see me again! By the time they notice, I’ll be gone! I hate retarded assholes ruining it for everyone.

I also took two ibuprofens. I just need to comb my hair, put clothes on, make a phone call so I can change the oil in the truck, and go get eleuthero, and get my package of native warm season clump grass seeds at the UPS Store.