Archive for December, 2012

A quiet mumble of ‘happy new year.’

December 31, 2012

7:22 PM 12/31/2012

I’m sitting in a laundromat a couple doors down from Starbucks, one of the few businesses in town that is open right now. I got a chai tea latte earlier tonight, and just now I got a caffe misto and a very berry coffee cake.

I’m noticing that tea makes me quite cheerful and happy. I have been drinking tea more often, but it doesn’t always have this effect – it’s intermittent and not guaranteed to happen. I remember this feeling from childhood, too. I suspect that every moment of cheerful happiness and euphoria in my childhood was probably enhanced by tea. I say that because, as a child, I noticed that I would have intermittent, unexplained good moods, and I never knew what caused them. We used to have a pitcher of iced tea in the fridge. I just stopped drinking tea and never drank it again for a very, very long time, for no particular reason. I started drinking coffee, but not tea. So, in recent years, every time I’ve tried tea again, I’ve noticed this joyful, happy euphoria again. Tea seems to hurt my teeth more, and I suspect it might cause cavities more than coffee does, for me.

While drinking my tea, I walked around the town. It’s First Night. I don’t celebrate a lot of holidays, but I don’t mind New Year. I’m also able to tolerate Christmas as long as I am not forced to hear endless Christmas music on the radio – if I can avoid that, then Christmas is more tolerable. The Christmas music is *horrible*, although I have one or two favorite songs that I would enjoy hearing at any time of year, not just Christmas (such as a song called ‘Snow,’ and I don’t know if I can find it again on google easily, because there are a thousand songs called ‘Snow.’ Oops, okay, actually, it’s the very first result if you google ‘snow the song’ without quotes. Oh well: “Snow – It won’t be long before we’ll all be there with snow/ Snow – I want to wash my hands, my face and hair with snow,” etc, etc.) And as long as I am not getting a bunch of gifts (or cards), or being expected to give them, then I am okay with Christmas.

New Year makes sense to me. I care about the winter solstice. I like it when the days get longer. A long time ago, someone sat there and watched the days get longer, without using any scientific instruments, without using any clocks. All you have to do is sit on exactly the same rock, in exactly the same place, and look at the sky, and notice what objects the sun is ‘touching’ as it rises and sets. You can see that it ‘touches’ a particular spot on the mountain, or a tree branch. And if you do this every day, you will see that the sun goes down to a particular point, and then starts to go back up again. I know it because at McDonald’s, when I’m working in the drive-thru, the sun shines in the window and makes it hard to see the computer screen, but only at certain times of year, and then it gradually passes away from that angle. So I am aware of the new sun, and I feel happy at the thought that the sun will return and the darkness will go away.

I tried to go to the particular UPS Store where I get my mail, but it was closed. On the way there, I saw a New Year’s Parade with drummers. I smiled at them as they walked by. I am always shy whenever big happy festivals are going on, and cannot join in with the crowd easily. I grinned at one particular guy in the parade who I recognized, an old man, just someone I’ve seen around town. I always feel like I have to know people in order to express myself and have fun at a celebration – I can’t do it with strangers as easily. Even if someone is familiar to me, I’m still shy. That same guy was walking by me on the sidewalk later, wearing these glowing flashing red lights all over his body, with some kind of red glowing staff in his hand, and he shouted, ‘HAPP-Y NEW YEAR!’ and I grinned, looked at the ground, and mumbled ‘happy new year’ in a much lower, deeper, quieter, less projecting voice. It was involuntary. I was just not able to make myself shout, at that moment.

I have my shyness, mixed with a desire to join in. I need to feel part of the community. But I have never felt like I was part of the community in State College, PA. I felt closer to the community when I lived in West Virginia, where total strangers will talk to you as though they’ve known you all their lives – people are trusting there. When I get my cleanup projects done, when I get things stabilized, I would like to find a better place to live, better for me.

I walked around the park with the crowds of people. I had a feeling of peace and cheerfulness. I was alone, and I am always lonely, but I very much enjoy being in large crowds of people walking around celebrating a holiday or going to some kind of event. I have always felt that need to go out and walk with the crowd of people, even though I have also always been a loner, for many many years.

At the park, the little tiny park in the middle of town, they always have some things going on, people selling food, bells you can ring, fires in barrels, and more ice sculptures. I walked around, but didn’t ring the bell. I didn’t like the loud noise – it was sort of startling. I didn’t want to disturb other people by ringing the bell… but yet, I had the urge to do it. I walked around the circle, came back up, and was about to leave, but decided that I had to ring the bell just once. I thought, if I don’t ring the bell, then my life will stagnate, and it will remain trapped in the old year. I can play along with superstitions and enjoy them. So I must ring the bell to set myself free from last year, and move ahead in my life. I walked up to one of the bells and gave it a good hard loud ring, and immediately felt embarrassed as though I had accidentally rung the bell more loudly than anyone else had, like, everyone else could do it, but when I did it, it was wrong. Like people would say, ‘Oh my gosh, *YOU* rang the bell,’ in a disdainful way. But then the feeling passed, and I was satisfied that I had done it, and felt like I was part of the community for a fraction of a second, not long. I walked away then.

This is why I am so interested in intentional communities. I feel a genuine, legitimate need to feel as though I am part of a community, but I am also very uncomfortable about it. I need to know that I will be accepted and that there are people in the community who care about me and are my friends. But I don’t like Penn State, and I don’t like football, and football is the center, the heart, of this community. It’s unavoidable. If you don’t like Penn State football, then it’s impossible for you to be ‘in.’ You have to find some other type of group or community, but it will be some kind of niche group, and not the overall general main community.

I have had that feeling for a long time, that I was an outsider, almost everywhere I went, that I was not included in the community, not really, but that I felt a need to be included, somehow. I just want to be included in a place where I share some of the same values as the people around me. I don’t want to be included with people who value football.

There was a chalkboard where you could write down your ‘bucket list.’ It was similar to making a New Year’s Resolution, except that it said it was something you wanted to do before you die, not just something you wanted to do this year. I read some of the other people’s entries – some of them were funny and crude (‘Eat a baby’). I picked up the chalk and I wrote ‘Write a song.’ I have written unfinished song fragments in the past, and I will write more songs in the future. I don’t have the software on my computer to do it right now. I will do it again. I will not feel finished until I have written at least one complete song.

I have made progress this year. It was very difficult, and very very slow. I moved out of my apartment and began living in the tent, and got rid of my car. I have been getting rid of all the contaminated things that I was having reactions to, and I’m almost done with that, but have unfortunately stalled. However, I am certain that I will finish, because I have already done so much so far, and nothing will stop me. I am going to get out of this hell, and it will happen very soon. It has been much slower than I would have wanted, but yet, it is happening.

I’m going to try to do some laundry now, while I’m here.

Nose jobs: using surgery to artificially mimic a modern facial deformity

December 29, 2012

I was looking at those garbage news pages, where every single article has a title in the general format of ‘Top 10 Things You Didn’t Know About X,’ or whatever – every article is a list of things, and every article title has a number in it. I was looking at pictures of nose jobs. Weston Price found that in modern cultures where people commonly have facial deformities, noses become too narrow to breathe properly, forcing people to be mouth breathers. They can’t breathe through their narrow nasal passages, and have problems with snoring and apnea. Narrow noses are a deformity, a defect. And yet celebrities are spending millions of dollars to make their noses look like this deformity.

It’s similar to something I read elsewhere: Asians envy the white people with their narrow faces, since Asians more often have broad faces. Broad faces are, once again, the ‘real’ way we are supposed to be, and narrow faces are a deformity, a defect, a failure to develop. The bone deformities happen when the stem cells die during development, from starving to death or being poisoned, basically – that’s making a long story short and oversimplified. But the face and body were growing, and they stop growing and can never finish growing, due to lack of nutrients or the presence of a poison which causes the stem cells to stop growing. Deformed people have ‘unfinished’ faces and bodies. And yet people are envying these narrow noses that function poorly, and narrow faces with their small jaws and tiny mouths that don’t have enough room for all the teeth.

This is insane. I hate this culture that brainwashes people to do these things.

I’m feeling pessimistic about this decon. Will it take months, again?

December 29, 2012

8:03 PM 12/29/2012

I am starting to worry that it might be months before I finish doing this decon. It’s going to be hard to do things when it’s been snowing. However, one reason I did nothing this week was because it’s also hard to do anything when a lot of businesses are closed and when the buses are not really running.

I’m just worried because I’m scared that I will start doing stupid crazy things from the mania which is still affecting me. And no, I don’t do things that are physically dangerous, just things that are socially embarrassing. I really, really want to finish this cleanup project and then quit caffeine again, so that I will become non-verbose.

I tried to go to the post office, but unfortunately I tried it on the day when we got the snowstorm, and they closed early that evening because of it. I haven’t gone to pick up the mail in, like, months, and Mom sent me a Christmas check, and I’m also expecting checks from the bank, as in, my own blank checks which I ordered. Every little errand that I have to run is a big deal. It’s harder because I’m riding a bike.

And don’t get me wrong, I have reasons why I don’t have a car anymore, and I still need to be riding a bike until this is over, this decontamination. I could theoretically get a car, or not, in the future, again, but I could continue living this way also. I could do an electric bike too, or a gas powered bike, and I never settled on which one I would get. I would prefer to do something like that rather than a car. It’s much cheaper. That is most likely what I would do, not a car. I don’t want to go thousands of dollars in debt. Anyway, I have to save energy, and it takes energy to ride my bike on errands, so I can’t do it if I’m not feeling well.

I am trying to find forums that express the essence of what I am interested in talking about and doing. I don’t really call myself a ‘survivalist,’ but I have a lot in common with survivalists. Partly from reading Julian Simon, I don’t expect that disaster predictions will come true, although it is necessarily true that disasters do happen sometimes, for real. But I am mostly focused on preparing for a very long term future, as in millennia. That is not the same as preparing for a disaster. I want to make something that will last beyond my lifetime, for a long time. Or at least, I do now, while I’m manic – which is another reason why I can’t start any projects while manic: the projects are too grandiose. I have to postpone everything until the decon is over, and then, my mania will be reduced, and my projects will be smaller and more realistic.

reading scary stories

December 29, 2012

I love this thread:, Creepy stories from the outdoors. I have that feeling that I’m sitting around a fire with a group of people getting scared.

faceplant in the snow!

December 29, 2012

1:20 PM 12/29/2012

This morning it snowed some more. Mt. Nittany Road hadn’t been plowed. I had no plan for how I was going to get to work. When I talk to my mom on the phone, she keeps asking me if I have a ‘backup plan,’ and the answer is yes, kind of, vaguely. The backup plan is something like, ‘Wing it.’ If all else fails, just wing it. She worries about how I’m going to get to work if it snows. Today was a day when this was actually an issue. I had to burn a couple calories of brain glucose to make a decision. The decision was ‘wing it.’

So I got on my bike and started riding down the unplowed mountain. It was kind of fun. We had several inches of snow. I tried riding in the line made by some other car’s wheel. I was doing great and picking up speed. It was still relatively flat, and I wasn’t going down the steep part of the hill yet.

The neighbor guy Dave was outside. He always talks to me. I called out ‘Hiiiii!’ cheerfully and waved at him as I rode by. The act of raising my hand and turning my head slightly to the side to look at him caused me to become slightly off balance, and I corrected. Normally, this would not have been a problem. However, on slippery snow, adjusting the position of my bike even the slightest bit caused me to start sliding and spinning sideways. I was using the brakes too. I spun around, wiped out, and landed with my face in a bunch of deep, soft snow. I didn’t get scraped on the road. Everything was cushioned with snow.

‘Are you all right?’ Dave yelled. I got up, laughed, and told him I was okay, but I was very embarrassed. He was nice enough to keep chit chatting with me while I fixed my bike. The basket had come out of place and I couldn’t get it back into place, so I just took it off, because I didn’t have time. I told him that if Branch Road wasn’t plowed, I would just leave the bike down there tied to a tree, and I would find some other way to work.

So finally I started down the hill again, very, very carefully. In a couple of places, I couldn’t use the brakes – I had to get off the seat and slide my feet along the road to slow down. I went very slowly and sometimes I got off the bike and just walked it down the hill. I was hoping Branch Road was plowed and clear, but if it wasn’t, I knew I would still find a way to work, somehow.

Branch Road was clear enough that I could ride to work, but even so, I called them to warn them that I might be a little late if there was a problem. The manager offered to pick me up in her car, but I said I would be okay. So, I went the rest of the way to work without any more problems, and I was extremely careful not to ride on any thick snow. The roads were mostly wet, with tracks of sand and slush, but the slush was thin and shallow.

I don’t know why I stubbornly insisted that I had to learn the hard way how to ride my bike on snow. I just felt like it was something that was possible to do, and I had to try to learn how.

let’s see, three more forums this week

December 28, 2012

I joined the propeciahelp forum, but haven’t posted yet; I joined the prisonplanet forum, but haven’t posted yet there either; and now tonight I joined I put one message on that forum about smelling fear when bobcats were nearby. I forgot to introduce myself. I’m not really comfortable at the prisonplanet forum – there are different types of conspiracy theorists, and the particular type that dominates that forum is not really the right type of conspiracy theorist for me. I get tired of reading that particular writing style – it depresses me and exhausts me. But the survivalist board seems to be more my kind of spirit.

buses running on a ‘Saturday’ schedule

December 27, 2012

The buses were running, but they were on the Saturday schedule instead of the weekday schedule. I finally found a message on the catabus website that explained what the schedule was going to be for the next few days.

I did finally get home, and then ‘they’ woke me up again not too much later. I didn’t get a lot of sleep today at all.

Today I decided to put garbage bags on over my socks, inside my shoes. I’m not buying any boots for the snow. First, we don’t get snow very often, and second, I still have to move off the contaminated soil. I don’t want to keep buying new shoes while I’m still walking on the contaminated soil and having reactions every time the shoes get wet. I want to just wait until after I move to the new tent before I buy new shoes. So I’m wearing these garbage bags over my socks to keep my feet from getting wet. Hopefully, this will reduce the mania. The mania is worst when the shoes get soaked.

Before long, not too much longer, I won’t have to worry about any of this anymore, any of this contamination, these residues, these manic reactions, this annoying behavior, these mood swings and personality changes. I have reduced the drug residues greatly over the past year, and I am almost done getting rid of them completely. It won’t be absolutely perfect, but it will be negligible, and I will be able to move on with my life and worry about other things.

buses not running on the normal schedule

December 27, 2012

Well, I was lucky – I was able to get on the V bus – I was at the North Atherton McDonald’s last night, so I had a long way to go home. But apparently, the only bus running in the whole system is the V bus. I tried to transfer to the M bus, but neither the M, nor the XB, nor the XG bus went past that stop where I sat waiting in the cold for twenty minutes. I’m looking online and in the section that says ‘public messages,’ it says, ‘There are currently no messages.’ I’m looking on the maps that track where the buses are, and most of the buses are not running. But it is not a holiday, and it should not be any kind of reduced schedule, and nothing anywhere says what the buses are doing or what they will be doing today, or why. Is it the weather? Is it because of Christmas break? No explanation anywhere. No one bothers to write a message on the website explaining that we are on some kind of reduced service schedule.

So I’m sitting at Panera Bread now. If I get sick of sitting here, I’ll just take a cab home.

Stuff Mind Control Victims Like

December 27, 2012

Metallized Fabrics:

I stayed here all night… now I have to ride the bus home

December 27, 2012

I didn’t necessarily intend to stay here all night, but I did. I was sort of doing a research project, at first. I had gotten myself some earplugs, and they were extremely helpful. I am now able to sit here with the radio playing overhead, and people talking, and yet I can concentrate on what I’m doing on the computer.

I messed around with my little webpage at first, the drug residues page. I don’t remember everything I did, but one thing led to another, and eventually I felt like continuing to sit here reading instead of riding the bus home to go to bed. I just decided that I would walk home, or something – I wasn’t very clear on how exactly I was going to get home, in this deep snow, without my bike. I just felt like staying and continuing to try to learn something.

Then I started doing more research on mind control. I have done this research several times before, but have never actually finished anything. I usually just start clarifying what the goals are that I want to accomplish. I have a pen and paper, too, and so I was writing things down on paper, which is often easier for me than writing on the computer. For some reason, if I have to plan something or conceptualize something, it’s easier for me to write it on paper.

I was also reading about how to earn an income from advertising on web pages.

I wrote down a lot of stuff in the research on mind control, but again, nothing conclusive. I already know all of it, because I’ve researched all this stuff before. I would just have to ‘push the button’ to say that it’s time to implement all of this knowledge. I would have to spend some amount of money, and buy materials and tools. I already know ways that I might try to build shielding. It would take a lot of trial and error, and I would have to be willing to spend a lot of money, only to fail repeatedly. I would be working against malicious human beings who would adapt their attacks so that they could get through whatever shields I built, so that even if a shield might temporarily work in the beginning, it wouldn’t work later on, as they would escalate their attacks.

There are different strategies that I would need to use, and shielding is only one part of the strategy. I would also need to use detection equipment to prove that it was happening, and I would need some kind of direction-finding equipment to show where the attacks were coming from. There are different types of attacks, and I might need different kinds of equipment to detect each one. Some equipment is extremely expensive, like, say, $20,000, so I would need to find a way to borrow those things or get them some other way or make them myself.

I would also like to make some kind of web page about mind control and electronic harassment. It would be different from the other pages that are out there. It would have a different style, a different attitude, a different focus, a different way of talking. I have different goals and different beliefs than a lot of the people who’ve made those pages.

I am so exhausted that I can’t do anything difficult anymore, and have spent the past hour or so just reading silly blogs about ‘Stuff Whichever Ethnic Group Likes,’ for entertainment, and tonight it was Black People.

Electrophonic meteor noises = electronic harassment

December 27, 2012

I’m researching this again. It’s 4:02 AM and I’m very tired.

Very low frequency radio waves are emitted by meteors. These VLF radio waves come in contact with objects lying on the ground, or parts of the human body, and transduce (change) from radio waves into sound waves.

All that you need is a device that emits directed VLF radio waves, and you can make clicking noises and other noises near a person.

I need something that will detect VLF radio waves.

I worked on my tiny little drug residues website today.

December 26, 2012

A long while ago, I signed up for, a free website host, and started doing very small HTML pages for practice. I made a real page about drug residues: It is just plain HTML. I like learning how to do ‘handcrafted’ HTML, where nothing has been premade for you, so that is why the page is just plain text in black and white.

endless snow, mania, anxiety, fatigue, and sitting around waiting…

December 26, 2012

5:23 PM 12/26/2012

I cannot bring myself to do any work today. I’m having reactions mostly because my shoes have been wet, and I have been manic for days now ever since this rain and snow began. I have also been anxious, not knowing which businesses were open in town, not knowing if buses were running, not knowing what I could do and where I could go – basically, paralyzed by anxiety, fatigue, and residue reactions.

I didn’t take my bike, I just walked down the mountain. I’m not going to try to ride the bike on snowy roads that don’t have a shoulder anymore. I walked to Sheetz and bought myself some food and coffee. I had seen the bus going out when I was on my way down, so I knew it was running again. It wasn’t running on Christmas, I discovered, so I walked to the Nittany Mall McDonald’s and stayed there for many hours, since that one is closest to me. But today it was running again.

I got out of Sheetz and stood there waiting and waiting, and the bus was late. I knew it would have to drive slowly because of the snow, but I became anxious anyway. Then I saw a bus that came and then passed by my road without coming up the road, and I was very dismayed – was my bus going a different route now because the snow was too bad? This road was a little bit hilly, so maybe the bus wasn’t coming up here now! But I stood there just a couple more minutes, and then my bus did come, finally.

I got on the bus and to my surprise saw that it was filled with Asians. It’s Christmas break, and all the students have gone home, but the Asians are not getting on a plane and flying back to China and then coming back in a couple of days when break is over – they’re just staying here. So the foreign students are the only people left in this empty town. I was actually very glad to see them. I had expected a totally empty bus, and I thought I would be the only person riding, but no, there were maybe 15 people on the bus. For whatever reason, I became fond of Asians lately, perhaps after stumbling across the ‘Stuff Asians Like’ blog while reading random things on the net.

I got to town and decided to get Chinese food, not knowing which restaurants were open, just walking past one and seeing that it was open. Many other restaurants and stores are closed right now, and they will be closed for a few more days till the students come back. So I went in to this Chinese place and I stupidly got take-out, and as soon as I got outside I realized that I had already bought a hamburger at Sheetz and I had stuffed it into my backpack without eating it, and then, I had gotten this Asian take-out, and, on top of all that, I’m not even all that hungry, and actually felt a tiny bit sick, and there is no way that I will be able to eat both the burger and the Asian take-out, and all I really wanted was some coffee and tea.

But I will at least try to eat some of it.

I don’t like being totally incapacitated by anxiety and mania and fatigue for days and days and days. It will greatly improve when it stops snowing. I won’t have so many problems with my wet shoes.

I don’t know what I will do tonight. I hate just sitting and passing the time when there is so much that I need to do. If I’m not careful, I’m going to run out of money before my decontamination is finished.

It’s all my brother’s fault, that doggone falling noodles photo.

December 25, 2012

My brother posted an image showing snowflakes falling, and the photo was taken by a camera that had a long-lasting flash and a slow enough shutter speed that the snowflakes looked like long lines instead of flakes. Since I’m in a slightly manic mood today, this got my brain going, and now I’m trying to figure out what would happen if you dropped a bunch of noodles from a high place and gave them enough time to settle into a particular position while they were falling. Would they fall horizontally? I had said that if noodles were falling through the air in real life, they wouldn’t be oriented vertically, like the snowflake lines in the photo, but rather, horizontally, because of air resistance. And now my brain circuits have fried themselves as I try to figure out how noodles would orient themselves if they fell, without actually having any noodles or a high place to drop them off of or a videocamera to film them while they were falling. I can only create a hypothesis (“Noodles will orient themselves horizontally while falling.”). I find this very amusing, too, and challenging to think about. I should go study some physics.

waiting for Christmas to be over, and waiting for this entire town to reopen

December 25, 2012

11:58 PM 12/24/2012

I’m waiting for Christmas to be over with so that I can do things that require shopping and riding the bus and everything else. It will be hard to do everything until the students get back in town. A lot of places are closed for the winter break. The buses are probably on a reduced schedule, but I don’t know exactly what it is.

I’m probably not going to get a lot done on my decon in the next few days. We’re going to be getting a lot of snow, which makes everything harder for me.

What is in my future after the decon is over? This is a really big decon, not just a minor one. After this one is over, I should almost completely stop having reactions. And I still do not know exactly what I am going to do after this. I have a few health-related things that I need to do. I need to switch over to the diet. That will require some lifestyle changes, and I will have to figure out how exactly I’m going to do it. I would like to get help from other people so that I don’t have to do it all by myself. I also need to work on removing the two dental fillings, and I would like to be on the diet before I do that, because the teeth are going to hurt a lot if I keep eating the diet that I’m on right now and drinking all this coffee and stuff. Removing the dental fillings is the last big health related thing that I need to fix before getting pregnant – that doesn’t include getting on the diet, which I also must do before getting pregnant.

I don’t know where I will live – will I move someplace else? I don’t whether I will start groups or not – I have a need to meet with other like-minded people and cooperate with them on projects. I wrote that on my myspace page years and years ago, and it’s still true. What projects will I do first? There are several projects that I need to do. Will I be working a lot of hours to save up money, or am I going to try to increase my income instead, by doing some job independently, or by studying something and getting certifications of some kind? All of those questions are unanswered. They all need to be done. I just don’t know exactly when or where they will be done. It would help so much if I got a passive income somehow.

My concern is time. All of my projects require a lot of time, but I cannot afford to spend a lot of time: I have to get pregnant before it is too late, and so, I should spend all of my effort looking for someone who will cooperate with me on raising a family, and postpone all my other projects till after that is done. I will still want to do things to increase my income and my education and make up for all the years of my life that have been destroyed due to all these disasters. I just can’t do all of that first. I’ve postponed pregnancy for so long because of all the chaos in my life. I cannot postpone it any more.

temporarily viewable

December 24, 2012

I fixed something on the ‘My Other Web Pages’ page. Videos are temporarily viewable, but I don’t know how much longer they will stay that way.

Irreversible damage from taking Propecia for baldness – chemical castration; and, images of beautiful long haired bearded bald men

December 24, 2012

I have been reading about the persistent symptoms people have after quitting Propecia, and at first, I was hoping that it was merely caused by drug residues, which means there is hope. If they can do a decontamination, as I am doing with my drug residues, then maybe the symptoms will go away.

However, after reading more about it, I am getting the impression that it might be more than that. It might be more like permanent destruction of various tissues and organs in the body. I was hoping it wasn’t that. I was hoping that a decontamination from transdermal drug residues on clothing and belongings would get rid of the persistent symptoms. But if they have permanently destroyed their testicles and chemically castrated themselves, then it probably cannot be undone. This makes me VERY ANGRY, and now I am EVEN MORE vehemently in favor of TOTAL ACCEPTANCE of baldness. Total acceptance, as in, from the very first moment that you lose the very first hair, you do absolutely nothing to stop it.

But my version of baldness acceptance goes beyond that. I don’t want people shaving their heads. I want them to grow their remaining hair and beards, which is what I wrote in the forum.

And I have a few more pictures of men who look like this, thanks to that forum thread – somebody posted a link to a tumblr page of balding men, and for whatever reason, that tumblr page never appeared in any of my google search results, even though I have done numerous google searches for balding men.

I am looking for the ones who grow their hair long without cutting it, and also their beards. The goal is to grow every remaining hair to its terminal length, till it stops growing on its own, both head hair and beard hair. They look so amazing, and I can’t understand why this hairstyle is taboo. I wish that millions more bald men looked like this! I will try to put a bunch of images here, but I don’t know how it will work out on the page. I collected the ones with slightly longer hair, but I don’t know if they are still cutting and trimming their hair and beards or not – they might not be at terminal length.

I’ve been trying to explain this concept to people: A bald man, no matter how severely bald he is, can be more attractive than a man with a full head of hair. If the bald man has completely grown out all of his remaining head hair and beard hair, then he is more attractive (to me, and to some long hair lovers) than a man with a full head of hair who is keeping his hair short and neatly trimmed and his face clean shaven. To a long hair lover, it doesn’t matter that a guy has a full head of hair if he keeps his hair short.

Balding Men


This one is a .gif that shows him breathing. I don’t know if it will show up properly.


Hey, Julian D W Phillips is a bald guy!

December 24, 2012

He doesn’t shave his head, so you can still see the inch or two of hair in the horseshoe pattern around his head.

I’ve been writing so much in the baldness forums that now I’m looking for ‘counterarguments.’ I had seen someone complaining about how bald men are continuing to have children when they shouldn’t (and some people concluded that it was probably a troll post), and so I started looking for examples of bald people who were making a great contribution to the world, so that we are glad that they were born. These won’t necessarily be popular celebrities on television, they might just be random people like this author writing about gold.

Julian D W Phillips

confiscation of gold, by Julian D.W. Phillips

December 24, 2012

Confiscation of Gold – Then What? Part 3
Julian D.W. Phillips

This is more of a reminder to myself that I want to go back and read this again. I thought it was brilliant, and I want to go find parts 1 and 2, which I haven’t read. He has actually thought through the whole scenario. If the government orders the confiscation of gold, then what will happen, and then what, and then what? He says that he has worked with some people in other countries where markets are less free than they are here, so he already knows a little bit about black markets. He says that it will actually be harder for us, not easier, because of how well organized and open the government is here – they have the resources to totally track you and enforce their law, if they decide to make this a law. They have the resources to totally destroy the private gold and silver trade if they decide to do that.

I don’t have coins now, since I sold them a few weeks ago, but I will soon be buying coins again, and I intend to keep them for a very long time. That means I need to know exactly what will happen if the laws change. I need to know exactly how I will be able to sell those coins in the future if gold and silver sales become illegal. The government has the potential to do things that are completely insane, and once it’s done them, it won’t stop. They really could order everyone to surrender their private gold and silver again. If I am going to buy coins and keep them for my whole lifetime, I have to know about these things before they happen.

I felt like I was sleeping in a bed indoors

December 23, 2012

12:31 PM 12/23/2012

I’m still doing well in the tent and on my bike. It’s been colder in the past few days, below freezing. We had some snow, and the snow is still there on the mountain, but not in the valley. I had some ice frozen on my spear last night when I went to bed, and when I woke up this morning, the ice was still there, so the air in my tent didn’t get much above freezing. (The ‘spear’ is just a long stick with a couple of knives duct-taped to the end of it. It’s for protection against bears and bobcats, which I have seen, but rarely.)

And yet I was so comfortably warm in my quadruple sleeping bags, I felt like I was sleeping in a nice hotel bed. I remember waking up in the middle of the night feeling perfectly comfortable and normal as though I were sleeping indoors, and I was disoriented for a moment, forgetting that I was actually outside in a tent. I always make sure to have a huge margin of safety, so that I’m usually uncomfortably hot, even sweaty, so that I feel like I have to remove some of the layers.

I haven’t been sure whether I’d be able to make it through this whole winter in the tent and on my bike. It’s still going to get even colder in January and February, and we will have some heavy snows. There have only been very light dustings of snow so far. I won’t be able to go anywhere if the roads are covered in snow.

But, so far, so good.

I had a bunch of weird dreams last night, very vivid, and someone was talking to me, asking me strange questions about something having to do with numbers or denominations or something.