rope lashing is one of the compromises that I’m willing to make when building things

In reality, I’m compromising whenever I just use a tarp. I have to carry things long distances with chronic fatigue, and now, I’m also working at a job, so I’m even more tired, and I’ve been sicker than usual with some kind of gallbladder problem or digestive problem. Meanwhile, I think I’m sick now because they were spraying for gypsy moths – I’m somewhat sure that my current illness is correlating with that.

Anyway, I can’t carry big, heavy things long distances while walking. So I will either use something light, like a tarp, or else have to make something at the location where I need to build. Lashing sticks together with ropes is a compromise. The ropes are not as durable as I would like – I read someplace on the internet that manila ropes are probably the best ropes that we commonly use, but the ones that I buy at the local stores aren’t manila. Manila is good because it resists rotting for a longer time, from what I read. I would have to view my structures as ‘temporary’ rather than ‘durable’ or ‘permanent.’

I don’t like to use nails and a hammer, because that requires making a huge amount of noise, and every living being within a half mile radius will know exactly where you are and exactly what you are doing. You can do that if you ‘own,’ quote unquote, a piece of land, so that you have permission to be there. I also don’t like the spirit of hammer and nails. They’re very hard to remove after you put them in. If I used anything, I would prefer screws, because you can at least take them apart afterwards. I tried really, really hard, and made this heroic effort, to take apart the wooden pallets that I had picked up for free, by trying to get the nails out, or even just trying to pull apart anything that had been nailed together, and it was EXTREMELY hard, and I did NOT succeed. I watched someone on youtube trying to do the same thing, and he also gave up on it after a while and did it differently – I forget what he did. He might have used a saw to cut through them instead. I also tried sawing through some of them, and I succeeded, but my saw is not that great, and sawing triggers my fatigue really badly. I won’t use a noisy power saw. It will be something quiet, or nothing at all.

For long-term structures, I would want to use stones and dirt. I’ve thought about the ‘rammed earth’ blocks or something. You can make blocks by mixing fibers in with dirt, so that the fibers give it flexibility and durability. There are things that I wish I could do, and things that I will actually do, whenever I am physically exhausted and can barely even make the effort to carry even so much as a tarp over long distances.

slightly clearer weather today

I looked last night, but I didn’t see anything that I was certain was an aurora. I go to an area that is slightly darker, on the edge of town, so that I don’t have streetlights shining directly on me while I’m trying to sleep in the car. I saw one of the ‘stationkeeper’ drones that was just sitting there staying in place. I saw a bunch of fog, and some of the fog was brightly lit from below by some lights, which might possibly have come from a quarry that is nearby. Sometimes when the cars were driving by, their headlights would light up this fog and there would be beams moving through it, and at first glance, I wondered if that was an aurora, but I quickly decided it was only this annoying fog, which gradually covered the whole area. I could not see the sky through the fog eventually. So I still haven’t seen the aurora.

I used a tiny amount of bacopa today to see if I could make my brain any smarter. It helped. I had to get it out of my house. I still can’t get into my house easily because a lot of stuff is piled up inside the house, because the campground people put most of my tent stuff there when they moved my trailer after evicting me. I think they got rid of something that I painstakingly crafted with my own hands, this bunch of lashed-together sticks where I was practicing floor lashing. I had it outside, and they probably burned it along with all the wooden pallets that I had taken the trouble to pick up and carry home on top of my car or in the back, which is a huge amount of energy that I had to use, when I have chronic fatigue. I didn’t bring those up there just to have them burned in a fire. I had wanted to set up my tent as a workshop and had wanted to use the pallets as part of the floor, but never finished doing any of that when I was told that I wasn’t allowed to have a tent at all, months before I was evicted, so it all just sat there doing nothing all that time instead of ever being used for the workshop.

I still do not have a long-term plan, other than continuing to try to find my cats and remind them that I love them. I want to make some better shelters for them for when it’s raining, but I can’t actually do the work when it’s raining, because I get hypothermia and have nowhere to go to change clothes and get warm and dry.

Why is it plausible for monkeys to come to the Americas ‘on a raft of vegetation,’ but not plausible for African peoples to have been here before Columbus?

I’m seeing news about monkeys in Florida. I haven’t paid a lot of attention to plants and wildlife in Florida because I don’t live there. But for whatever reason, monkeys are in the news. I don’t know what’s going on there. I decided to google ‘new world monkeys’ out of curiosity. I have nothing against monkeys, but they are a little bit scary. They’re sort of like misbehaving children who have hands that are able to open doors and do other things that normal household pets aren’t able to do. They are not simply a ‘normal pet,’ and I am not in favor of keeping monkeys as a ‘pet,’ although I don’t even keep ordinary CATS as ‘pets,’ either, because I always allow them to have an open door that they can go through to get outside. Wikipedia says that the new world monkeys diverged from the African monkeys a long time ago, and then came across the Atlantic ‘on a raft of vegetation.’ But meanwhile, other google results, for ‘Africans came to the Americas before Columbus’ show a whole bunch of people totally denying that this could ever be possible. I find it quite believable that African people have been in the Central American area for a very long time.

the earth’s weaker magnetic field means that small solar flares cause larger disruptions and auroras

Good News, VERY Bad News, More Solar Shockwaves Coming | S0 News May.12.2024 https://youtu.be/pOTwQv7Y23g?si=_Eh-zG4S2OImUcSo

That’s the Suspicious Observers youtube channel. I’m not awake enough or verbose enough to write very much detail about it right now. I didn’t get to see much of anything, although last night, somewhere in the direction of the stadium at Penn State, I could see some brightness in the sky, and so, I don’t think it was the aurora. That was the only thing that I could see, other than clouds. This morning, I was watching the clouds of fog floating slowly along the mountains, looking like a rainforest. The weather page says basically nothing but rain and clouds for days and days. I am only glad that there hasn’t been a lot of lightning.

The magnetic pole shift is happening. I am still aware of things like that antique sewing machine for sale, the one that can be powered with a foot pedal. I know where it is, or where it was a month or two ago when I went there. I’m aware of things like a mortar and pestle instead of a blender. And I always love my non-electric knitting machines that I’m going to get someday when I have a good place for a workshop. I need those kind of things whenever there are losses of electricity. At this time, society hasn’t lost its electricity, but I personally am homeless, and so it’s still beneficial for me to know how to do things without electricity.

too cloudy for the aurora

We would be getting the aurora in Pennsylvania, but no! It’s an entire week of nothing but pouring rain and thick clouds, while all these sunspots and solar flares and geomagnetic storms are happening, and people are seeing auroras in Puerto Rico. Oh well.

I may have to take a break from the turmeric – I’m too exhausted

I have to walk a long way to go feed my cats, and now, I am so exhausted I feel like a train ran over me. I am going to have to take a nap in the car, but I still need to go find out when is the next time that I work. I’m not using the app.

I saw a lot of my cats, the yearlings. I did not see some of the P’s – that is, Peeper, Pepper Popper, Pinky, and Pluffy Boy, and I didn’t see Toasty Bunny, but that’s because his territory is harder for me to get to. I didn’t go through my list carefully, but I think those are the ones I didn’t see. I left because it was starting to rain and I didn’t want to be in the woods if it started pouring. Also, I forgot Leaf – I haven’t seen her either.

I am going to sit here and try to take a nap, although it will be hard because I took a caffeine pill. I will have to go check my work schedule sometime tonight.

I’m sorry to say that, with my broken knee, I can no longer go crawling through air shafts carrying a torch and a map or whatever that is

I’m watching the way this guy is crawling through the air duct. I can’t do that anymore. My days of crawling through air ducts looking for escaped aliens are over. I can barely even get down to take the fryer filters out. My knee isn’t exactly ‘broken,’ but it’s ‘never going to be the same again,’ basically. It’s injured and I don’t have an official diagnosis of what exactly to call it. I can walk without crutches, but my knee is nowhere near normal. I can’t sit on the sidelines and watch OTHER people crawling around looking for aliens! That’s just not me. I can’t do a desk job.

‘Alien’ movie knew, in the 1970s, that the Antarctic space base was real

I was about to watch some of that documentary, although I would have only skimmed a few pieces of it, not the whole thing, and then I saw that ‘Alien’ is now free with ads on youtube, so I had to watch it. Early in the movie, they were trying to send a signal to the Antarctic space base, or Antarctic traffic control, or something, which shows that the people producing the movies, the cabal, were doing the ‘in plain sight’ disclosure of the REAL Antarctic spaceship bases all the way back in the 1970s when that movie was made.

‘Line Goes Up – The Problem With NFTs’ is an actual documentary

‘Line goes up’ isn’t just a meme that I’ve heard. It is, but it was also the name of a documentary based on that idea. He also did one called ‘The Future is a Dead Mall.’ I haven’t watched these yet. Reading about it – I don’t like cryptocurrency, and I haven’t ever invested in it – it says that he thinks cryptocurrency is based on the ‘line goes up’ paradigm, where the only reason it has any value is if you assume that the price will always keep going up, and there are no nuances in the understanding of what it is, and he says it’s useless for any other purpose. I suppose cryptocurrency IS actually being ‘used’ somewhere, though, as an actual currency to buy things. I am not going to get into it. The most that I have ever done is buying physical silver coins, preferably older ones from the time period when people were more honest than they are now. You should assume that every new silver coin is actually silver-plated lead, and assume every new gold coin is actually gold-plated tungsten, and assume that all of them come from China, unless you slice into them and look and see what’s on the inside, or melt them down, or use some noninvasive viewing method to x-ray the inside of them, or do a tunk-test where you make a noise by tapping on the coin and seeing if it ‘rings true’ and produces the right kind of sound. This also applies to ’rounds,’ not just coins, or squares, or rectangles, or any other shape.

The solar flares are on the mainstream news. I haven’t watched my youtube channel about solar activity, but I have seen a bunch of different people talking about some solar flares and auroras. All that I have for this entire week is an endless cover of clouds and rain for days and days and days, so I won’t see any auroras.

oops, why did the ‘tab’ key hit the ‘send’ button?

I actually wasn’t finished writing that previous post! I bumped the ‘tab’ key and it went over to the ‘send’ button and pushed it. Anyway, a drop in housing prices is GOOD for the people trying to buy, ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE BUYING HOUSES BECAUSE YOU WANT TO *LIVE IN THEM*, not just sell them for profit later on. The whole bias says that housing prices are supposed to always go up, and never stop going up, ever. They are supposed to be in a permanent, increasing bubble from now until the end of all time, because houses must always be sold for a ‘higher number’ than the number you bought them for, and that higher number is ‘profit,’ even though, according to a gold standard, it’s nothing more than inflation and devaluation of money. Money is worth less, so the numbers don’t buy as much as they used to, and you’re calling that ‘profit.’ People who actually want to buy a house and live in it forever, because they need to live, aren’t important and don’t matter, and those people shouldn’t be factored into any considerations. Just ignore them. They don’t exist. The only people who matter, according to this PARADIGM, are the people who are buying and selling houses in a permanent inflationary bubble. The people in forums mock this paradigm by saying, ‘Line go up.’ That’s the simplistic view of people who don’t understand the financial system. The line always goes up! Line go down is bad! I hit the ‘tab’ button because I was reaching up for the exclamation point with my left pinky finger.

The seller-biased perspective makes it sound like low housing prices are BAD, and this really annoys me

I am more indisposed than usual today. I was just googling the housing crisis. I didn’t remember the name of the mysterious financial instruments that had trillions of dollars put into them. I didn’t finish reading the wikipedia article, because I suddenly noticed the EXACT THING that annoys me. I don’t have my earplugs in, and I should get them if I want to have any deep thoughts. But I will just write out my shallow thoughts right now.

Quote from wikipedia:

“It was triggered by a large decline in US home prices after the collapse of a housing bubble, leading to mortgage delinquencies, foreclosures, and the devaluation of housing-related securities. Declines in residential investment preceded the Great Recession and were followed by reductions in household spending and then business investment. Spending reductions were more significant in areas with a combination of high household debt and larger housing price
declines.[3]”

Do you see this bias? The bias says, ‘Houses are made for selling. You are supposed to buy a house, wait for the price to go up, and then sell the house for a “profit.”‘ If prices go down, THAT’S BAD! BAD! BAD!

conspiracy theory: the logging on the hill nearby was actually done by the Stoltzfus crime gang themselves for the cabins; also, the clueless news lady talked about Adjustable Rate Mortgages as though they were a perfectly neutral, acceptable thing

That second part of the title was something that I saw just now while I was sitting here using the wifi. She was talking about how mortgage rates were higher than they used to be – where they had been around 2%, they are now around 7%, and, they said, homeowners didn’t want to sell, because they didn’t want to buy a new house at these new higher rates, which would make them have a higher monthly payment at the same price. ‘At the same price’ is an assumption which implies that it would be possible to GET anything ‘at the same price.’ Nothing will be at the same price anymore as a result of all the changes in the mathematical algorithms. Anyway, she said, this newscaster lady, that ‘home buyers had to get creative to figure out ways to get good mortgage rates,’ or something, and she listed three possible ways. The first was ‘adjustable rate mortgages,’ which she mentioned in a casual tone of voice as though ARMs were merely no big deal, merely another way of doing things and another option that people might have, RATHER THAN THE BIGGEST SCANDAL IN ALL OF HUMAN HISTORY THAT CAUSED THE HOUSING CRASH OF 2008.

Okay, that is oversimplifying it – several factors caused the housing crash of 2008. But ARMs were one of the biggest factors. It means, you give a mortgage to poor people who can’t make much money. Then, after they’ve lived in their house for a while, you suddenly raise the mortgage rate so that the poor people living there can’t afford to pay their mortgage anymore. You foreclose on the mortgage and evict them. They never finish paying off the mortgage and they default. Meanwhile, use a bunch of mysterious ‘financial instruments’ that are hard to explain, as an indirect way of moving money around in the marketplace, and make it so technical and so complicated that the ordinary person has no idea what any of those things are or what they mean, and put trillions of dollars into those mysterious financial instruments. I don’t remember what they were called, and I would have to google it again.

But I don’t believe that market crashes happen by accident. They happen because somebody somewhere pushes a button on a machine to make the market crash, by agreement. The market is a controlled machine, and it does NOT operate by itself according to some kind of natural rules that everybody agrees on. It is a controlled machine, and the people who choose to make it crash have the ability to trick people and lie to people, making them do things like change this or that rate on something, making bank runs happen, and other things. It is not merely the ‘invisible hand’ of anonymous natural forces or natural consequences. Instead, it is an ‘invisible hand’ of a group of living, conscious beings, who are also operating artificial intelligence machines at the same time.

Anyway, on a totally different topic, the conspiracy theory this morning was, I suddenly became sure, out of nowhere, that the people who had done all of that godawful logging, which I was complaining about for so long, right near the campground on the hills behind it, on someone else’s property, was actually the Stoltzfus Crime Gang themselves. They just did it through yet another one of their puppet companies. They have all these puppet companies like ‘Campground Guys, LLC.’ It was probably ‘The Logging Guys, LLC’ or something who went up there and did all that logging. The asshole behavior that they exhibited FITS EXACTLY with all of the other asshole behavior of the SCG Stoltzfus Crime Gang. I was told that the logging actually crossed the lines onto other people’s property nearby, and they tried and failed to get a lawsuit against the people who had done the logging. I didn’t interrogate them to get all the names of the people who had done the logging. I wouldn’t put it past them to have actually done that logging on someone else’s property, completely, without ever asking, because it might be a property that nobody ever goes to, and maybe, the owner hasn’t even gone to it in years, and maybe they don’t even know that somebody logged it a couple years ago. According to the theory, they then used these ill-gotten logs to build the godawful Glamping Cabins or Glabins that I hate so much. All of these cabins were newly built, and they belong to ‘a subcontractor,’ ‘not to the campground itself,’ according to what people say – but EVERYTHING the SCG does is through a ‘subcontractor’ or puppet company, so it will be ‘The Glabin Guys, LLC,’ or something, who actually possesses those cabins. They divide all of their activities through a bunch of LLCs that actually have close and distant Stoltzfus Family members involved in them.

If that pay card just now overdrew and charged me a fee, well, it will have to sit there for the rest of eternity waiting for that fee, because I will never put money onto that thing again

I just now put some gas into the tank, thinking that my debit card, from work, the one that you get with that horrible app that I was complaining about, would automatically stop whenever I used up the last of the money. I have my other two bank debit cards set so that they don’t allow overdrafts. They will take out the very last penny and then stop, if I’m pumping gas. I assumed this card, with my pay from work, would probably do the same thing. Nope! I just used my calculator, and it went negative. I have been keeping track of it on paper, so that I know exactly how much I have without having to ever open that goddamn app. If it allows you to go negative, then it could mean one of two things: it’s allowing me to overdraw, and charging me a fee, or else, my next pay cycle has somehow already been deposited onto that card, even though it isn’t payday yet. I’m going to assume it’s probably the first one, charging a fee for an overdraft. Well, if that’s what it’s doing, then it can sit there until hell freezes over, waiting for me to deposit more pay onto it to pay for the overdraft and fee. I wonder how much I could overdraw and then just never deposit anything onto it again? I could get away with a huge fraud. Maybe I’ll just go buy a car with it right now.

maybe the tuberculosis outbreak in California or wherever is from homeless people inhaling paraffin candle smoke

I was just looking up information about oilskins, made with linseed oil and beeswax. They were yellow because of the linseed oil, so that explains why raincoats are yellow! I never knew that before. Modern raincoats are only yellow as a tradition rather than a natural effect of linseed oil, since linseed oil isn’t what they’re using anymore. I looked up something about paraffin, which is a petroleum-based oil. One result mentioned that inhalation of petroleum-based paraffin smoke can cause tuberculosis. This is one reason why I always buy beeswax candles instead of mainstream candles from places like Walmart. I also don’t like soy, just on principle, but I suppose soy candles might be less toxic than petroleum-based oils. I am just not a fan of soy, and soy is subsidized, and we have way too much of it. If soy was only used in small quantities in the diet, I wouldn’t have an objection to eating just a little bit of it sometimes. But it’s EVERYWHERE and you cannot escape from it in everything, and it’s estrogenic.

I heard there was an outbreak of tuberculosis someplace like California or somewhere. It’s probably one of the places where they have tons of homeless people living in camps. They might be using a lot of candles! Their nutrition would be bad, too.

eating turmeric, sleeping more, remembering dreams, willingness to maybe craft something

The turmeric is drying out well on my car dashboard. I wish I had thought of using the car dashboard to dry things out years ago. I would’ve been doing it all the time. It stays very dry because the car isn’t leaking, and it gets lots of sun, and the air blows over it from the vents on the dashboard.

I have been eating just one small piece of the turmeric once or twice a day. I don’t want to use a lot of it, because it has been making me sleepy and tired. I’ve had times in the past when the opposite happened, when I ate fresh turmeric and was so energized and restless, I actually climbed all the way to the top of the mountain behind the campground, which I have only done a few times. It takes hours and hours of walking to get up there and back. I just did it spontaneously that day after eating some fresh turmeric. But now, this particular batch has been making me more sleepy.

Herbal antidepressants, and also the one that I took very briefly as a prescription, prozac, make me remember my dreams. The dreams that I had on prozac were perfectly clear and utterly, absolutely evil. I remember I had a perfectly clear dream that somebody was dangling a fish hook with a tiny dog on the hook, and I swallowed this into my stomach, and I could feel the pain of the fish hook inside my stomach, and when I woke up, the pain from the fish hook was still in my stomach, which probably meant that I was having a stomach hemorrhage or something, now that I’ve read about how antidepressants like prozac can cause stomach bleeding. But the herbal antidepressants that I have used, st johnswort, and turmeric (most people don’t describe it as an antidepressant, but I call it that because I observe all the effects it has), also make me remember my dreams, but they were never as horrible as the dreams that I had on prozac.

All dreams are fake – they are written by some kind of conscious being, whether it is humans, or aliens, or AI – the weirdness could be explained by AI. I don’t know what a real, natural dream would be like. Whatever it is that your brain needs to do while dreaming, I don’t know what it would be like if it were just doing that thing by itself without being manipulated. When you sleep, your brain needs to physically, mechanically open up a part of itself so that this liquid can flow out of the crypts inside the brain, the cerebrospinal fluid, which is going to have toxins and waste products in it as a result of your brain functioning. Those have to be flushed down into the spinal column and, I assume, into the lymphatic system, and into the kidneys to be removed – I don’t know the exact details of where it goes or how, but it has to be eliminated like all other waste products. That is what is happening while you sleep.

I was dreaming about my mom. I know that it’s her birthday sometime, but I don’t remember the exact date and would have to look it up. In the dream, I could see what she was wearing. She looked healthy and was standing up straight, which meant that she was younger. She had on a shirt that had glittering sequins on it, and I think each individual sequin was shaped like something, maybe a Christmas tree. I actually touched this shirt and felt the sequins. I don’t remember what she did or said in the dream, only that her mood towards me was loving and benevolent, not angry or sad or anything negative. There were other sequins and other colors on this shirt, but I don’t remember much, and I’m not sure if the sequins were really shaped like Christmas trees or not. They were just unusual somehow.

There is one thing that this turmeric might possibly be doing for me, which might possibly be helpful at a time like this. I have hardly any money, although I got some food stamps money, but it’s very hard to buy things that are 1. not hot, because, if it’s still true, you’re not allowed to buy hot food with food stamps, and 2. not refrigerated, because I don’t have a refrigerator. That really, really limits what I can buy with food stamps. I have been buying some cheap, non-chocolate cookies, because I don’t want to necessarily be eating a caffeinated stimulant every single time I want to eat something sweet or get calories. The cookies I’m buying are ‘golden oreos.’ They satisfy certain cravings, which are unexplainable, cravings for mainstream factory farm junk products, like chemical-infused soybean oils and stuff like that. I have a theory that neonicotinoid pesticides probably make these factory farm foods addictive because they behave like nicotine. I’ve observed differences in the cravings that I feel for factory farm Fritos brand chips, versus organic corn chips. The organic chips do not trigger this addictive craving.

This terrible food is one of the reasons why my joints are really bad, absolutely horrible, right now. The fats in them are horrible for the joints. Back whenever I still believed in some mainstream nutrition, I was using canola oil to fry things in, whenever I was younger and I had first gotten out on my own and was living in apartments for the first time. When I fried things in canola oil, my knee joints were so bad, with arthritis, that I could hardly walk up and down the stairs. Rancid polyunsaturated fats are horrible for you. It’s probably more than that, too, because rapeseed, in and of itself (which is the same as canola oil, except that canola oil has some kind of genetic modification, and I don’t know the details), is poisonous and causes heart attacks. It’s the plant poison, not the fats. The PLANT POISON contained in rapeseed causes heart attacks. It’s this kind of thing that frustrates me about the science of nutrition. I don’t see enough mainstream science talking about how naturally occurring plant toxins can cause health problems. I also remember reading something about how, in a laboratory experiment, the scientists caused the rats to get colon cancer by giving them corn oil.

I am not saying that fats don’t cause heart attacks, because they do, and again, I’ve personally experienced it. I bought these little sausages that you dip in mustard, and when you open the package, you are supposed to refrigerate them. I didn’t realize that, so I left them at room temperature, so I went several days eating spoiled sausages that were rancid. I was having severe heart attacks that got worse with exertion, like if I was carrying heavy boxes up the stairs at work (I worked at a McD where, back then, years and years ago, they actually had a downstairs room with everything stored in it, and you had to walk up these greasy steps without slipping – it was a nightmare). I have observed heart attacks from foods that are a combination of meats and fats, such as cheeses or sausages, if they are left at room temperature. There is some other thing that I’m not remembering the name of which can also cause problems, and the word isn’t coming to me. If you keep these foods refrigerated below 40 degrees F, then they won’t cause heart attacks. But I also did some cooking (I haven’t had anywhere near enough chances to test all this stuff, because, in every house I’ve lived in, I’ve gone through long phases of time where I was unable to cook at home for various reasons) where I cooked some animal products that should have been good quality, which I had kept at the right temperature in the
refrigerator, and if I ate a lot of the fat from them, it gave me chest pains. I really, really wish I had more chances to freely cook a whole bunch of things at home so that I could do all of this testing and observation. There was an article on the Weston Price website that also said, if you ate sauerkraut with pork, as was traditional, it helped prevent the clumping of the blood cells into ‘rouleaux,’ ‘stacks of coins,’ which was caused by a substance in pork, not necessarily fat, but some other substance. So you can do things like eat garlic – garlic was always really good for fixing those heart attacks when they happened, fresh raw garlic especially.

Oh, that was all a tangent about how my joints are hurting partly because I’m eating the worst of the low quality fats, these cookies with partially hydrogenated vegetable oils in them.

I had said that I was thinking about crafting things. I don’t have any money, and I STILL won’t have any money after I get my next paycheck from work, because I’m working only a small number of hours, and my hourly wage is low. I have not yet pressured them and insisted that I want to work a whole lot of hours, because I am not yet fully committed to that decision. I really hate it and I am dragging my feet, resisting. I do not want to work.

The thing that I was thinking of crafting was not something nice, not like traditional high quality crafting, but just making something because I need it. I tried buying one or two raincoats that ended up not working very well, so I still need a raincoat. I was thinking that I could use a plastic bag, which I have done before, but in order to make it work better, I could use some string, which I do have in the car, and use it as a drawstring to keep it in place, and use duct tape to put the string into the location where it has to be in order to work, so that the cut-out face of the hood stays where it’s supposed to. I have to make a separate hood from the rest of the raincoat, which will be a trash bag with holes for the arms. I have done some of these things before, and they don’t work very well, but they slightly help, and if I made the hood with a drawstring, it would work a lot better.

I was also thinking of ‘Eskimo stitching,’ ‘Inuit stitching,’ or ‘Arctic stitching,’ as I was trying to think of a general name for it. The Inuit would make waterproof boots out of sealskin. They made them so well, they are better than any boots we have now. They would use real sinew, NOT artificial sinew, which doesn’t work – they would use real sinew as thread, and the sinew would swell if it got wet. They would poke the needle only halfway through the skin of the boots, so that it would not make a hole that water would leak through. Preventing leaks was a matter of life and death at those cold temperatures in the Arctic. This was precision engineering. You can sew with the needle going only halfway into the sealskin and then coming back out again. I don’t know all the details of how they made their boots and how they did the seams, but I remember the thing about putting the needle only into the surface and then bringing it back out again.

I don’t have any leather, but animal skins would be waterproof. I don’t know whether real fur coats are waterproof. I haven’t done much with any fur coats, because the ones that I have ever tested are totally useless and frivolous. They are made by lunatic imbeciles purely for decorative purposes, and they are the worst of the worst of ‘fashion’ rather than practicality. I am all in favor of using animal skins and fur if you absolutely are using them for PRACTICAL purposes, and they are designed to be FUNCTIONAL and EXTREMELY STRONG so that you can really use them in everyday life, and use them for outdoor work, and use them for survival when your life depends on them. The frivolous garbage that I have found sold as fur coats is not like that at all. It is ‘fashion.’ They have no warmth, and they don’t fit, and you can’t move in them. They often provide decoration without any actual coverage. So I did try buying a couple of fur coats in the past, years ago before I knew how bad they usually were, and I stopped trying to do anything with them. Now I am much more focused on wool.

I would like to try making a wool oilskin. You can put oil onto fabric to make it waterproof. I would want to use nontoxic oil. I know that linseed oil was used for a lot of things, but also, linseed oil will spontaneously combust, from what I have been told, so you will have a pile of oily rags that will catch on fire in the garage, that kind of thing. I also don’t know much about paraffin. I wouldn’t necessarily use beeswax for everything. I might have a willingness to use paraffin if I was sure that it wasn’t toxic. I would like to try using felted wool, making sure that it was preshrunk, felted as tightly as possible, and put wax or oil, or both, into the felted wool.

There were raincoats made out of straw in China thousands of years ago. I wouldn’t mind having a raincoat made of straw.

some of the stuff is probably or possibly Si Fe too, but I don’t want to see that either

Whichever way you argue it, it’s either going to be that model that I’ve used where +Si/-Se is my 7th function, the disvalued one, or else you could argue that I don’t like the Fe – whatever it is, I’m still seeing all these videos about ‘animal was in horrible conditions, we sat there filming it, animal was rescued and we did this and we did that,’ and you never know how much of this is actually true or if it was set up to happen that way, just to make money on a youtube video – some of it could be Si and Fe. Whatever it is, it’s horribly annoying and I’m struggling to label exactly what socionic function it is and why I hate it so much.

youtube is still set for the wrong socionic type; however, I did see something interesting about real estate

A couple years ago, I briefly tried taking an online course in real estate – I had been exposed to an unknown substance that caused me to start trying ‘unsustainable manic projects,’ and that was what prompted me to take this online class, which I eventually didn’t finish. But I just barely learned enough, and just barely retained enough information in my memory, that some of the stuff they’re talking about in this video sounds vaguely familiar. The sociotype that youtube has been turned into is Beta ST, it seems. Whoever it is that hacked my youtube, they have hacked it to show videos that contain my socionic id functions, disvalued strong functions that you don’t enjoy seeing tons and tons of all the time. It’s still that way. I’ve eliminated some of the worst animal abuse channels by clicking ‘don’t recommend this to me’ a few times. But I’m still seeing stuff about kittens that are starving, injured, or mutilated.

Basically, I can’t even sum this up, but it’s something about an antitrust lawsuit or something that went to the supreme court, which involved the national association of realtors. You don’t have to pay the 6% sales commission fee, or something. However, in the first video that I watched about it, while struggling to follow all of the technical jargon that I can barely remember, I heard one of the people say ‘baked in’ to some number, so, what’s really going to happen is, you’ll still probably be paying all of the same fees you paid before, but it will all be ‘baked in’ to one lump sum that you have to pay. I don’t know whether this is a good thing, a bad thing, or a neutral and useless thing. Most likely, it’s either bad or neutral, kind of like how when you break up the Rockefeller monopoly, it turns into a hundred different small businesses that end up being even more profitable in the long run than the original monopoly was. This probably will somehow end up benefiting the realtors even more. They did say that small, individual, inexperienced realtors might have a harder time with this, and only the biggest and oldest groups of realtors will remain, so that doesn’t necessarily sound like a good thing. It sounds like an even bigger monopoly to me. I dunno. I don’t really understand exactly what it is that’s happening because I don’t remember all of the mumbo jumbo and what the words mean.

You know what? I love Alex Jones. I really do.

I feel like nobody understands the fact that we are in an actual war. I went to the Alex Jones website and started playing one video, and already, just the little ad at the beginning of the video showed him saying that ‘we are screwed,’ and other things – it’s just everything he says. He completely understands that the entire world is at war, even though it looks peaceful, and you can’t see this war outright just by looking around you. You aren’t seeing bombs dropping on the town that you live in, but we are at war. I can’t transcribe word-for-word exactly what he said, but I already feel understood. I am not exactly like Alex Jones, and his way of doing things is not exactly like my way of doing things, but yet, he knows a lot of the same things that I know, and he says them better than I can say them. I don’t say ‘I love this or that’ except when I’m under the influence of an antidepressant, so this is partly because of eating turmeric, but it’s true.

still working on the long term plan

I was trying to think about it last night, but, as always, I was still being attacked when I was trying to think. My thought processes have been slightly changed because I am eating some fresh turmeric. I was able to observe the hate, fear, and grief that I am feeling constantly in the background. It is a constant background feeling, and I do not really enjoy taking care of my cats right now. I do try to go find them and feed them, but I can only find a tiny minority of them. A lot of them are missing. One or two who were missing did turn up, but others who I was seeing frequently are now missing. Some have been missing for weeks.

I’m also feeling that I don’t really enjoy being comfortable – I am not at peace. I’m comfortable enough when I am sleeping in my car. It’s warm enough, and dry enough, and if I get into a good position and set things up the right way, I can sleep relatively well, not great, but I know that I’m more comfortable than my cats are. My cats are still wandering and distressed, not understanding why their home has been destroyed. It isn’t a ‘why,’ that’s not what I mean, but I just mean, the way that it happened, not a justification for the fact that it happened. Not, ‘If you know the reason why, then that makes it okay,’ but just, ‘If you knew the story of how it happened, then you would understand what is going on.’ There’s nothing that can make it ‘okay.’ I have chronic fatigue, and so I can’t do hard work nonstop, and also go to my job, but in the hours when I am resting and taking it easy, I am comfortable, and I know that my cats aren’t as comfortable, although it’s warm outside now in the month of May. Soon, in the blink of an eye, it will be winter again, because it is always winter. Winter is the default, and summer is a brief and fleeting exception to the default. Winter never really ends.

haha, cat-gpt is a real thing! I was only joking!

https://www.cat-gpt.com