Miserable today and yesterday; can’t wait to talk to bank

I’m going to the bank on Monday morning. This whole idea was prompted by thinking I would get a couple thousand dollars, although it hasn’t arrived yet, but now that I am doing it, it’s possible to do it even without the couple thousand dollars. However, the rent is high enough at the campground that I probably wouldn’t be able to do it by myself unless I was on food stamps. It’s $700 a month. But I won’t necessarily stay at that particular one forever. This is just practice. I will be able to go to others later. That’s the whole point. I will no longer have to carry my belongings out of the apartment every time I leave. I can leave everything sitting exactly where it is. I just have to hitch it to a truck.

I am also starting to look into buying a truck. I’m looking at those free magazine things with cars for sale. I know I hate them all because they have automatic windows and locks. And automatic transmissions. But I will probably buy a truck I hate, just so I can tow my house. It’s easier to buy the vehicle separately. I’m starting with “baby steps.” Small loans which I will pay off before getting another.

I have felt horribly miserable the last day or two. I have PMS and I’m somewhat sick too. I just feel very, very depressed and can’t wait to hurry up and do this bank loan thing and get the trailer. I just want to stop dealing with apartments and roommates forever. And leases. I want to totally own and control the space that I live in.

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