slept in, forgot all I had to do today

I was gonna give Eric a book. I’m at home, not online yet. So I haven’t checked my email. I slept all day caffeine free, but in caffeine withdrawal, there is always intense anxiety. The anxiety is starting now, although it isn’t intense yet. I’m reading a book called “Remote Control -The Battle For Your Mind.” It was sent to me by a German friend who would like me to eventually mail it to him – he said he wasn’t able to get it delivered. The book is good enough, although my experience is somewhat different. I just experience nonstop noise and whispers, which I can’t understand much of, but which prevent me from using my own mind, especially any functions that are slower or weaker. I have no ability to change my beliefs or habits or my future because of this. They seem to have no other goal except to incapacitate me. I am not being used for anything as at as I know – they just want to prevent me from existing, without killing me. So, I’m able to read the book and I can relate to his experiences and have had similar experiences myself, but at the same time, it isn’t really what I need to see.

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