Yeah… looking at that photo is not in my best interests. The battle again. Reopened scars.

Matthew is now burned into my brain. I can see him and am feeling a connection to him all over again. I’m even accepting the delusional belief that he is remembering me and hoping I’ll see it. I have to fight this battle all over again as though it all just happened yesterday. Things like eleuthero make it worse. I do have reasons why I use it – it does help me get stuff done. I fought this battle already! Here it is again. My brain truly does not understand that a photo is not a real person and matthew isn’t directing it at me, but at Hannah and at everyone. It’s like being in love with a celebrity or TV actor. Everyone can see them, not just you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: