eat the same food you feed your babies, so you can understand what their problem is

I’m already having painful gas after eating one jar of the vegetables. The babies would be screaming right now. Actually, it’s not severe, but that’s because I’m able to move around however I want to. A baby that has to lie down in one place isn’t going to be able to figure out how to cope with painful gas on its own.

If I had kids, I would feed them pre-chewed food from my own mouth. However, the chances that I will have even one single child are plummeting like a rock with every passing day. I’ve never been in love with someone who was willing to stay with me and put up with all my problems. There are lots of people who wouldn’t mind being with me, but I’m very picky about who I fall in love with – I can’t help it. I’m just not comfortable with the idea of marrying someone and having kids with them when I have only a boring, lukewarm affection and tolerance for them, and nothing more, because ‘lukewarm affection and tolerance’ is usually the most you can get out of me, even with duals.

Anyway, pre-chewed foods fed mouth to mouth is the way to go. The baby eats exactly what I eat, and it gets my saliva, and my germs, to populate its intestines.

I was fantasizing about ground-up insects in baby food jars, for vegan parents who need to compromise so their babies don’t die of
malnutrition. I tried to google some of the horror stories of the terrible things that happen when vegan parents force their babies to be vegan, but alas, I couldn’t find them, because all the pro-vegan trolls had posted hundreds of millions of pro-vegan results on google. The depopulation program wins again. The dumbing down program wins again (vegan babies have much lower IQs than omnivores). I was imagining several different kinds of insects, with a label on the jar saying what they were, just like ordinary baby food – crickets, nymphs (of some particular species), mealworms, fly larva (‘maggots’ has negative connotations), and so on. Grasshoppers. I ate a pillbug one time. Just one. I also tried eating an earthworm, but had very weird reactions later on.

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