I am a machine on caffeine

5:36 PM 6/27/2017

Yesterday, I bought a coffeemaker again. I had one briefly when I lived at the Youngs’ house. I threw it away, partly because I was moving into my tent, and partly because I wanted to quit coffee – I always have wanted to quit it again.

But the caffeine pills aren’t helping enough – they really don’t work very well at all. There is something missing from them, something which is present in real coffee.

So I am freshly grinding my own coffee beans right before using them, which I’ve never done before. I bought a little grinder. All of this, sadly, is temporary – I sincerely want to get into a position where I won’t use any caffeine at all. But while I am being poisoned by unknown substances and EMFs here, and while it’s urgent for me to move out, I *have to* clean up this room and get my stuff moved someplace, and I can’t do that while constantly sleeping.

So, this coffee is actually working. It’s giving me a kind of joyless, resigned productivity. It is effective. I am not happy – I am kind of an aggressive robot who is looking at the world in a sharp, fierce way, even though the world outside this window is full of beautiful colors and wind blowing. It should be a day for a walk – but I am a machine. I do work.

I have actually cleaned up a significant amount of the huge mess on my floor. I can visibly see a big difference. It’s not done, but I’m taking a break. A very big difference has been made.

2 Responses to “I am a machine on caffeine”

  1. nebbie916 Says:

    I don’t think the “do you want to be neutered?” question is silly at all. This video is NOT funny. Cats are no more willing to have the neuter procedure subjected onto them than humans are.

  2. Nicole Says:

    Eww, the fact that the cat actually answers her! My half brother said his cat behaved as though it was able to understand his language, to some extent. This cat seems to understand ‘something bad is happening and I don’t want to be here.’

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