Jesus is an asshole! No wonder I can’t read the bible

He said to another man, “Follow me.” But he replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”

Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”

What the fuck, Jesus! What the fuck!!!

A man in the crowd called out, “Teacher, I beg you to look at my son, for he is my only child.

A spirit seizes him and he suddenly screams; it throws him into convulsions so that he foams at the mouth. It scarcely ever leaves him and is destroying him.

I begged your disciples to drive it out, but they could not.”

“You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you and put up with you? Bring your son here.”

Even while the boy was coming, the demon threw him to the ground in a convulsion. But Jesus rebuked the impure spirit, healed the boy and gave him back to his father.

How long do I have to put up with you people? Jeez!

I once looked at this parody of the bible, which was actually not even a parody, but a book written in a ‘children’s book’ style, with drawings, of some of the worst, scariest, or funniest moments from the bible, things that are sort of inappropriate for children. I can’t remember what it was called. It made fun of one of the moments when Jesus got angry because somebody asked him to cure a leper or something. I found it – it’s called ‘Awkward Moments Children’s Bible.’

I really, sincerely do not like Jesus. He really seems like a self-centered egotistical asshole bastard a lot of the time.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: