Omg. The laundry DEFINITELY helped. Musing about unscientific woo-woo and wondering if I should do any of it. Giant flying gods on burning chariots descending from the clouds.

I think it must have been Jesse’s drug residues. Whatever it was, it caused the total suppression of everything, along with a very miserable mood. TSE: Total Suppression of Everything.

I’ve been using ginseng *intermittently*, not every day, so I am not sure yet how it’s influencing the moods.

I just feel suddenly *able* to do things, simple things, the simplest things. Jesse’s drug is one of those DisAbilifying type drugs, the ones that prevent you from doing things, on purpose. For people who are plagued by the problem of Doing Too Much. I just feel, all of a sudden, today, like I’m suddenly able to do just a few tiny little things that need to be done.

I have four days till the shungite gets here, and it just can’t get here fast enough. My hopes for it are so high that it’s sure to be disappointing. So many people all over the internet are saying that it makes *huge* changes in their lives. One writer called it ‘the shungite smackdown.’ It hits you really hard and knocks away all the crap that isn’t you. Well, I’ve got LOTS of crap that isn’t the real me, added on, over all these years. I don’t even know what I would be if I knocked all that crap off.

I am just constantly influenced by harmful outside energy, the general ‘background noise’ along with the deliberate mind control frequencies. If I can block, change, transform, or reduce any of that the slightest bit at all, I hope I will notice a big difference in how I feel.

A lot of people are talking about putting pieces of shungite on, for instance, the wireless routers or the electric smart meters. I sort of agree about that, but that’s not entirely my problem. I am actually being *attacked*, while lying in bed, and it’s not a lightning bolt coming from the smart meter or the wireless router. It’s not just a general radiation surrounding me by accident. So I would rather put shungite on parts of my body – my forehead, the back of my neck, anywhere, my abdomen, places that have problems.

One person wrote that they had a powerful effect or feeling from the shungite the first time they found it, but then afterwards the effects died down. I had something similar with my other stones, the beads. I had times when they really seemed to be doing something very noticeable, and other times when they seemed to stop working. Some people claim you have to ‘cleanse’ crystals and stones, or re-energize them somehow.

Unfortunately, I have no way of knowing how much of this is
‘unscientific woo-woo’ versus actual fact. I haven’t tested any of it. I have enough imagination, and enough of an open mind, to believe that certain things are possible. However, that doesn’t mean that *everything* is always possible all of the time. It doesn’t mean that every single thing someone claims is happening, is actually happening, in exactly the way that they claim it’s happening.

And it’s actually chronic fatigue that prevents me from testing these sorts of things. ‘Cleansing’ my stone beads wouldn’t be that hard to do; however, I hesitate to do it, for unknown reasons, partly because it is simply a hassle. There were instructions like burying a crystal in the ground to reconnect it with the earth, and that kind of thing, not just washing the stones.

I’m just impatiently waiting. I have to know. Once I know, I can focus on something else. Will it help at all, or will it be just meh, not really great, just another unusual mineral with some slightly unusual sensations surrounding it and that’s all?

I am swinging just slightly in the direction of using phrases like ‘unscientific woo-woo’ for a reason. It’s probably mind control. But it’s partly because I’m just utterly disgusted with religious people right now. I might be able to find an ENFP who is explicitly an atheist; however, it’s likely that this atheistic ENFP will be TOO atheist, someone who is TOO skeptical of everything. Like I said the other day, I don’t really fit in with atheists either.

I’m hard to categorize, or at least I think I am. Maybe an INTJ could figure out which category I belong to. No, I am not requesting that the mind controllers give some INTJ a forced urge to talk to me. It’s just that it would be nice to have at least a couple of labels that I agreed with and thought were the right labels for me and my beliefs. Or belief ‘clusters,’ as I call them, a group of beliefs that tend to occur together, but not necessarily all at once in every person. These people tend to notice the same types of beliefs, and collect them and attach them together. It’s the ‘If you like X, then you probably will like Y’ type of thing.

For instance, if you like the idea of breastfeeding instead of bottle feeding, then you probably will be interested in other similar topics, like the issue of circumcision versus intactness, or the issue of natural childbirth versus cesarean section. I clustered all those beliefs together and tended to collect one after another because they all had some similar themes.

But not everyone notices those similar themes and not everyone agrees with the entire belief cluster. I remember being horrified while reading an ‘attachment parenting’ website that there was some lady who thought of herself as doing ‘attachment parenting,’ and yet she was still practicing the tradition of either binding a baby to a board, or else tying up the baby with cloths, I forget – swaddling, that’s it.

She was in some other country and was able to get the idea that you have to question the rightness of abusive discipline, but didn’t grasp that this also leads to not swaddling babies or binding them to a board. (I’m pretty sure it was swaddling specifically now that I think about it.) And she was acting like this huge troll, all in a huff and all upset and offended because somebody somewhere questioned the rightness of her swaddling – she was all like, ‘Well! OF COURSE swaddling is a wonderful thing to do, because of reasons A, B, C, D, E, and F, and no, it ISN’T a violation of attachment parenting, and blah, blah, blah!’

And then some people were all nodding their heads and agreeing with her, and going like, ‘Yeah, yeah, swaddling is fine! No worries about swaddling! Everybody is different! We’re all special snowflakes here! Everybody is free to do anything at all that they want to do and still refer to themselves as an “attachment parent!” You can beat your baby with a stick because it’s traditional to do that in some countries and still say it’s attachment parenting! You people leave her alone! Stop judging her!’

Oh, that’s right, this all came along with a slight swing in the direction of atheism and away from religion. I don’t call myself an ‘agnostic’ – that is something I certainly am not. I am not just vague and unsure and indifferent to the whole idea of whether there might be gods or something. I am very, very sure that there are gods! And I don’t necessarily like them. I’m a rebellious person who believes in freedom and doesn’t believe in submitting to powerful forces. And those powerful forces are very real, and they have a lot of powers and abilities that are so far beyond what we’re accustomed to that they are absolutely unthinkable and inconceivable to most people.

But they are never infinite, and they are never omnipotent or omniscient. They are never perfect, complete, or infallible. And I know that, because the Christian God is supposed to be perfect, infallible, complete, benevolent, omnipotent, and omniscient, but I can see *all sorts* of holes and flaws in how they describe this god. I can see lots of perfectly valid criticisms of this god.

Mainstream American Christians have this idea that ‘God is only a philosophical concept.’ God is some vague thing that you can imagine as some imaginary ideal. In a way, that is similar to the Anaya that I meditate on. However, that’s the reason why the Christians will be shocked and horrified the most to hear about full disclosure, to find out that aliens have been interfering and interacting with the human race for millions of years, and calling themselves gods, and literally, physically DOING all the things written about in the bible and in the apocryphal writings that were rejected from the bible, like the book of Enoch. They literally, physically do ride down from the clouds on a flying throne surrounded by fire, and then start giving commands to the people to obey them and to fall down on their knees and worship them.

I think the Christians of today, accustomed to this imaginary conception of a perfect, omnipotent god, would be absolutely terrified to see the real gods come down on their chariots and thrones, the gods who are, like, thirty feet tall, or whatever, and who have extremely advanced technological magic and ‘ascended abilities.’ Or seventy feet tall, or a hundred feet tall. There are literally giant aliens with advanced technology.

So, I am not an atheist! And I am certainly not an agnostic! But I’m not really a Christian either, that’s for sure. I can just kind of tolerate and go along with Christianity, usually if I care about some other person who is involved with it, and not so much by myself.

Oh well, I’ll go ahead and post this.

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4 Responses to “Omg. The laundry DEFINITELY helped. Musing about unscientific woo-woo and wondering if I should do any of it. Giant flying gods on burning chariots descending from the clouds.”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Stop blaming the universe and take responsibility for your own actions!

    No matter who does what to you, you are still responsible for your reaction to it!

  2. Anonymous Says:

    How popular is retmeishka.wordpress.com?

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  3. Nicole Says:

    My reaction has been, all this time, ‘to endure,’ no matter what anyone does to me. But I learned that there are some things that I cannot control, especially my chronic fatigue syndrome – the fatigue makes it very hard for me to respond to any kind of crisis or difficulty at all. I can’t handle challenges anywhere near as well as I would like to. I used to be much healthier years ago, so I still have this idea in my mind that I should have the potential to do much better.

  4. Nicole Says:

    The site gets a lot of views on particular posts that I wrote years ago while under the influence of more drugs (St. John’s Wort, an antidepressant which I am no longer using), because the things I wrote about while on drugs were sort of more entertaining. One of my most popular, and also most disappointing, posts is one where I complained about men who want to be a woman’s slave.

    There are also a whole lot of people who are looking for some posts I wrote where I complained about the cash register system used by McDonald’s, a system called NewPos, because there are no websites where you can actually find out anything about NewPos from the people who made it, and it truly was a horrible computer program for running a cash register – thousands of McD employees agree with me about how awful it is.

    My blog stats tell me that people all over the planet, in all different countries, come to the blog, and most of them just briefly look at something because a search engine took them here, but I think they usually can’t find much of anything because of the way the site is set up, so they do one pageview and then they leave. A couple of my friends and family also read it – my brother reads it, and an old ex-boyfriend from many years ago reads it, and they can’t read the entire posts because they’re too long, but they tell me they always skim it just to see how I’m doing, see if I’m alive, and get a general idea of what’s going on.

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