caffeine pill today; obesity, the afterlife, failing at my mission, reincarnation, and rubber band-like loops of energy formed into knots

11:23 AM 5/14/2017

I took a caffeine pill this morning, but it’s not even doing very much for me at all. I can’t explain why, because it’s been a long time since I used a caffeine pill, and withdrawing from caffeine enables you to respond strongly the next time you use it. All it has done so far is get me out of bed and helped me read stuff on the internet, but that’s about all that caffeine ever did for me. It makes me move faster, which puts more stress on the joints: physical machines get more forces on them when they have fast moving parts. It’s like running a motor at high speed rather than low speed. But I can’t feel the pain because caffeine numbs pain.

I was researching obesity, specifically the way women in Mauritania are force fed.

I’m also thinking about goitrogens. Kale is a goitrogen, and I was drinking green smoothies at the time when I suddenly got fat in the summer of 2016. I have had experiences with vegetables and grains causing severe thyroid depression, such as millet (which caused a tooth to break off, even though I wasn’t crunching anything hard at the time), which caused me to become extremely fatigued for weeks, and the green smoothies made with kale, which also caused me to become extremely fatigued.

I have other theories for what I did to suddenly become fat in the summer of 2016. I kissed a fat guy, and fat could be caused by a contagious virus or bacteria. I could use probiotics or something.

I also began using olive leaf for sexual purposes around that time, and it causes bloating. But olive oil does too, if it’s fresh and if it comes from real olives, and that never triggered a sudden, *intractable* obesity like what I have now. For many years, the fatness has been sort of flexible and changing depending on what I was doing. Now, however, this fat seems more hard and solid than before, and won’t go away no matter what I do or don’t do.

I wanted to try to go swimming today.

I also drank my one and only cup of alcohol while working at Kaarma, and this is what I believe, more than anything else, probably caused the permanent intractable belly fat. You can’t find this information on the internet, because the alcohol industry has spammed the entire internet with troll garbage. Alcohol causes severe and intractable obesity, but for some reason, not for everyone all the time, only for some individuals. This was fermented milk, sour raita, given to me as a gift by the people at Kaarma during the time when they were giving me drinks.

I didn’t know what it was when I drank it, but after tasting that it was alcohol, I got rid of the rest of it, although I had a few sips. Still, I am a teetotaller who never drank any alcohol at all, not even sips, except a few sips of beer to taste it, and the sips of wine at church, and the number of times I did this was countable on my fingers. This experience gave me reason to believe that lifelong teetotalling is the only way to prevent weight gain from alcohol – never drink even a single sip of it at all. Assume it is a deadly poison that will kill you instantly at a dosage of even a single drop.

I have many theories about what caused the hard, intractable belly fat to form in the summer of 2016 over a period of one month. But goitrogenic vegetables are one theory. I have seen vegetarians who were intractably fat in spite of being vegetarians for a long time, and they are probably eating kale, broccoli, and other goitrogenic vegetables in the cruciferous vegetable family. This stupidity in our society results from limiting the number of varieties and the number of plant families we eat from. We eat from an extremely tiny, and ever narrowing number of plant families, when we ought to be eating from the millions and millions of different plants that exist out there that are edible. Variety is healthy. That’s the general rule. If you are eating from only three plant families, you’re getting the same chemicals over and over again, including the goitrogens in the cruciferous family. Vegetarians almost always rely on kale and broccoli as ‘healthy’ foods that they are ‘supposed’ to eat because they are ‘superfoods.’ I view kale as a superpoison.

There are so many other leafy greens that are extremely high in nutrients, such as watercress, butter lettuce (vitamin K), and just about any leafy green except iceberg lettuce. Basically, avoid relying on nothing but iceberg lettuce, and avoid the popular types of lettuce in general, including the slightly less popular romaine lettuce (which nonetheless ranks healthier than iceberg lettuce), and the slightly less popular ‘spring mix’ (which still has a few more vitamins than iceberg lettuce). There are still SO MANY ALTERNATIVES that people are not using, including wild greens and weeds like amaranth.

I have things I absolutely need to do. The caffeine takes away my anxiety, making me feel that all is well, even though everything is not well at all, and my life is on a long slide into death and failure. I can see the future, and I know that I will wander around doing nothing and wasting time because of chronic fatigue and electronic weapon attacks, for the rest of my life, unless something huge changes. It is also because of money slavery wasting every hour of my life.

I have ideas for what needs to be done to fix our society, and LIBERATING PEOPLE’S FREE TIME is one of the biggest solutions. People need to stop working at their jobs, and work on their own lives instead. It takes less time to hunt and forage for foods than it does to work at a slave job. We need the entire society to be planted with edible plants, including the less familiar edible plants like the edible weeds, everywhere, on every inch of wasted lawn, on every inch of mowed grass. Then we need to populate it with self-sufficient wild animals that are adapted to our climate and don’t need to be fed or cared for at all in order to survive, and hunt those animals for food. We can do some things to increase their population or make life easier for them, for instance, if we can build shelters for them to live in – just an idea – I do not know whether the ability to find shelter is crucial for animal populations to increase, but if we could build high-density condominiums for animals, in some way (not necessarily literally, but… maybe even literally), wouldn’t that be awesome? Anything that increases the self-sufficient wild animal population.

Thinking about humanoid aliens: There are aliens who developed from every type of imaginable animal species, like the squid-like aliens on the ‘comedy’ movie (which I actually enjoyed taking seriously) ‘Galaxy Quest.’ If you are eating animals, then you are going to be eating something that offends somebody somewhere because it resembles an ancestor of theirs. It would be like seeing someone eating monkeys or apes, except they would have to have less of a resemblance to hominids. Hominids have hands with fingers. All the monkeys have fingers, even on their feet. The fingers develop into something that can handle tools. So on other planets there would be fingered fish who are not yet intelligent, and those fingered fish are like the ‘monkeys’ that we have on earth. Fish with fingers are able to climb trees at the edge of the water or something. Monkeys have fingers to climb trees. What other activity would cause an animal to need fingers? What about animals living in the water?

I know I’ll never be able to resolve the conflict between vegans and omnivores, and I know I will be an omnivore for the rest of my life, although I may ‘tweak’ the diet in many different ways, for instance, to include insects, or to eat *less* meat, or to go without milk, and so on. But I have strong reasons to believe that at least *some* meat is necessary, especially for childbirth and especially for total subsistence in areas without transportation. We do not import vegetables all winter long from sunny countries down south, and so, we eat meats. Eating variety is the key. Variety is the healthiest rule of nutrition, the most important overall universal rule. Variety characterizes primitive hunter gatherer diets. It changes with every moon as the various foods come and go in their seasons.

I also don’t agree 100% with the modern Weston Pricers, although I do use their information and I respect their knowledge. I am able to learn from them without agreeing word-for-word with every single thing they advocate doing.

I think I have an interest in ‘water aliens’ and ‘insect aliens’ because I feel a need to confront the ‘worst case scenario’ of things that are extremely strange, extremely different, and extremely inconceivable. What is the most alien type of creature you can possibly imagine, which has become intelligent and able to develop a tool using civilization? I also need to understand how ‘energy beings’ are able to live without bodies. Is energy like a loop?

Oh, that’s what I was thinking about last night. Energy goes in loops instead of waves. It flows, like it comes from one pole of the magnet to the other pole in a constant moving river. It does not just spread outwards like a wave to dissipate from the dead body. I am taught to picture energy as spreading waves that dissipate into chaos, and so, when the body dies, the energy created by the bioelectromagnetic body will dissipate as a wave that spreads in all directions and becomes weaker and weaker over the distance.

My benevolent angel, whoever it was, that was talking to me in the middle of the night for a short time, and only once and probably never again, – I seem to pick up these benevolent angels temporarily after going to a new church that I’ve never been to before, after even merely going inside an empty church – I picked them up (although they were incompatible with my personality) after I went into the empty Episcopalian church to cry and meditate after my cat Max died – I think that was when this happened. I felt and saw these amorphous forms floating in the darkness above me inside the church. St. Paul’s Episcopal Church.

Anyway this angel said to me that maybe energy goes in loops which are solid and stable and do not just spread out like a wave to dissipate. This is probably the ‘third alternative to the particle/wave duality’ that I was being urged to think about a few weeks ago, which I didn’t really write about in my blog. Moving or spinning loops, or spinning geometric forms, are mentioned in David Wilcock’s books as a model of the atom. These forms change shape with ‘frequency,’ but the word ‘frequency’ is overused and overhyped so much that nobody knows what it is.

So with the string theory of energy, we have spinning rubber bands that are also knotted. Knots of flowing energy. What about the vortex theory? Spinning vortices are temporary, but they can be stable for a relatively long time. Knots, the… the… topology of knots. Knots that have no ends and cannot be untied. They are sealed shut at both ends. They intertwine in many places. They can be expanded or contracted. I couldn’t remember the word ‘topology.’

I just need a theory, a model, that describes *HOW* the energy survives after the death of the body, and how it retains its memory and its identity, and how it enters a new body during incarnation, and how it merges into other pools of energy in different layers of reality.

I wouldn’t be preoccupied with this so much, except that I know my life is hopeless. I am going to fail at every single mission that I have either given to myself or have been given by others, due to chronic fatigue syndrome, unavoidable electronic weapon attacks, and the need to earn money as a money slave in our society where we cannot obtain free food or free land to live on. I know my life will fail. I’m 42, and my body is already falling apart due to the things I have done to survive so far, my hip joints and my teeth, destroyed by caffeine and other chemicals. There is almost no likelihood that I will ever do the things I fantasize about, such as starting an intentional religion called Anaya, which is intended to permanently improve the world of the future. The likelihood of this happening in reality is extremely small due to the overwhelming factors I mentioned above. I am being attacked with evil and prevented from thinking a single thought. I have chronic fatigue and cannot do anything at all except struggle to sleep more and more.

There was a theory that high cranial pressure causes fatigue. I do actually feel like I have too much pressure in my head. This is caused by the Weston Price deformity of having a too small opening from the skull into the spine, so that fluids cannot flow freely into the spinal column during sleep, to wash out the wastes inside the brain, when the caverns open up inside the brain while you’re asleep. The wastes are clogged inside my brain, causing me to need sleep all day long. The ‘apnea’ is not merely when you stop breathing, it’s when the liquids also stop flowing easily through your brain, your skull, your neck, your spine, all the lymphatic fluids and all the cerebrospinal fluids, due to this extremely small, deformed hole in the bottom of the skull, combined with chronic inflammation of the brain and the spine from vaccines and other infections and probably the herpes virus and the other one that I can’t remember the name of, which is almost universal. Cytomegalovirus? I think maybe. Chronic viruses cause inflammation of the brain, and for me, it got worse after I was attacked by someone from Craigslist and forced to get rabies a couple years ago, and then was forced to get the rabies shot.

However, draining fluid from the spine with a lumbar puncture or whatever is also dangerous. You do not want to poke holes in there to drain fluids, because poking holes into anything at all introduces air, bacteria, chemicals, and other things that will never get out of there once they’re in there. Draining the brain fluid was something that people were claiming gave them relief from chronic fatigue, and it was extremely effective for them, but it is a dangerous treatment. I don’t remember the specific words and names for this. I read about it a few years ago.

Anyway, I know I’m preoccupied with life after death now, because I am certain that I am going to fail every single mission that I have in life due to factors I can’t control. The only hope is to be reincarnated into a new body; however, don’t take me the wrong way – I am NOT SUICIDAL and have sworn never to commit suicide for any reason, although there might be some unthinkable circumstances where it would be okay, but this would be an extremely small number of circumstances. I intend to live until the very last possible second, and my life will have to be ripped away from me by some force more powerful than I am, whatever that force may be.

Okay, I guess I will post this. I had a vivarin pill today. All it has done is make me write an extremely long blog.


7 Responses to “caffeine pill today; obesity, the afterlife, failing at my mission, reincarnation, and rubber band-like loops of energy formed into knots”

  1. nebbie916 Says:

    Spaying and castrating animals also causes intractable obesity.

    Do you have a Facebook account?

    If so, here is a good Facebook group pertaining to responsibly caring for intact cats to be joining.

    Hormonally Intact and Responsible: Cats Facebook group page:

  2. Anonymous Says:

    you tried cocaine

  3. Anonymous Says:

  4. Anonymous Says:

  5. Nicole Says:

    No, no, I didn’t try cocaine. I had a hypothesis that cocaine might produce residues on the skin of people who use it, as in, when the body excretes wastes through the skin. I have experiences with *other* drugs and substances being excreted from one person’s skin, and absorbed into my own skin after I touch that person. So I hugged Jesse who did use cocaine, and I had some symptoms that I thought might come from his hypothetical cocaine residues on his skin. I don’t have enough experience with cocaine or cocaine users to be sure whether it produces absorbable skin residues or not, I only know that other drugs do, like psychiatric drugs.

  6. Nicole Says:

    Believe me, if I tried cocaine, everyone would be hearing about it.

  7. Nicole Says:

    Eww, they even have this weird chicken-rooster thing holding a firehose. That just feels pizzagate-ish to me. I’m not sure where Kecksburg is. I’ll google that and read about it. Why is this picture a chicken though? That disturbs me.

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