Remembering that I cared about getting a better job

I had this feeling tonight that I am not happy about going to work at 7:00 am tomorrow. I did tell the manager that I was now available to work at all hours, not just evenings and overnights, but even so, I am not happy about the morning shifts. The last one I did went by extremely slowly, and I had to learn lots of new things. In some ways this is good – I need to learn all about making the food, so that I can be more confident and less painful doing it at other times. But at the same time, I hate it.

I hate the job because it is not ergonomic, and some of these not-ergonomic things are completely insane. Let me give an example of this insanity, the worst thing that annoys me the most. We have these labels that we put on the food that we make and package and put in the cooler, like sandwiches. Instead of having a database with the names of the food products and their prices, which can be updated as necessary, which connects to a label printer – instead of that, we have these premade labels which are all in a huge mess of folders under the counter. When you need to label the sandwiches and things you made, you have to dig through all that huge mess of premade labels.

I have never seen anything like this at any job I have ever done in my life. Almost twenty years ago when I started working at Giant grocery store, they had label printers that would print out labels for all the bread that I had to package. It’s true, the labels were black and white and generic, but it’s possible to put a colored label of some sort on it which is the same for everything and has our logo or something on it. The point is, whatever we gain by having a pretty colorful label is totally offset by the fact that we have to spend many frustrating minutes digging these labels out of these folders, and when we don’t have the right ones, we cross things off with a pen and write what the food really is on there.

So that particular thing bothers me. Also, making all the food is not ergonomic, and for an explanation of that, I suggest watching ‘The Founder,’ the movie about how McDonald’s started. It has a painful ending, where Ray Kroc ‘wins’ against the original creators of McDonald’s, the McDonald brothers. But nevertheless it is
informative, albeit unpleasant. McDonald’s did everything to be as ergonomic as possible. The workflow was perfectly smooth. I worked there for many years, and even though McDonald’s in general has really gone to hell over the years, it still has a relatively efficient workflow. I am constantly wishing that I could set things up somehow to make it work better, but that would require me going all the way to the top and choosing which kinds of foods we are going to sell, how we are going to advertise them, and so on – I would have to be a high level manager to make the kinds of decisions that I feel I need to make in order to fix this, but I have no desire to be a high level manager there.

Matthew delivered one message for me, in his brief flash of light when I knew him. He suggested that I start working as an Uber driver, but use a rented car to do it. I actually was totally willing to give this a try, I just had to get other stuff settled first – I couldn’t do it right away. In all truth, it probably doesn’t have to be that specific thing. The idea was, anything other than what I am doing.

My hips are decayed and damaged beyond repair. If I don’t get hip implants in the next couple decades, I will have to be in a wheelchair with something to hold my hips in place because they are going to slip out of joint. This is because I have used so many caffeine pills while being malnourished, and probably also because of plastic dental fillings leaching bisphenol-A. I don’t know if that destroys bones or not, but it’s a good theory – it’s caused by chemicals and
malnutrition, is the basic idea. I’m also riding bikes, and I never should have ridden bikes – they are not natural, they are not a natural movement for the legs, and if they are not ergonomic, they destroy you even more.

It’s hard for me to stand up all day and walk around at my job. I can do it, and it should improve now that I’ve quit caffeine, but I do still have some hip pain. This can’t be fixed without surgery or advanced technology that will cause my bones to regenerate – oh, wait, we aren’t allowed access to that technology. So never mind. Surgery or an exoskeleton.

I don’t want implanted objects leaching even more chemicals into my body.

Something in my life has to change. Matthew is gone and he cannot be part of encouraging that change. Duals change you like nothing else on earth. They motivate you in ways that nobody else can, but only if you really love them passionately, not if you just kind of like them in a lukewarm way.

I know I’ve gotta finish these antibiotics – and no, my infection is still not gone, I can feel it, although maybe it’s less bad – and I’m getting worried about whether it will be gone by the time I’m done with these antibiotics. I’m really not sure. I’m going to be extremely frustrated if it’s not gone. I’m not at my best right now and will be feeling somewhat sick and tired for the next few days. I hope, I really hope, I can get rid of this infection now, because I don’t want to keep getting more antibiotics again. I want to MOVE ON. I have other very important projects and tasks to do!

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