How is a lump sum of money qualitatively different than the small biweekly or whatever payments I get?

‘Biweekly’ and ‘semiweekly’ are what I’m mixing up. I keep thinking ‘biweekly’ means twice a week. I’m trying to say, once every two weeks. I hate being paid once every two weeks and would rather it be a daily payment. There are some idiots out there that say that it’s GOOD for you to have biweekly payments and you should be happy about it. I don’t agree with those idiots; however, there is a tiny grain of truth in their argument.

I have been thinking about how a lump sum of money is qualitatively different for me, such that the feeling it generates is different from my normal feelings. I actually feel *hope* when I think that I might possibly inherit a few thousand dollars from Mom. I don’t have the slightest idea how much it will be, but it might possibly be enough to, say, put a down payment on a piece of land.

I wrote some notes in notepad:

8:44 PM 4/21/2017

I am asking why it would make me feel slightly hopeful about the future to imagine that I am going to get *some* kind of inheritance, even though I don’t know how much it’s going to be. Why does that amount of money make me feel differently than the small amounts of money I earn every week?

If something can be done on impulse, then it will succeed. If it requires careful long-term preparation, then it is going to fail. I have failed for 20 years in this town because everything I tried to do required careful long-term preparation, which is always constantly being destroyed by the soul murderers.

However, a moderate amount of money means that I can impulsively, on a whim, without worrying about how much time I have left, pack up all my belongings in a car, and travel someplace else, and start a new life someplace else, suddenly, without having to think about any of it. If I have to think about it, it’s going to fail.

The constant interruptions, the constant recurring job losses, disasters, everything, always destroy the tiny fragments of money that I am able to save. I cannot even save enough to decide what I will spend it on that will have the most impact, and by then, something else will have distracted me, or some new emergency or disaster will happen.

In order to cause me to destroy a large amount of money, they will have to increase the order of magnitude of the disasters. I don’t know if they will. These disasters are mostly just job losses that result in losing huge amounts of money paying rent and for food.

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2 Responses to “How is a lump sum of money qualitatively different than the small biweekly or whatever payments I get?”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    Your parents were well off and lived a modest lifestyle so you most likely will receive a nice inheritance. With that said if they took the appropriate steps they would have it placed in a trust with a trustee you would distribute money if you meet certain conditions.

  2. Nicole Says:

    Yeah, that’s kind of what Dad is working on now. Lots of paperwork.

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