Matthew is God’s receptionist, or call director, or desk clerk

I’m waiting in this line and I’m the hundredth person in line. We’re all standing between those velvet ropes, waiting for hours to see the desk clerk. When we do finally get there, Matthew’s job is to make every person sign a piece of paper that says “I accept Jesus Christ as my lord and savior, amen.” You sign it, he rubber stamps it, and then he tells you, “Go down that hallway to office #777. God is in there and he’ll help you with your problem.” It doesn’t matter what exactly your problem is. Everyone gets sent to that same office. Well, I go down this hallway looking for office #777, and I can’t find the office at all. There is a huge mass of people in the hall and I can’t even get through. They are utterly miserable, sick, dying, suffering in every way. Somebody started a rumor that they may have actually seen an office door that says #777, and they knocked on it but God didn’t answer. So I go back to the desk clerk and I say, “These people are all dying here in the hallway waiting for God!” Matthew says, “That’s okay, you’ve got your piece of paper and it’s been officially rubber stamped. It’s okay to die there as long as you just keep praying to God the whole time you’re dying. Then after you die you’ll go to heaven and even if you didn’t find him in office #777, you’ll *definitely* see him when you go to heaven after you die. Move along please. There are other people waiting in line here, you know.” I don’t blame Matthew for this. He’s just doing his job. Somebody gave him a chair, a desk, a rubber stamp, some pens, and told him what to say to every single person who comes to the desk.

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