Oops. Not benefactor. Supervisor!

I spent some more time with Matthew. He’s not an LII-INTJ, he’s an ESE-ESFj. I use Hitta’s chart, possibly called Model B, the 16 component model, which explains why supervisions can be attractive. I informed him, in a text, that I have an infection. I was unable to hug him today. He helped me move some stuff out of my tent. The only thing I could do was take his hand before he left, and I was sad to see him go. At least I held his hand. Half knowing socionics is accurate, and half knowing that I’m drawn to him anyway, and having a feeling of shameful worthlessness, which is partly because of my infection and possibly partly being transmitted by him, because he has expressed things that made him feel worthless enough to die, and half knowing (yes, okay three halves) that whatever happened, it was because of the Prozac, but Prozac withdrawal is even more dangerous – It was Prozac. It… Was… Prozac. Prozac is the demon of hell and I know because I took it, but quitting it suddenly is … potentially deadly. It was the Prozac, Matthew. It wasn’t you. I’m glad you lived. And his music is beautiful.


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