When I’m Dictator

I will also outlaw “psychological pricing,” another free-market invention. I’ve talked to sane, decent, likeable human beings who habitually and blindly use psychological pricing, ending everything with 9, just because that’s how it’s done. They’re so in the habit of ending everything with 99 cents that it doesn’t occur to them in their wildest dreams how sweet, wondrful, convenient, and easy it would be to go grocery shopping and be able to clearly and instantly understand the meaning of all the prices without having to do mental gymnastics. If it’s $4, then don’t call it $3.99. Think this is a mere trivial pet peeve of mine, do you? Then you’ll be laughing all the way to jail when I’m dictator, because psychological pricing is illegal in my world. A harsh response is the only way to completely end this insane tradition once and for all. Then again, I’ve also outlawed some things that might be taken more seriously by a few people, such as banning circumcision of all humans regardless of age and regardless of “consent.” It is no longer legal to “consent” to having body parts permanently removed. Tobacco and alcohol are also illegal, as are psychiatric drugs. We provide a drug withdrawal center where people can quit

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