a dream about goats needing shelter; just survive this week of hell – it’ll get better soon

5:09 PM 3/15/2017

I wonder what ‘the gift’ is? The voices were talking about it, and then they suggested that I go look at a particular forum which I had once seen linked to in a comment on a Divine Cosmos page. It was ‘eagles disobey.’ It turns out there are several pages calling themselves that and there was a scandal or controversy about which one was the real thing, or something, and some faction of people broke away from some other faction, but I don’t know the details. Anyway these people were saying there’s going to be some kind of a ‘gift’ soon and it will be a big deal, in the realm of

I had a dream in the last couple days. I don’t know which day it was. I was helping these goats get into shelter. The goats were chained up. I think one goat was black, but I forget what color the other goat was. They were chained to a small shelter that was two stories tall, but still very tiny, just a little shed or mini barn.

It was snowing and horribly cold and the wind was blowing, just like in real life right now. I went there with some friend, I forget who, and we were untangling the goats’ chains. The chains had gotten tangled up and the goats weren’t able to go all the way back to the warm places, so they were lying on the sort of vented floor, like a porch, where the rails have spaces between them, and cold air is blowing through, and the goats were trying to reach all the way to the place with the little carpet on it covering the slats. We untangled their chains so that they could get there and lie down, and then we put coats over them. I guess it was a joke, ‘goats with coats.’

I know all the words and images used in the dream are symbolic and I never like anything symbolic because it’s always something sexual, but I loved these goats so much. They were so sweet and I wanted to make sure they were okay in this horrible weather.

In real life, I do actually want to own goats, if I can’t own a free roaming wild herd of whitetail deer, buffalo, elk, and other native wild animals. Goats will do, at least a few. Goats are probably cheapest and easiest to obtain. I don’t know how much it costs to restock an area with native local wildlife, but they probably are expensive and hard to find. Goats are a relatively cheap farm aniimal in the big scheme of things, yet they provide perfectly good subsistence food, milk, and they will eat any kind of weeds and aren’t picky.

I have been having more vivid dreams ever since I touched that woman at the store who was probably on psychiatric drugs, and got myself contaminated, and some of the dreams have been disgusting and evil.

I really desperately need a decon. I must wait till I get in the apartment. Everything will be so much easier. I will be able to shower every day, which makes decon much, much easier. I will also be close to a washer and dryer, I assume, in the building, although I didn’t ask if we had one. It’s theoretically possible we don’t.

I have to go talk with this girl again on Friday. It was supposed to be today, but she wanted to meet in the morning, and there was no hope of me getting up this morning. It is horribly freezing, the wind is blowing the snow all around, and my right shoe suddenly decided, right now, for the sole to come unglued from the bottom so it is flopping open like a puppet mouth, and I don’t know where the duct tape is, and can’t go digging in the bags of stuff when the tent is below freezing (although it’s warmer than outside). So I wore my big socks on the outside of the shoes, which I did once before experimentally, and that worked to keep the ‘mouth’ shut on the shoe sole. It isn’t the end of the world when it’s flopping, except it gets snow in it, which become a big hard rock of snow.

Ugh, this keyboard. I need a new separate keyboard that I can plug in to my laptop.

I need to try to wash some laundry and comb my hair today. My hair is one huge giant wad because it wasn’t braided.

I am just enduring this week of hell. The weather prediction just says it’s going to stay freezing all week long, just barely going above freezing at all, with gradual increases of a degree or two. I just have to survive. That is all I have to do. I am not near death, I am just very inconvenienced and uncomfortable. (The ‘b’ key isn’t working, so if you notice a lot of words with a ‘b’ missing, that is why – I’m trying to catch the typos.) I just have to drag myself to work. I just have to show up. Even if I do badly at work, even if I am unenergetic, even if I am functioning badly, all that matters for now is that I show up, and I will do better a few weeks from now when it’s warm and when I’m in an apartment and getting decontaminated.

I just loved those little goats in the dream. In real life, I wouldn’t just be leaving them in such a cold place like that. They would be much more sheltered.

I wonder how the wild deer and all that survive this? I have always wondered. I think they actually benefit from shelters too, and we would greatly increase the population of wildlife if we built artificial deer shelters all over the place, thousands of them. They probably used some kind of giant fallen tree that doesn’t exist anymore because we destroyed the forests, or something.

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