writing in the middle of the night

4:35 AM 3/9/2017

I’ve had a couple different things I wanted to talk about, but wasn’t feeling well enough in the last couple days to write much. I think I was exposed to a toxic substance that was making me extremely tired, but I have a theory about what it was. I think it was something I was cleaning at work. If I clean that again I will have to make sure to wear gloves or else wash my hands better afterwards or something, and observe whether the extreme exhaustion comes back. I don’t know for sure.

I’m still looking for an apartment. Supposedly I have scheduled an appointment to go see one tomorrow. I don’t really want to be picky and wait a long time to choose one apartment out of a whole bunch of them. That will have to be the *next* apartment hunt, not this one. During this one, I will just get into whatever I can get into. Then, when I am choosing an apartment to sign up for in the future, instead of a sublet, then I will have time to choose a good one, in advance.

I am just waiting for this one project to get done. Once I’ve moved into an apartment, a few things in my life will be easier.

Every time I think about this, I want to clarify something. I do NOT believe that ‘living in an apartment’ is a necessity, not the way other people believe it, and I do not believe there is something inherently bad about the way I am living in the woods. So I have to explain why I want to live in an apartment.

Where I am camping in the woods, I cannot build infrastructure. Safe, secure infrastructure is essential for all progress to occur. You have to have a safe location where nobody will invade it and wreck it and destroy it. Since I do not ‘own,’ quote unquote, this particular piece of the woods I live in, I am constantly vulnerable to retarded neighbors coming along and finding my tent and calling the police, who will then come in and slash holes in it.

In a primitive world, this would not happen, not like that. It would be taken for granted as normal that there are little houses in the woods all around a little village, but nobody has a ‘title’ to a little square of land with little property markers around it and a map on a piece of paper in a government office showing the exact shape of the property and who paid taxes on it and so on.

I have this weird memory from West Virginia of Mom finding these little metal rods sticking up out of the ground in the woods, which were at the corners and edges of people’s properties, the property markers. They would be impossible to find if you didn’t already know where they were, because they were just short small rusted metal pipes sticking up out of the ground, if I recall. I need to google this and see if this is a real memory or not.

In a primitive village, you would still be vulnerable to hostile people destroying your home, just as you are now in modern society. But it wouldn’t be based on whether you ‘owned’ a piece of land or not. Maybe you’re too far away from your village’s cluster of houses, and a hostile group nearby attacks you. Maybe one of the sociopaths in your own community attacks you – they called them ‘sorcerers’ because they used knowledge to harm people, secretly poisoning people and that kind of thing, exactly like socipaths in modern society.

I need to know that I can safely build infrastructure without being attacked. I need places to process food. I need to organize my belongings. I need to keep things clean and dry. In order to do all that, I have to set things up and build things.

So that is why I am moving into an apartment even though I don’t believe in it and I don’t believe there is something inherently wrong or inherently impossible or undesirable about living in the woods. I could do it if I ‘owned’ the land and knew I was safe from attack.

There won’t be any progress in my life at all unless infrastructure is built.

Ideally, in my society, safe infrastructure would have a chance to keep growing. However, I don’t like infrastructure that is permanent and unremovable, which interferes with nature. I don’t like highways. They constantly kill wandering animals, and wandering animals are an essential part of my vision of what life should be like. Wandering animals are a food source making us self-reliant. We don’t have to import food because we have wild herds of deer, elk, buffalo, and other animals to hunt, and turkeys, and pheasants, and everything they used to hunt long ago. These animals must never be hit by cars. Cars kill *millions* of wild animals.

Well, if we have flying vehicles and portals, then we won’t need so many highways made of asphalt and concrete.

But I was just reading about a concept flying vehicle – not a real one, just a design – and of course, it uses artificial intelligence, because nobody could EVER be allowed to just freely fly a vehicle around in three dimensional space. Of course not. Everyone is too stupid to operate a flying vehicle on their own. That’s what they think.

I was thinking about permaculture and about how it’s possible to increase the surface area of the earth by making lumps and ridges of any kind, mountains, hills. You can have exactly the same amount of soil, but if you make it have a lumpy surface, it will have tons more surface area than a flat surface, so you can plant crops on it. You won’t be harvesting them with a giant machine that can only drive over a flat surface. It won’t be a single monocrop sprayed with
pesticides.

They do something where they bury a wooden log in a pile of soil, and then plant things on top of it. The plants grow into the soil and then into the rotting log underground, which provides a lot of nutrients. I think it’s ‘hugelkultur,’ some foreign word.

I really am having a stupid brain day, and a stupid brain time period. I have noticed the last couple times I’ve wanted to write about something I have felt mentally unfocused, unenergetic, and unable to really think of whatever I wanted to say.

Why would the authorities be afraid of disclosure? They can disclose all the technology, but not name any names. No one will be implicated in anything evil that they can be blamed for. The only people who hear about the disclosure will be the powerless slaves who read stuff on the internet, and not anybody who has actual power to put people in jail.

Look at what’s happened with Pizzagate, Podesta, Alefantis – all of them have been convicted by the helpless powerless slaves who read the internet, but not a single one has actually been thrown in jail, although *other* groups of people involved in sex trafficking and pedophile rings are being thrown in jail. Just not high profile names. I guess Sandusky’s adopted son counts as another high profile name. He would’ve been here in State College although I knew nothing about him and didn’t go anywhere near the world of Penn State Football.

So, disclosure could be just like that. It won’t shock anybody! Don’t worry about this idea that people are going to be shocked to death and having heart attacks (Buzz Aldrin’s heart attack was caused by physical forces, not emotional or psychological ones – if it’s true that he was taken in a spacecraft, and if it’s true that it speeded up really quickly, that means it was improperly designed. It needs to be designed so that g-forces don’t affect you. Duh! They can’t possibly be zipping around in flying saucers and making instant 180-degree directional changes without damping any g-forces!). Oh, by the way, I’ve been reading web pages about UFO disclosure, which is where this is coming from.

Anyway, don’t worry about disclosure scaring people, because the only people who ever SEE the disclosure will be the SELF-SELECTED SAMPLES who CHOOSE to read about it on the internet. You may freely release videos containing specific images of specific locations and living alien creatures, because the only people who will see those videos are the people who choose to go looking for them. Why hide it from people who want to see it and are voluntarily looking for it, on the basis that you believe it will ‘shock people?’ That makes no sense. We watch horror movies, on purpose. We seek out these kinds of things. We are not going to be traumatized by the sight of unusual looking nonhuman creatures, and unusual looking civilizations. The idiots who are too narrow-minded who are going to have stroke when they hear disclosure are also the very same people who never bother reading anything about it on the internet. They won’t see anything by accident, and if they did, they’d just say it was fake and would change the channel instantly. Oh look, some guy dressed up as a fake alien. Let’s watch something more boring instead.

So this alleged fear that something horrible will happen to society if they disclose the truth about aliens and all that is bullcrap.

But they don’t hesitate to ‘disclose’ once again the information about the fact that the CIA is ‘watching everyone.’ They’re totally shameless and proud about that. They WANT us to know we’re being watched. They’re not the slightest bit concerned that we’re going to be outraged and we’re going to ‘DO SOMETHING’ about it. We can’t. We’re all powerless slaves who have been successfully subjugated! We CAN’T do anything about it. We only need to be reminded once in a while that perverts are looking through our turned-off webcams so that we will ‘test’ them by interacting with them and showing off for them. People are much more interesting when they know they’re being watched and they try to interact with the watchers. This is the only ‘disclosure’ we are allowed to get, because it serves their purposes and they are HAPPY about it.

They are not ashamed. They didn’t ‘get caught’ by accident doing something evil. They just got bored by a country full of people who forgot that somebody was watching and listening to everything they did. Now they want more entertainment, because their entertainment wasn’t good enough, and they’ll get that entertainment from people who try to show off for the cameras (because they’re on drugs and are being mind controlled). This entertainment can only happen if people know they’re being watched. It is not at all against the government’s interests to have the entire society aware of the fact that every electronic device is constantly listening to them farting loudly when they go to the bathroom.

So, this particular ‘disclosure’ was put up on the mainstream media’s front page, shamelessly. If the mainstream media doesn’t hesitate in the slightest bit to put this on their front page, then it cannot possibly be real news! It is obviously something they want us to know, and if we know it, then it helps their evil agenda somehow.

Meanwhile, about pizzagate: all that we need are more and more hackers getting into those computers and looking at them and disclosing what they find in them. The internet can convict these people, and the internet can name their names and humiliate them, and that is the only punishment these child-murdering satanists will ever receive, because they won’t be thrown in jail. Let the internet convict them, then.

Oh, by the way, weirdly enough, I got called to jury duty, but it was written in a paper letter, and it took me weeks to get back to the UPS store to check my mail, so I assume it’s way too late by now to even have a chance to go to jury duty. I would never be allowed on a jury, because I have knowledge about all the things that they don’t allow jury members to know, I just forget what exactly those things are and I would have to read about them again. I know there are secret things that the government doesn’t want you to do if you’re ever on a jury, such as question the rightness of the law itself. You can say that the law itself is wrong, and therefore you can’t convict the person of a crime. You can do other things to undermine the government’s evil agenda, and if they find out that you know about those things, they will instantly throw you off the jury and choose somebody stupider. They only want idiotic sheeple on juries.

So they’ll give you a questionnaire when you go to jury duty, and the questionnaire will ask you if you know about anything, and if you say you know about any of this, they won’t let you get on the jury. You have to answer all the questions exactly the way an idiotic sheeply moron of mainstream society would answer them – ‘Derp de derr, yes, I love the government, the government is always right, everything the government does is always wonderful, I worship the law, the laws of our country are the greatest thing ever invented,’ and so on.

Anyway, so, the satanists have to be convicted by the internet, because they aren’t being, and won’t be, convicted by the real law and the real juries and the real courtrooms of the government, not the highest level satan worshippers in Washington DC. They *are* going after lower-level child sex slavery rings, and that is a good thing, if it is in fact really happening. I have been reading that they are catching hundreds and hundreds, or over a thousand, members of child sex trafficking groups. This is a good thing, even if they cannot confront the highest level Washington DC Federal
Pedophile-Rapist-Murdering-Satanist rings.

I have to clarify, these are not merely ‘pedophiles,’ and the word ‘pedophile’ does not describe what they are. There is a difference between someone who gets sexually aroused by images of children, maybe by watching a video; there is a difference between the local neighborhood child molester who is going into somebody’s house and molesting the children; there is someone else who uses drugs and Rohypnol and other things to make the children unable to resist; there is someone else who physically restrains children and kidnaps them and makes them disappear and takes them away from their families forever; there is someone who tortures children, physically causing them pain and terror; there are satanic rituals where they do all kinds of horrible things and torture, sometimes ending with murder.

Those are all different degrees of crimes, and the mere word ‘pedophilia’ cannot sum all that up. The child murderer who kidnaps, forcibly restrains, drugs, tortures, rapes, and eventually murders a child, and does this same thing routinely hundreds of times, is NOT the same level of crime as a creepy guy who is watching videos at home and getting aroused by them, but never interacting with real children at all. The word ‘pedophile’ does not capture the nuances of the different degrees of these crimes.

So I don’t really like it when they say they are catching ‘pedophile rings.’ That makes me a bit suspicious. What degree of this crime are they catching? The kidnappers? The torturers? The murderers? The satanists? Or are they catching people who are buying videos and watching them at home by themselves and never interacting with real children? I don’t know, and I can’t know this merely by seeing large numbers. I have seen large numbers – dozens and dozens of people arrested in some pedophile ring, some sex trafficking ring – what exactly are those people getting caught doing? I haven’t really tried to read about this. I have only been reading about it in a passive, haphazard way, especially now that I have a job again and not enough free time to research things online.

Well, I think I missed my chance to go to jury duty. I didn’t even know I had gotten the letter until, like, weeks and weeks late. I was having trouble getting to my mailbox, because it was cold outside. I can barely do anything when it’s cold outside. All I could do was drag myself to work, and back home, the last couple weeks.

I must get an apartment, somewhere, just to start again, to start making progress again. I will need a piece of land, wooded land, to live on and build my primitive house on, but I must know that it is safe and that nobody will disturb it.

Let me go to this scheduled appointment at one apartment tomorrow (later today, that is) – wish me luck – …

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