I hate everything about apartments, buildings, real estate, and so on. My strange vision of a plant-filled, sunlit, protected apartment building with free roaming animals and kids

7:49 PM 3/1/2017

I don’t remember exactly what I was going to write about. I’m sitting at Kat’s apartment right now. I asked her if I could come over and take a shower, and now I’m just using the internet and checking my email and stuff. It’s almost impossible to get replies from anyone about apartments, and trying to call someone on the phone in the daytime is extremely hard for me. I don’t have a copy of the phone number I need when I’m in the tent, usually, so I have to go someplace and get online to get a phone number. By the time I do that, it’s usually evening and not a good time to call places that close at 5pm.

We had a lot of rain today but there wasn’t a whole lot of thunder. There were only a few small flashes of lightning and thunder, but not enough to be absolutely terrifying. I went home to my tent, after staying up late last night at the laundromat, watching stuff on youtube, and I even started watching The Royal Tenenbaums again, but didn’t feel like sitting all the way through it.

I went home, and it was raining and the wind was blowing a little bit, but not much. Mostly it was just a downpour, and not the kind of thing where my tent tarp is flapping around making a lot of noise. So I somehow miraculously fell asleep, several times. I was very surprised each time I woke up and realized I had been asleep. I thought it was going to be horrible and it would be impossible to fall asleep. I had looked at the radar and seen all these storms coming and was expecting the absolute worst.

There are more storms tonight, but I am working overnight. Jacob will be alone in the tent with the storms.

I got one reply from someone who said ‘call this number’ instead of directly communicating with me. How nice. I got another response from one place where I wanted to live, but the smallest thing they have is expensive, and they don’t provide a roommate matching service and they don’t allow you to rent just one room in a multi-room apartment – you would be responsible for all three rooms. THAT’S what I wanted to complain about.

I don’t have quite enough ire or enough energy to complain about it, though. I’m just too tired and too comfortable right now to complain.

Okay – I copied the phone numbers from some low income apartments so that I can call them even when I’m offline. I have the numbers saved now.

I had to take a break and ask myself, ‘Why are you feeling so overwhelmed?’ I get this feeling that I just can’t do any more, when I’m looking for apartments. It’s because it’s always the wrong time to make phone calls, always too late at night or in the evening, after business hours. I can find lots of places, but can’t call them. Often, you can’t email them or else they won’t respond to emails. Or they can do like the Corl Street house did, and respond to my email by sending me a phone number to call, without even communicating anything in email, as though these people are illiterate and can’t write.

I hate everything about apartments. For some reason it’s hard for me to focus over here while I’m sitting at Kat’s apartment – I am trying to remember what it was that I wanted to write about, but I can’t remember.

I will list a few things.

I hate it that they are too big. Apartments need to be tiny. This is the result of a collusion between real estate agents who profit by selling larger pieces of land, and lawmakers, and other people who benefit by making laws that require our houses to be too big.

I hate it that in many places, your only option is to rent an entire apartment for several thousand dollars, then find roommates. It sucks to be you! ‘We don’t provide a roommate matching service, because we simply don’t give a fuck. If you’re too poor to pay $2,000 a month for a three bedroom apartment, and then struggle to find roommates to fill it, then you deserve to die, because we don’t want any poor people like you in this town.’

Who cares about the fact that six people are sharing one bathroom and one refrigerator. Not my problem! says the landlord. Who cares that your roommates steal food, or that they hog the entire fridge, leaving you with one tiny square-inch space back in the corner behind everyone else’s stuff, which they never eat and which sits there spoiling for months, including all the jars and bottles on the fridge door which have been there for ten years and have three drops in the bottom.

One thing that I will *not* do is live in Bellefonte again. I liked Bellefonte – it’s a nice, special place – but it’s too far from town. I don’t like having to drive 25 minutes to get to work every day, and to go shopping anywhere other than the tiny local Weis Market which doesn’t have a lot of selection. At least Bellefonte isn’t
fluoridating the water anymore like they were when I was there (and I didn’t know they were).

I just had to stop the apartment search for a few minutes. I just had this terrible feeling that I can’t stand to do this and I can’t do any more. I feel like I can’t choose which one I want, or something. I feel like I have to choose something I don’t like. I feel my heart being torn out if I am moving to a different location which is farther away from my friends and I know it will be harder to reach them. I’m not even that far away, just a short distance away, but it feels like a long way because I don’t have a car.

I actually have places where I want to live. Then there are lots of random places where apartments are available, but I haven’t lived there before and have no emotional connections or memories there, and so I am kind of neutral about them. I have certain areas in town where I have a lot of memories or a lot of people I know. There are other places where I haven’t lived, but which I know are okay, just unfamiliar. Life is different when you’re riding a bike and the bus – it’s not the same as when you can drive a car and be anywhere in five minutes.

My brain is really not working, and it’s very frustrating. I think I will eat some sage.

It’s very painful to choose something from among the options when actually *none* of them are what I really want. I know what I want. I have very clear visions of exactly what I want, and it does not exist.

What’s really available? Huge, empty rooms that I will never use, like this one I’m sitting in right now. A dozen more people could put up cots and sleep in here. (Actually, I heard from a driver at Maki Yaki, Joseph, that in one of the apartment buildings there were like 13 Chinese people packed into one room, and apparently the landlords never checked on them to see that they were violating the rules by having too many people there.)

But this empty room, this ‘living room,’ is never used. It has a TV that hardly anyone ever watches, which is a very long distance from a couple of chairs that no one ever sits on, against the opposite wall. It has a cat climbing structure that the cat never climbs, which looks very uncomfortable – I touched it, and the floors are so hard, no cat would ever want to curl up on there. There are cushiony bean bag chairs that no one sits in except the cat. This room is a ‘luxury’ room, but it is viewed as absolutely essential to have.

I don’t feel like talking about my memories of talking to people in a craigslist forum where I complained about the fact that the search engine filter was illogical – they had this ‘filter’ where you could get ‘at least x’ rather than ‘at most x.’ So, you could search for ‘at least one bedroom,’ and all the results you got would be for three bedrooms, with maybe one one-bedroom buried somewhere in the results – it sucks to be you, and the lunatics who I spoke to gave some babbling insanity as the explanation, to the effect of ‘More is always better, under all circumstances, and any sane person would choose to buy MORE rooms than they need, rather than FEWER or SMALLER.’ So, nothing would be filtered – the more you tried to filter out, the more results you got. I only want one room, but if I tried to search for “1+ rooms”, I would get all the results and have to sift through them manually, because they can’t grasp the concept that I want only one room and no roommates.

But what is my clear vision of what I want? What kind of place can I imagine myself building?

I am the builder. I design this building.

I am not doing anything strange with the architecture. Making crazy architecture or creative architecture is not my thing. I discovered this while playing Terraria. There are people of a particular socionic type who play that game and who make lots of creative architecture, but I don’t think that’s the same type I am. I would have a rectangular block that was most efficient in terms of space, very plain and simple, just boxes.

However, where it goes from there is completely different.

I want moss growing on the floor, live moss. What? For real? Yes, I want live moss growing on the floor, and I will do anything in my power to make that happen. There will be, I assure you, a cushion of live moss growing on all the floors throughout my apartment building. There will be skylights, and sunpipes. There will be water vapor everywhere – what??? You mean, indoors? Water? Soaking everything and making it all rotten? Yep, the support structures will be immune to water. Nothing will rot. It is needed to keep all my plants alive, because the walls, floors, windows, and everything everywhere are filled with live plants, both indoors and out.

Not only are there live plants, moss, and running water indoors inside this apartment, running creeks of water, but also, there are free roaming animals. Your cats and dogs are allowed to run the hallways. WHAT??? THE HALLWAYS??? Yes, you don’t keep your cats and dogs locked inside your single room. You let them run the hallways.

They will also have an inner court inside the apartment building, which is outdoors, like a square in the middle of the houses, which is surrounded by the houses. The animals and people and kids can roam there.

Also, the roads around the houses are under my control, too, and I will do them my way. THERE WILL BE NO THRU-ROADS ANYWHERE NEAR ANY OF MY HOUSES. All the roads will be nothing but a circle that goes around only to these houses and has no outlet, so nobody will ever need to drive through this area to get to someplace else. No house should ever be positioned alongside a through road. No house should ever be directly next to a road where people are driving 50 mph.

We are letting our children and pets run freely around outside. No one should ever get hit by a car. We are walking down the roads outside our houses, standing around on the roads, riding bikes and horses on the roads, lying down on the roads. No one ever drives fast here because they are only going around the circle to get to their own house. Maybe they don’t even drive a car the whole way home. Maybe they leave their car in a parking lot at the entrance and use some other mode of transportation to get to their house.

This entire place will be full of life, constantly. It is full of growing life, both plants and animals. It is a safe place. It is a healthy place. It is comfortable and ergonomic. At the same time, it is cheap and efficient. We are not charging $5,000 a month to live here. We are making it as cheap as possible.

‘Luxury’ does not mean a gigantic, empty room with high ceilings and crystal chandeliers. Luxury means it’s so cheap that you don’t need to work more than 5 hours a week to pay for it, so you have the luxury of actually living your life and doing what you want. Luxury means it is healthy and full of life, plants, animals, free movement, clean air, fresh water, a living place that surrounds you, like a forest except in an apartment complex.

Oh, is that crazy? Does that break rules? Am I not allowed to build an apartment complex that way?

Oh yeah, here’s another example of ‘We don’t give a fuck about whether you live or die.’ I believe that eight-story-high buildings should not have these balconies that people are able to jump or fall off of. WHAT??? That’s unthinkable! That’s not OUR problem if you get drunk and fall off the balcony and die! We don’t give a fuck! It’s up to you to avoid being stupid!

I love balconies, in fact, I love balconies even more than they do. I love walkways and catwalks and bridges. However, I want them all to be enclosed so that people are not jumping and falling off them either on purpose or by accident. My balconies on my building will have some kind of barriers around them to stop people from falling off them, some kind of bars. We also have fire escapes, so you don’t have to worry about being trapped indoors if there is a fire.

The point is that all balconies and porches and bridges must be fully enclosed, not just closed up to the top of some railing. People go over the railings. It’s easy to do if you are drunk or suicidal or taking antidepressants. It’s easy to do if you are taller than average and topheavy and you trip and fall by accident and your topheavy center of gravity goes over the height of the railing. You know, maybe you’re wearing a backpack and you’re 6.5 feet tall, or you’re carrying your child on your shoulder piggyback and you trip and fall. For whatever reason, you’re topheavy and you go right over the railing like a pivot, like a lever.

I myself almost fell out the window of my bedroom in West Virginia once, when the window was open and it was just a screen, because I tripped on something on the floor. The window is large and it’s at a low enough height that it’s possible to just fall right out of it. It would knock you right across the knees.

What??? That’s insane! Nobody would ever want to live in a building where the balconies all had some kind of bars or cage around them so people and pets don’t fall off. THAT’S IMPOSSIBLE.

Well, you can design them so that it doesn’t interfere with the view very much at all. It can be some thin wire or something. It doesn’t have to look like a jail cell. It just has to be enough that you can fall against it and not topple over the railing, and so that you can’t spontaneously leap off it because you took a combination of
antidepressants, antipsychotics, and anti-anxiety pills and nobody warned you that they would make you jump off balconies.

I don’t like things that scare me. I don’t like it that people can fall off balconies – I don’t like thinking about it, I don’t like the fact that it happens. These things are preventable, but the builders don’t give a fuck, and that’s why they don’t bother to prevent them.

There’s another thing. Lightning protection. WHAT???? THAT’S NOT OUR PROBLEM. That only happens to 1/132509485703498734209 people. It never happens! Don’t worry about it! We can’t possibly design a lightning-proof building!

But I want buildings that are lightning-proof, and that also have a basement underground so you can go there if there is a tornado. The whole reason you sleep inside a house is so that you don’t get struck by lightning and don’t get hit by tornado debris or get carried away. I know about all this, because I’m sleeping in a tent and I feel extremely vulnerable to the weather. It’s the only thing that really bothers me about camping.

I can’t dig an underground shelter because I don’t ‘own’ this land. I don’t believe we should have to ‘own’ the land, especially not for millions of dollars an acre, but I feel that I have to own land in order to know that I can build whatever infrastructure I want without some police officer slashing a hole in it.

I’ll go ahead and post this. I feel extremely ‘ADHD’ and don’t know why. I’m very uncomfortable somehow and kind of sick. And I have to work an overnight shift in a couple hours. I don’t know how the hell I will get through it. I just feel weird and sick and wrong and mentally confused and un-awake.

5 Responses to “I hate everything about apartments, buildings, real estate, and so on. My strange vision of a plant-filled, sunlit, protected apartment building with free roaming animals and kids”

  1. nebbie916 Says:

    Anemia Caused By Onions on Monkey Maddness: http://web.archive.org/web/20120304104631/http://www.monkeymaddness.com/articles/onions.html

    Onion Toxicity and the Raw Food Diet: http://www.raw-food-health.net/Onion-Toxicity.html

    This article says that since so many different species of animals can be poisoned by and anemic from onions, that humans are most likely not exempt in that regard.

    More Onions by Hugh Paxton: https://hughpaxton.wordpress.com/2010/01/20/more-onions/

    When it comes to getting onion induced anemia, horses, dogs, cats, and monkeys are moderately susceptible and cattle are most susceptible whereas sheep and goats are resistant to getting it.

    LD50 for Onions

    Dogs: 15 g per kg
    Cats: 5 g per kg

  2. nebbie916 Says:

    Here are some interesting articles.

    Mugwort: A Poison Oak Preventative: https://yankeebarbareno.com/2011/03/03/mugwort-a-natural-poison-oak-preventive/

    Eating Poison Oat: https://yankeebarbareno.com/2011/03/03/eating-poison-oak/

    Poison Oak: More Than Just Scratching the Surface by Wayne’s World: http://waynesword.palomar.edu/ww0802.htm

    The Sumac Family (Anacardiaceae): http://waynesword.palomar.edu/ecoph43.htm

    Poison oak, poison ivy, and poison sumac contain an allergen known as urushiol, which many humans can potentially develop an allergy to. This allergy give skin dematitis if you touch or brush against any part of these plants. These three plants are related to the Japanese lacquer tree, the mango tree, the cashew tree, and the pistachio tree, all of which have urushiol. The unrelated ginkgo tree also can have urushiol.

    As far as animals and poison oak/ivy/sumac allergy are concerned, it depends on the species. Some, like goats, deer, and many birds as well as banana slugs, are pretty much immune to getting allergic to it. Some, like mice, rabbits, dogs, cats, sheep, and rhesus macaques can have a sensitivity to urushiol, but are less likely to be allergic to it than humans. Guinea pigs are as likely as humans to get the allergy.

    I have a hypothesis, more humans are allergic to urushiol in the modern day and age with vaccinations (which cause allergies, especially food allergies) than in most of the time of our species existence when every human lived as nature intended for us to live (as hunter-gatherers) or close to it (traditional societies, limited agriculture). The food allergy epidemic is also quite recent. The very first time food allergies were even known was in 1839. As vaccination schedules increased, the risk of developing food allergies and allergies in general also increased.

    Vaccinations CAUSE Allergies: http://barbfeick.com/vaccinations/ or http://barbfeick.com/vaccinations/index.html

    I’ve heard that among the culture mediums used for vaccines are mangoes, cashews, and pistachios, which are relatives of poison oak and therefore can have urushiol. Maybe that is why poison oak/ivy/sumac allergies are so prevalent among humans.

  3. Martin Bott Says:

    Sleeping in a tent is not a good idea. It makes you a sitting duck waiting to getting fried.
    What you need is a camper van, or a normal van with at least a bed in it, and which can be locked so you can leave your stuff in it. And offers protection from weather. It also will enable you to go to other places, to try something new for a job. You also can park it in town, where you have better access to internet, food, or help if needed.

  4. nebbie916 Says:

    Here is a research journal on the risk of obesity caused by castrations and spays in cats.

    Risk of Obesity in the Neutered Cat: http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/pdf/10.1177/1098612X16660605

  5. nebbie916 Says:

    When Cat Realizes He’s Been Neutered, He Has PRICELESS Reaction by Woman’s Day: http://www.womansday.com/life/pet-care/a51277/cat-is-not-happy-about-getting-neutered/

    This article should’ve taken the subject of a cat waking up to realize that a not medically neccessary surgery (castration in this case) has been done on him without his informed consent more seriously.

    Animals are sentient, conscious, sovereign beings. The pro spay/neuter people cite the convenience factor of neutered animals as somehow being a benefit of the hormone and gonad (testicles and ovaries) robbing surgery. But the convenience factor reason is benefiting only the human who has the surgery done on their pet, therefore that reason is selfish on the human’s part. When humans neuter them because they want them to be more convenient and obedient, they are being treated like objects or slaves being treated as humans see fit. A medical procedure forced onto you, whether you are a human or cat or some other animal, is a violation of your bodily autonomy and a deep breach of your trust for the person who elected to have the procedure done on you. When you get an animal neutered (Castrated or spayed. Gelded. Eunuched.), this is what you are doing to them.

    That cat realized that something is missing.

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