I really need to stop being sick so I can function again

This deathly disease thing that I have right now is making me unable to do things I really need to do. I really am trying to fill out an application for a job, but I feel so miserable that I’m kind of afraid I won’t be able to even get home from the place where I’m using the internet right now, which is at the HUB. The internet stopped working at the laundromat, either because someone started hacking something or because the people at the pizza place don’t want me using their internet anymore. I don’t know which it is. I only know that lately somebody’s been making the internet stop working after I’ve been there a while, and my computer is hacked so badly and so messed up and full of crap, but I can’t work on the project of cleaning it off until I can buy things to back up my data onto. I need to back up everything and then work on cleaning up this whole computer. There is absolutely no hope of doing that right now.

I’m gonna have to take the loop bus and try to get as close to home as possible, then walk the rest of the way, because I was too tired and weak to take the bike, so I left it at home. I didn’t feel like I was able to lift up the bike and carry it down over the stone wall that I usually lift it over in the woods. I was so weak, I got off the loop bus after the internet stopped working at the laundromat, as I was attempting to move to the HUB to use the internet instead, and just walking a couple blocks down the street after getting off the bus, I started to feel like I was gonna collapse and couldn’t walk any farther.

I don’t really want to go home and sleep when I haven’t gotten anything useful done. I clicked a couple of checkboxes on the job application, but that’s all. All I could do was passively read things that were easy reading material, without really absorbing anything. I had to fight the battle of having technical difficulties connecting to the internet because of all the hacking and the screwed up browsers and just everything in general malfunctioning. When I’m doing well and when I have the equipment I need, I’m able to get the computer working again, but I can’t do that while living in a tent and not having anything to copy my data onto.

And right now I’m so sick I can’t even think, so now is not the time to do anything mentally challenging. This is right at the moment when I desperately need to fix the computer because it’s malfunctioning really badly. For instance, when I connect to the internet, it tells me I’m connected to two different networks at the same time – the regular one that I think I’m on, and then an ‘unknown network’ at the same time, or else, when I’m here at the HUB, it tells me I’m connected to two different parts of the same thing, like it’ll tell me I’m on attwifi 35 and also attwifi 25 at the same time (although at this moment, I’m only on one, after I turned off the wifi and then turned it back on again). And that’s when I start getting error messages like the security certificate is wrong, blah blah. I can’t fix this stuff right now when I can barely walk down the street without collapsing and when something is poisoning my brain with brain fog.

The right side of my throat-neck is so sore, it hurts to even turn my head. I can’t even scratch my back with my right arm if any part of my clothing presses against my neck, which happens because I’m wearing a whole bunch of thick layers – last night in bed, I had to rip off all my layers of clothing because I was trying to scratch the itch-mites that come from sitting on public chairs and public toilets, which were on my back, and I had to push my one arm all the way to the middle of my shoulder blades, which I could not do while wearing thick clothing, and my sleeve pushed against my neck while I was doing this and caused unbearable agony.

I also am not very happy about the fact that I have to cough and sneeze. I have had to cough a few times and I’m like ‘AAHHHHHH!’ screaming in agony, and I had to sneeze just now and I stifled it as much as possible to prevent it from coming out as fast as it wanted to come out. I had to turn it into a low pressure sneeze. It feels just like strep throat felt, almost, except… no, not really like strep throat. It’s only in one little region on the right side down my neck. It hurts every time I swallow, and I have some mucus production now, so I’m kind of snorting and swallowing and doing all these things to avoid triggering the pain. If this is some kind of flu, it will probably go on for like three or four weeks.

I need to start walking towards a bus stop so I can get on the loop and try to go home. Ugh. If I wake up in the middle of the night I will probably write some text message blogs without titles. Oh, actually, I will try to find out if it’s possible to make a title through a text message. I’ll look that up now while I’m still here.

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