And we’re back to having non-fighting conversations again.

And now, we just had a whole new conversation which wasn’t a fight and which actually involved some laughter. He is on blood thinners (never a good thing, but irrelevant), and so, he has occasional random bruises that just appear. One day he had a bruise on his leg that looked exactly like all the pictures of melanomas that they showed in the doctor’s office, and he did actually have a melanoma removed already, the bad kind, although he says they caught it before it spread.

So he went to the doctor as quickly as possible and told her about this sudden new spot he had, and she looked at it (he says ‘from across the room,’ as in, she didn’t even need to look closely) and said, ‘That’s a resolving hematoma.’ A bruise. He said, ‘HOW CAN YOU TELL???’ because to him, it looked EXACTLY like the pictures of deadly malignant melanomas, the picture hanging on the wall in that office. He paraphrased her as saying something like, ‘If you’ve been doing this for as many years as I have and you can’t tell the difference between a hematoma and a melanoma, it’s time to quit.’

So we laughed at this, and then he went on to tell an additional related story. He had a basal cell carcinoma removed from his right shoulder. There had been a bandage stuck to his arm and shoulder in that area. The bandage had left some glue on the skin when he removed it, and the glue became a black color. He looked down at his shoulder and saw that there was this brand new black spot that had appeared all of a sudden, and he was wondering if he should hurry up and schedule another appointment with the doctor to have this checked out. Then he saw there was another black spot and they were both right where the sticky bandage had been, and he scraped it with his fingernail and they both came off. He showed this to me because there was still some of the black glue right now. So we laughed about that too.

My dad and I don’t hate each other. It’s just that there are particular topics that we just can’t talk about. And if Dad ever gets ‘metastasis’ – which I am skeptical about – I interpret ‘metastasis’ as usually being ‘you get cancer everywhere simultaneously because of factors that are affecting your entire system at once’ rather than ‘you have cells that came from some location and spread everywhere and their origin is that one particular organ where they all started from,’ and maybe ‘metastasis’ could even be ‘for some reason, all of the undifferentiated stem cells scattered all over your body receive a command to change into cancerous ovarian cells’ or something like that, rather than ‘these ovarian cancer cells over in that other location CAME FROM your ovaries…’

So, if he gets metastasis from his carcinomas, I will have to talk to him all over again about the alternatives for cancer treatment, but only if all else fails. Alternatives are something that closed-minded people never want to consider unless the mainstream methods fail. I doubt he would even think for one second about trying an herbal remedy instead of ‘real’ chemotherapy if he hadn’t actually tried ‘real’ chemo first.

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