I rejected pau d’arco without really trying it much

I did find pau d’arco when I went shopping at all the local herb stores. I just didn’t find pawpaw there. However, the sales lady, who I talked to for a long time, as she told me all about her own mother dying, said that pau d’arco causes severe diarrhea, so I should be prepared for that.

I actually took that very seriously, and rejected it pretty quickly without trying it. I bought it, and I have the bottle, but I don’t want to use it. Anything that causes severe diarrhea is causing absolute agony for Mom, and she doesn’t have enough fluid in her body to produce the liquid needed to add to the diarrhea. Her intestines are cramping and cramping, trying to squeeze some liquid into the feces, but having no liquid, they cannot do anything, and it hurts like hell. I know this from experience, and it can be easily and quickly fixed if you drink water. Not only that, though, but of course just any kind of cramping with cancerous tumors is going to hurt. I just suspect that lack of water is greatly contributing.

So I won’t give her something that will cause agony. It would violate trust and make her noncompliant for any future attempts to give her any herbs. If I were totally confident and had done this hundreds of times before, I might not worry about this so much, but this is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this, and I have only a limited time and don’t want to screw things up.

So I didn’t end up using it. And then I read about it again just today, because I saw it mentioned and remembered I had it. It turns out that it’s somewhat toxic, more than pawpaw. The side effects are worse. It also has some unwanted activities, like antidepressant effects, and I’m concerned about that because she is suicidal and an antidepressant might give her the willpower to suddenly and
impulsively go grab the shotgun (or rifle or whatever it is that they have).

They said on one page that you could put the tea on your skin. I had to try it. I opened up one pill, put it into boiling water, and then put some of the water and powder on my skin. I also did this with oil mixed in. It did *almost nothing* because, once again, oftentimes the molecules are too large to go through the skin. St. John’s Wort absolutely does go right through the skin, and so does nicotine, and some other stuff, but unfortunately, not everything does easily.

However, I did feel a very slight effect, and it was indeed an antidepressant. I also had a disturbing, unpleasant, and
uncomfortable feeling of malaise which was hard to describe, just a ‘this is wrong’ feeling. Pawpaw didn’t make me say ‘this is wrong.’ Pawpaw was very enjoyable and refreshing (although it’s surely nauseating at high doses).

So I’m going to skip the pau d’arco. It might be okay for somebody who isn’t in such horrible condition. Mom cannot afford to have another night of uncontrollable repeated vomiting and diarrhea and unbearable cramping. On top of all that, if anybody found out that her attack of diarrhea was caused by me and my natural herbs, that would be the absolute last straw. I would not be allowed to even try to give her anything else and he might just throw me out and tell me to go home to State College right away (although that would suck because my pills are coming to this house on Tuesday).

I didn’t even try to eat any of it, and I certainly did not swallow a pill. I just felt anxious about it when the saleslady made a point of warning me that it would cause severe diarrhea, and then, I read online all the stuff about how its toxicity is just a little bit too much.

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