I just had a Beta/Delta quadra interaction moment – WTF is this music????

I’m in the Delta quadra, ISTP, and Donald Trump is a Beta, ESTP. I like him, but there are going to be times when our information processing doesn’t quite match up together. I clicked on the video that said, “Donald Trump and first lady, Melania, family, dance to ‘My Way.'” I started listening to this song they were dancing to, a slow dance, and it seemed normal at first, and then I started to hear the lyrics and I was shocked and thought, ‘Whoa, what the fuck? This is weird!’ The lyrics were just strange, shocking, unexpected, and ‘inappropriate.’ It didn’t fit at all with the idea of ‘slow dancing.’

I got triggered! That is what happened. It just coincided with what’s going on in my life. My mom is dying, and the lyrics started right off with something shocking and painful – the end is near, I had a good life, I’m looking back at my life and I did everything I wanted to do. This is a Beta-Delta interaction: the way we process information and the way we like to talk about it differs. For me, writing a song with these lyrics, a slow dance song, and putting it together with the end of Obama’s presidency, the end of a phase, of an era, and being triggered because Mom is dying, and I felt that somehow, this song and these lyrics were totally inappropriate and you should not say these things, in this particular way, in public, in front of people, and… something felt bad about it.

https://youtu.be/wuUgcM5YQdo

“My Way”

And now, the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, I’ll say it clear
I’ll state my case, of which I’m certain
I’ve lived a life that’s full
I traveled each and every highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Regrets, I’ve had a few
But then again, too few to mention
I did what I had to do and saw it through without exemption
I planned each charted course, each careful step along the byway And more, much more than this, I did it my way

Yes, there were times, I’m sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew
But through it all, when there was doubt
I ate it up and spit it out
I faced it all and I stood tall and did it my way

I’ve loved, I’ve laughed and cried
I’ve had my fill, my share of losing
And now, as tears subside, I find it all so amusing
To think I did all that
And may I say, not in a shy way
Oh, no, oh, no, not me, I did it my way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
To say the things he truly feels and not the words of one who kneels The record shows I took the blows and did it my way

[instrumental]

Yes, it was my way

*****
I almost wonder if this violated my trust, somehow. Very early on, even though I have liked what Trump himself has said, the spirit of his music said something to me that was very negative and wrong in some way. I assume he himself chose what song to play? Who chose that song? Some advisor, somebody associated with them? I don’t know what event this was, where they were, when they were dancing to this music. It felt like… this horrible, gruesome, bloody death and murder, played to the beautiful music of gentleness and peace and comfort.

When I reread the lyrics again, I don’t see that. I don’t see it in the writing on the page. I actually agree with the lyrics and I agree with the spirit of what is being said and it fits Trump perfectly. It is like looking forward into the future and seeing the end of Trump’s life. He’s going to look back and say these things.

Where did the ‘bloody murder played to beautiful music’ feeling come from? Seriously it’s almost like somebody put subliminal messages into the music, somebody added something into the background noise or something. I’m not even joking, it really is almost like that’s what happened. I don’t know where it came from.

Maybe it was just jarring and unexpected. Something about the bluntness of the words, things that are harsh and shocking, things that are not beautiful played to the tune of pleasant music, a slow romantic music, when it ought to have been screamed by a heavy metal band instead. If it were being screamed by a heavy metal band, that would be fine. I never listen to them anyway and can’t hear what they’re saying over the background noise and could not have even been shocked by the lyrics cause I just plain can’t even hear them. But here, I could hear every word clearly spoken without screaming background noise of heavy metal.

Here’s an example of words that I react negatively to:

“the end is near”
“I’ve lived a life that’s full” (What? This is a song about DEATH, when we are dancing our first dance of our presidency, in front of the entire country???)
“regrets, too few to mention” (I’m bragging about being a winner – everything went great for me)
“I did what I had to do” (this is a song about ‘doing things.’ We don’t write slow-dance songs about ‘doing things.’)
“I planned each charted course” (you have too much control over everything)

I could go on. Beta-Delta quadra interaction! I really do like Trump, but I just experienced information processing dissonance! It’s weird to have that experience, quite shocking. Everything seemed wrong, distorted. Offensive. Don’t play music! Just don’t!! Just don’t! Music is where everything goes wrong!

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