I love my pawpaw tea. It’s so good!

It really tastes good. I’ve been drinking a small amount of it, not a lot, since I need to keep most of it for Mom. I’m just soaking it in cool water, nothing more at the moment, but in future batches I’ll do experiments with hot water.

I have the burning sensation. It feels a lot like the radioactive iodine that I got injected before my CAT scan. The burning is in my mouth, throat, chest, and stomach area. It’s a cool, mild, pleasant burn. It lingers for a very long time. It will linger for days.

When I try to eat, it will be hard to eat, and that’s the downside of this. But this is chemotherapy.

This is an extremely low dose version, because harvesting the twigs in the middle of January means that the amount of poison is at its absolute lowest. There is hardly anything in there at all. I have no choice. This is what I have to work with.

It’s not even making me nauseated, although I know from my first time eating it that it will be kind of hard to eat the next time I try. The irritation lingers, but that’s the whole point: it’s going to soak into the tumors and keep burning and burning inside them. It’s going to burn up Mom’s tumors. I wonder if she’ll be able to feel it.

I’m going to ask her if she will sip this every time she has a sip of water, instead of water. If she agrees, I might ask her to chew the wooden solid material, too, and spit it out, just to extract the most flavor from it and to continue getting a dosage even when she cannot sip any more water without throwing up.

I feel excited about this. I feel excited because this burning sensation is real. It’s lingering. It just keeps going and going and going, and that’s exactly what we want it to do. I only hope it can work fast enough to make a difference, and I only hope she agrees to do it. It means everything to me. I want to watch her change and I want to watch her get better again, and I will know it’s because of this.

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