Duran Adam – standing man silent protest is the same, but opposite, of standing in worship like in the Bernadette movie. All is not well.

This is very interesting to me. My reaction to this was completely the opposite of my reaction to the Bernadette movie. In that movie at the church, groups of people were all standing and worshiping silently because Bernadette was seeing a vision of a lady. Bernadette herself was standing with a beatific look on her face (did I use that word correctly?), a glowing light shining on her. I cannot stand and worship something like that.

However, my ENFP friend on facebook shared a link about people in Turkey standing still and silent to protest. It started with a guy protesting the suppression of Turkish media or news or something – I don’t know the entire story behind it. It made an impact on me before I was able to find out all that was behind it. Other people found out that he was standing still as a form of protest, passive resistance, and so large groups of people all over Turkey started standing along with him.

Standing silently as a form of protest, to express a negative emotion rather than a positive one, is easier for me to relate to and understand than is the standing silently worshiping a vision of a goddess or deity or saint or whatever the blessed virgin is
categorized as. I can express all of my suffering, and there is a lot to express.

This actually moved me to tears, reading that article. I am already close to tears and cried a little bit earlier today. This silent protest just fits right in with how I feel. What’s wrong?
Everything. Everything is wrong. There is so much wrong, I cannot explain it all. I cannot tell it all. I cannot say it. I say nothing. It is all wrong, and I stand silent. There is so much wrong that it just cannot be expressed out loud.

It fits with my mom dying of cancer (and I suspect it’s from the chemical spill in the water in 2013 or whenever that was, the Elk River spill from Freedom Industries, what an ironic name). It fits with Nakrivich, all that is wrong with society, which has so many sub-definitions and ideas encompassed in it. I made up that word sort of as a joke, but I do need that word, so I started using it seriously, sometimes. It was just a joking word. The silent protest fits with electronic mind control. It is about the money system. It is about the war and the military. It is about the media. It is about food and health. It is about the high cost of living. It is about the disintegration of the entire culture and society. It’s about everything that bothers me. And there is a lot, so much it cannot be said, so we stand silently.

I get this. It’s just an interesting contrast, an interesting opposite, to the people standing silently worshiping The Lady in Lourdes.

Would I ever be capable of standing silently to worship *anything* and just express a flow of constant positive emotions? I cannot imagine myself ever doing or experiencing such a thing. I don’t have access to a constant flow of positive emotions, but I do have access to a constant flow of negative emotions. I cannot imagine what would have to change in the world to enable me to feel that it was important, necessary, easy, natural, and possible to stand there silently worshiping something and radiating a constant flow of positive emotions.

And there is a feeling that it NEEDS to be expressed. You can’t stand there radiating an emotion unless it is something important that has to be said. It’s just hard for me to wrap my mind around the idea that a positive emotion would be something that needed to be said. If I’m talking about socionics, then this is probably my +Fe vulnerable function, which is one-dimensional and cannot do very much, but I’m not certain if that’s really the function I’m talking about. And so I will mention ‘Hitta’s Chart’ also known (wrongly?) as Model B in my blog, which has +Fi and -Fe together in my mobilizing function, which is two-dimensional and is therefore stronger and able to do a lot more stuff. -Fe would be negative emotions expressed by a group, possibly, but again, I don’t know if I’m defining that correctly.

I just sometimes need to see that somebody else out there in the world is unhappy, that all is not well, that I am not totally surrounded by happy, contented people, who automatically ask, ‘How are you?’ when they pass a stranger on the street, and the automatic answer is ‘Great! How are you?’ and there is no other possible answer allowed. Everyone is great! We are all wealthy and powerful! Everything in our lives is going perfectly according to plan! We are healthy, we have lots of money, we get paid vacations, we have hobbies and friends and interests, we travel wherever we want whenever we want, we have married our true love and we have perfect children, and it’s all going to continue nonstop until the very last day of our lives, when we will suddenly vanish from the face of the earth without even leaving a messy body behind for anybody else to clean up. Poof! Like the little fish in the bowl, that Lily gave to the potions professor, Slughorn.

I need to see, once in a while, that there are large groups of people who agree with me, to some extent, even if not completely about every single detail, people who agree that there is something wrong with the world, that all is not well. Even if they don’t really understand it all, even if they are protesting something that I might not entirely agree with, even if they will go home and do something that goes against my interests, even if I disagree with a lot, I can still relate to the need to express the emotion that all is not well, and to have a lot of people see it and feel this empathy, this camaraderie, with them.

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