i didn’t write down all the anaya stuff the voices talked to me about. Why do I have no memory?

It was a few nights ago. Basically, this was a discussion that should have been written down because it is important to the book of anaya. I’m kind of lazy about capitalizing letters because my right shift key isn’t working so I have to use the left shift key for everything and I sometimes don’t feel like struggling to twist my hand around to hit ‘shift’ and ‘a’ at the same time.

Anyway, okay, I can capitalize an A. Anyway…. I didn’t write down any of this conversation, which went on in the middle of the night. The theme was mostly about ‘Why Anaya?’ Why does it exist? Why did I need this religion? What makes it different from other religions?

I don’t remember everything that we said, but I do remember one thing we were talking about. A lot of religious writings, such as in the Christian bible, are preoccupied with punishing evildoers. Anaya is not preoccupied with punishing evildoers or sending people to hell. However, Anaya realizes that evil exists, and it’s an evil that I cannot talk about with the average person on the street, because they don’t believe it exists. I don’t remember everything we talked about. It was basically a different approach to evil or a different attitude about evil. I think the main idea was that I am interested in taking effective action to stop evil from doing what it’s doing, and EFFECTIVE ACTION is the emphasis. I don’t merely want to emote about it, I want to do what is needed to protect myself against it and stop it from happening. I’m not even really concerned with punishing evildoers.

They didn’t urge me forcefully to get up and write this down immediately after the discussion. I have a notebook where I am writing Anaya-related thoughts. I just had this long discussion in the middle of the night and then just continued lying in bed afterwards. I just need to distinguish Anaya, to say why someone would want to join Anaya instead of some other religion or instead of not having any religion at all. What does Anaya teach, what does Anaya do, and so on.

If I were wealthy and had a lot of resources, then Anaya would be an employer who paid its members a pittance to live on. I should go read my own website again and see the list of things and try to figure out which ones have changed since I wrote that a few years ago. I’m just kind of too lazy to do that. I am not feeling inspired to write the book right now.

Oh, one of the things in the book would have to be the rationale for long hair. If ‘Science and Health,’ the book associated with Christian Science, is all about how you can ignore all your illnesses and you’ll get better without any treatment at all (which is mostly true for almost all minor illnesses, which people blow out of proportion and get all scared about), then my book is going to have to be an extremely long book-length monologue about why long hair is necessary. Except, there are other topics besides that which Anaya needs to cover.

I enjoy reading websites about extraterrestrial disclosure and Ascension and the secret space program and things like that. I feel like that is the other side of Anaya, that Anaya is connected to all of that, that Anaya wants to be a part of that world. Anaya is not merely on earth, it is meant to spread to all the planets and to help people leave earth and colonize other places. In the meantime, Anaya helps people travel around on Earth to other countries. There is enough to see here, for now, until we get the resources we need to travel in space.

I still haven’t played with GameMaker yet. I’ve been reading random things on the net, in particular ‘Pizzagate.’ Pizzagate sounds a lot like the disgusting and horrible things that the voices have done to me over the years, things that used to ‘trigger’ me a lot in the past, but not anymore now that I am no longer so badly contaminated with herbal drug residues. I was barely triggered at all by any of the bizarre, disgusting, and disturbing images and videos I was looking at. I was just kind of numb to it, I guess. In the past, it used to cause terrible trauma when I would see those things. I had these dreams at night and images and voices in my head, but again, only when under the influence of antidepressants and their residues.

I think I do know a lot of code words which have been implanted in my head by the voices. I have had a theory that the reason why people are putting voices into my head is because my brain is being used as an ’email server,’ a location which remembers things and can be accessed by other people. I suspect that is the reason why I have no memory. I cannot recall memories very well, and my dreams are being controlled at night so that I cannot access or process any of my own memories, and that’s probably because if I were able to access my own memories I would be finding other people’s emails about which location they were traveling to to pick up their $10,000 captured child sex slave. I don’t know what the constant barrage of noise is doing to my brain, but my guess is that it’s burning some encoded secret information into my memory so that somebody else can read it later on. All of this ‘pizzagate’ stuff sounds vaguely familiar to me. It all feels like the kind of thing I have already been seeing all these years. The disgusting and horrifying images in my nightmares, especially in the beginning and when I was on antidepressants, were very similar to the images in the horrifying videos that I have been watching.

I probably am a good email server. When I was in fourth grade, our teacher made us memorize poems and then recite them in front of the class. I was the only person in the class who was able to
successfully and perfectly memorize and recite the entire ‘The Wreck of the Hesperus’ poem without a single mistake.

Other ISTPs have extremely clear memories of events that occurred many decades ago, which they can easily access and then bring up in conversation. This was especially true with, for example, Mike Young at the house where I was living. He could tell me in detail stories of events that happened to him decades ago. I cannot. I can only remember vague details of things that happened only hours ago, almost nothing of events that occurred years ago, and I can only remember events if they have huge emotional significance, and only if I wrote them down on paper immediately afterwards to recall as much detail as I could. Why is it that I can remember nothing of my own life if I was the only person in class able to remember the entire ‘Hesperus’ poem flawlessly? Why do I have no memory? What would happen if you hypnotized me? I cannot be hypnotized – I tried to do it to myself, years ago. I tried to go to a stage hypnotist and wasn’t able to get it done there, either.

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