okay, it’s easing up, I think…. was thinking about Anaya religion last night

The ibuprofen is starting to work. I wanted to take another pill but knew if I did I would be sick as a dog (whatever that saying means). I just waited and now they are starting to die down.

I was just reading my ‘Waking Times’ RSS feed and ended up reading about the Raelians, a group of people who believe in aliens and intelligent design. I feel that these people are a kindred spirit to me, with my Anaya religion. I have been praying to Anaya a lot, and praying very differently under the influence of sage. Sage affects my brain very strongly. I don’t have time to do it now, but on my days off I was playing with GameMaker Studio and copying the basic skeleton of Terraria; however, the gamemaker built-in functions are so buggy that I can’t just do it and get it over with. For example, in one test, I made the player fall down and land on a platform, and as it stood there doing nothing, its vertical speed (the variable) kept on increasing and increasing for no reason, even though it wasn’t moving, and sometimes you can even see it ‘vibrating’ against the object it’s standing on, and then, after a minute, it just fell right through the platform and down into space outside the screen. There are these premade functions that you can use just with drag-and-drop, and the code behind them seems to be kind of messy. So I struggled with that for hours and hours and hours, but didn’t have time to keep working on it because I had to go to bed. I stopped using sage temporarily because it made me stay up very late and feel like absolute crap the next day.

But, when I prayed to Anaya while I was using sage, I prayed very similarly to Joel Osteen’s prayer style (I signed up for their emails, but in reality I don’t really get much out of them – it was more interesting to watch the sermons on youtube – but I’m not Christian, and I’m more interested in alternative religions instead of mainstream ones). He prays thanking God for things that he needs and things he wishes would happen, instead of thanking God for things that already exist. I was able to do that while using sage, and I actually felt emotions at the imagined sight of these things I wanted to have happen.

My insights weren’t as deep when I was just using this dried powdered sage from the grocery store spice aisle as they were when I was eating fresh sage. I tried to grow sage along with all the stuff I had in pots at the Youngs’ house, but it didn’t grow and so I know it’s a tricky one that might require removing the seed coats or something. I didn’t try that yet and will have to try it next time, just rubbing them on sandpaper or something, which won’t be easy because they are only a couple millimeters across.

But when I used fresh sage my insights were even more deep and unusual.

Unfortunately I didn’t have enough insights to actually make important decisions about my life. The most unusual thing that actually resulted from it was opening up GameMaker again and playing with it. I have to overcome a resistance to doing this. Normally I have this strange resistance, which I hate, where I refuse to try to learn anything or educate myself unless I am absolutely certain that it will have immediate applicability. I have to know that this is immediately useful and in the area of interests immediately relevant to me. Even though I took calculus class in high school and absolutely loved it, I cannot make myself study math of any kind now, because I do not see the IMMEDIATE applicability of it.

The only thing that I might conceivably educate myself about might be something like a book of edible plants in Pennsylvania – I would be willing to learn them. This major resistance, this refusal to try to educate myself, is extremely frustrating. All that I am willing to do in my free time is entertain myself, but for some reason I cannot overcome the refusal to learn something that isn’t necessarily entertaining, even if it’s a class I love like calculus.

I love math if it is associated with images, but if it is completely abstract and numerical I am not as comfortable with it, so I loved calculus and trigonometry and geometry, but I was less comfortable with Algebra 2, because it wasn’t as strongly connected to images. The images become fodder for new ideas, as I start questioning the way the graphs are represented. Why is this idea represented this way in this image? Does this image give us all the information? Does this representation of the data mean something we don’t want it to mean, or cause us to assume something that isn’t true? Does it limit our understanding when we represent it this way? I used to invent new and weird ways of representing the concepts, and played with them, new weird ways of graphing and drawing them, things that were bizarre, and I skimmed through a book about fractals and used those kinds of things as inspiration for my weird ideas. Math made my brain wake up and go crazy and go way, way, way beyond the assignment, as I struggled to understand thoroughly every tiny nuance of the math lesson, only to find that it expanded hugely beyond what I was supposed to be doing, so that I would be frustrated if, for instance, they gave us an equation without explaining how that equation was derived – I would always learn how to re-derive things like the universal solution to equations (that thing that says something like x = +/- the square root of (something a2 + b2) / (something something). I would re-derive those formulas, even during a test.

Anaya… I was saying that I had been praying to Anaya a lot lately. I still have some St. John’s Wort contamination on some of my clothing, but I am not trying to do a decon because the levels are very low and are not causing any massive disruption in my life or massive behavior changes. I don’t have the money to throw away all my clothes and buy all new ones. I prayed even more while using sage.

Today or last night I was thinking about the African Anaya. It’s challenging because out of all the races, the one that I am most negatively prejudiced about is African people. Anaya is officially, explicitly multiracial, and an explicit overt goal of the religion is racial mixing. However, there are real differences between the races and the one that bothers me the most is that I can’t find any African music, written by anyone either in Africa or the US or anywhere, that I really like, except maybe ‘The Lion Sleeps Tonight,’ which was supposedly based on a real African song. So I find it hardest to relate to the African race. But they are officially included and valued in Anaya, and so I was devoting myself to thinking about the idea of the Anaya people in Africa and how they would be and what they would do. I was feeling like I had a terrible fever all night long, and I was thinking about this during the hours when I was lying awake uncomfortable during the night. Note, it’s extremely hard for me to find ANY music written by ANY race that I like, although I know a lot of songs that somewhat move me emotionally, but are not quite what I want. This is why I have always needed to write music, yet another project being postponed.

I feel like the ibuprofen is working now, thankfully… I will be able to go in to work.

If the Raelians and others can do this kind of thing, then so can Anaya. I need to write the book of Anaya and include the teachings in there. It’s an intentional community but I want it to be something much larger, something that spreads to every continent on earth.

I am actually kind of sleepy. Darn it, this is what happens when I am cramping and I take ibuprofen. I need to take a nap, and when I wake up I will feel perfectly fine again. But I can’t take a nap now – I’ll be leaving to go to work in a couple minutes.

Anaya: their goals are to prevent the deformities of the body, face, and brain, to get rid of drugs and toxic chemicals, to make people beautiful, to make new children and guarantee their safety for a lifetime against preventable injuries such as tooth removals, circumcision, and other things routinely done to permanently harm people’s bodies, to maximize people’s potential by preventing all those things that handicap us, and more things that I can’t remember offhand. Some of it has changed since I made the ‘order of
retmeishka’ website a few years ago. I don’t call it that now – retmeishka is too bulky and hard to say. It’s not really called ‘the order of anything’ now, it’s just called Anaya. I have to reread all of that and decide what is still relevant and important to me. Then I need to copy it into a book and make it readable.

The book wouldn’t be interesting without photos, though. Weston Price’s book has such a huge impact because of all the photos. I owe such a huge debt to Weston Price for teaching me that the deformities are preventable, although I believe many of them are caused by drugs and chemicals, not merely by malnutrition. These include commonplace, normal drugs like alcohol, caffeine, and tobacco, along with over-the-counter pills like aspirin and tylenol. It also includes chemicals in canned food and other chemicals we’re exposed to in the modern life, things primitive people didn’t have. But the pictures – they make the book entertaining and beautiful. I will need pictures of long-haired, beautiful, multiracial people to illustrate the vision of what Anaya is meant to be. Anaya transforms what is ugly into something beautiful. Society makes everyone ugly, and Anaya fixes that, although you can’t fix someone who’s already been destroyed by society, but you CAN fix their children.

I guess I need to start getting ready to leave for work…

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2 Responses to “okay, it’s easing up, I think…. was thinking about Anaya religion last night”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    “I would be sick as a dog (whatever that saying means…”

    Puking your guts out and so starving hungry you eat your own vomit!

    …sorry but tis wat dit dis…

    ETA

  2. Nicole Says:

    You’re right, I’ve actually seen dogs do that. I’m not quite sick enough to throw up and then eat it, thankfully.

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