The hackers who deleted my opera rss feeds did it wrong; hormone milk is affecting me

I noticed suddenly in the last couple weeks that all my old RSS posts had been deleted and I was only getting the newest ones. It suddenly happened by itself, which means, hackers. I didn’t get upset about it, because that is something that I sometimes do anyway. But they did it wrong. Now it’s all disorganized and it’s lost some important piece of information that organizes it. You can’t just delete the whole thing without understanding it. I don’t know how it works. I don’t know what they did, but now, all the RSS feeds are unable to sort properly. So they are all mixed together.

I bought hormone milk again today. The only reason I am buying hormone milk frequently is because I am not located next to any places that sell organic milk. I used to be able to get organic half and half at McClanahan’s, but now I’m next to a different McClanahan’s and this particular store doesn’t have organic cream. I don’t want to go several blocks farther every day when I am trying to get to work on time. So I am sometimes drinking hormone-filled factory farm cream or milk.

Well, I went a day or two without it, and got it again today, and suddenly noticed that it affected my feelings towards my crush. I have noticed that hormone milk causes me to have hormone-induced effects, not just arousal but a sort of clinginess. However, the effect is not so bad that I absolutely have to stop drinking it. I am only taking note of the fact that it’s affecting me.

I wish I could spend some time with him *before* I ovulate. I’m approaching my menstrual period now, in the second half of my cycle, and I’m not sexually attractive to anybody at the moment, but I still want comfort and touch.

I think there’s an ENTP there (semi-dual). I don’t know him well and have only talked to him a couple times. He was talking about playing video games in competitions and getting paid to do it, but he said his parents didn’t approve and they deleted his video gaming accounts, so he had to start all over from scratch (but obviously, didn’t stop doing it).

I have never actually tried to have an intimate relationship with a socionic identical and actually spend time alone with them having physical contact and sex with them. I have had quite a few male friendships with identicals – the guys I was living with before I went camping just now. Maybe they weren’t Asian enough. I sincerely do love foreign people and different-looking people.

It’s so pretty outside, I should go into the woods and clear the weeds. I was halfheartedly clearing a space for a new house. However, it’s unlikely I’ll be able to build this new house before it gets cold outside, and when it’s so cold that I can no longer work outdoors, the housebuilding will be abandoned as usual. I have tried several times to build a house in the woods, out of sticks and stones and clay and natural materials. The only compromise I might allow on the natural materials is, I might buy ropes and strings from the store, because I do not yet have a source of large amounts of natural fibers for making rope, or a place where I am able to make this rope. That could be done *in the house* after it’s built, though. I’m transitioning.

I wonder if anybody is Asia is interested in rewilding and primitive skills? I was thrilled to find a few youtube videos about organic farming in Asia. I’m glad it’s becoming a trend over there, too. They need it even more than we do. They have much more pollution. I’m not sure how I would google search for Asian cultural trends without actually being able to speak and write in the language, and also be able to get past the great firewall. (I talk about the great firewall as though it’s an unusual thing that only exists in Asia, but meanwhile, we are all taking for granted our own internet censorship and our own surveillance.)

I have St. John’s Wort on my clothing. It isn’t a huge amount, and it isn’t causing extreme fatigue, but I have had mild fatigue a few times. It’s enough that I am experiencing some mind control attacks that only happen when I’m under the influence of drugs. They did something to the sound effect that happens when we receive an order at Maki Yaki. There’s this harmonica sound that plays. They added subliminal, ultrasonic sounds to it saying ‘bento boxes.’ Every time that sound plays, I hear the words ‘bento boxes’ and it triggers rage. I haven’t had this problem for years – it was a long time ago – I was working at Weis Market and they hacked the overhead speakers thing – why can’t I remember what that’s called? oh well – so that every time the little Weis commercial came on, I would hear ultrasonic voices playing along with the music, and it triggered rage. It seems to only be audible to me if I am on drugs. I guess it’s possible that they just went a long time without hacking voices into anything, or maybe there weren’t any sound effects playing at any of my other jobs that were hackable. But the problem of triggering rage is definitely something that only happens under the influence of antidepressants.

The intercom. That’s the word I was trying to remember.

Again, it’s not a major problem. The residues of the St. John’s Wort are very minimal. It’s nothing like it was in the past. It’s only because I ate just a small amount of the plant the other day when I was out walking, because I always hope that it will do something helpful for me, but it never does enough. It just causes fatigue and more problems with the electronic attackers.

I’m going to play Terraria for a little while and then I guess I will go home. There are things I need to do but I was too tired and overwhelmed to do them yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Would that be really, really weird? To give him a note asking him to text me, and then, to actually attempt to spend time alone with him, even though we won’t have a huge amount to talk about, being two introverted identical types? We could quietly watch movies together or something, or play video games together. It could just be a friendship with some kind of physical contact. I just keep postponing the moment of making the leap into that. It seems so dangerous, or destructive. It almost seems like it would damage something. But if he did that exact thing to me, I would be thrilled. I guess I would just have to ask him if it’s okay. I would need to be absolutely sure it was okay. With some people it’s obvious that a relationship with them is okay and it’s what they want, but it’s not obvious with a quiet, introverted person who doesn’t express his feelings openly.

However, I don’t want to interfere with him falling in love, if he meets someone really great. I haven’t met this new driver named Rachael yet. If everybody named Rachael is an ENFP, then she’s his dual. They said she’s ‘really sweet.’ ENFPs are really sweet, so she could be an ENFP. I need to stay out of the way of that if that’s happening. I’m only joking with my logical reasoning here – I have absolutely no way of knowing what type she is when I haven’t even seen her yet. But only certain types of people would ever be described as ‘sweet.’ And Anne from McDonald’s became a delivery driver for OrderUp. Maybe I should wait until I meet her first. It’s easier for male ISTPs to meet their female ENFP duals, because logical men are more common than logical women, and ethical men are less common than ethical women. So it’s hard for me, an ISTP female, to find lots of ENFP males.

Okay, I guess it’s time to play Terraria for a bit.

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