sitting at the laundromat; some conflicts going on at work

1:17 PM 10/16/2016

I took a fairly thorough bath in the sink at the laundromat today.

I have so many things to do, but I don’t feel able to do them in the evening after work. It’s much easier for me to do my tasks and projects on days when I am completely off work and have unlimited time.

A couple times in the last few days, I went wandering through this town in the evening. I looked at all the people. I can’t stand most of them. I walked up and down the two main streets of this town, where the people walk, and there are only these two streets and no other streets. If you can’t find what you want on those two streets, then you can’t find it anywhere, because you can’t go wandering up and down the hallways of apartment buildings or dormitories. People have to be outdoors in order to be seen, and most of them are at home playing games, using the computer, or watching TV.

I talked about personality types yesterday at work, because I was seeing a problem. Some people are saying that Rich is too grumpy and he’s not getting along with them. This is a socionics problem. They say it’s because he’s not getting any sleep and he’s too tired, which is also true, but socionics is what makes it intolerable for some people, but tolerable to others. I decided Rich might possibly be an SEI-ISFp instead of an ESE-ESFj like I originally thought he was; all that I know for sure is that he is an Alpha SF. When I brought up the personality types topic, and said I thought he might be an ESFj, he said he thought he was more of an introvert.

Mike is an ESI-ISFj, and Myro is either an LIE-ENTj or an LSE-ESTj – I’m not completely certain about her type and I don’t encounter enough LIEs to be really familiar with them. I think Mike’s friend Dave is an LIE-ENTj, but again, I could be wrong – he could be an ESTj instead. I don’t always know how to recognize intuition if it’s the creative function. I wasn’t able to identify Kat’s type either, but ‘they’ typed her as ILI-INTp.

Paul is IEI-INFp, but I originally thought he was SEI-ISFp. He did something that made it more obvious he was using intuition instead of sensing. Paul’s mom, Suk (we just pronounce it ‘Sue’ and that was what I always heard – it isn’t pronounced ‘suck’ in a rough way, but rather, if you hear the ‘k’ at all, it is merely to end the word quickly with a glottal stop rather than trailing off with a long ‘u’ sound) I originally thought was LSI-ISTj, but she could also be a SLE-ESTp. I know she is a Beta ST.

There are a bunch of other people who I barely know at all and barely talk to. I have no idea what type Natalie is, and I have barely spoken a few sentences with her. Raymond I also don’t know, but thought he might be an ILI-INTp. James – I don’t know, something pretty easygoing, maybe even another SLI-ISTp like myself. Joseph – something very quiet and easygoing, perhaps another SLI-ISTp, but I also considered LII-INTj and EII-INFj, some sort of Alpha-Delta introvert. Joseph is extremely withdrawn, and I’ve noticed it’s very easy to just talk loudly over top of him while he is talking, and whatever he was saying just gets forgotten or ignored. I’ve experienced that myself many times in my life.

There are some new people whose names I don’t know, and some delivery drivers whose names I never remember even though they’ve been here since I started – Vinny, unknown type, Sergei, unknown type, and a few others. There are people who I only know by face. Austin and Justin – both new, and I know next to nothing about them. Some tall guy who I don’t often work with and have absolutely no clue about his name, but he superficially resembles Mike my previous homeowner/landlord where I was living at Black Bear Lane, who was a SLI-ISTp. He actually looks like him and kind of acts like him too.

I am seeing the conflict between Rich and Mike. If Rich is an SEI-ISFp and Mike is an ESI-ISFj, those are quasi-identicals. If Rich is an ESFj, they’re extinguishers. Both of those are relations with the opposite quadra and they can be difficult, especially if one person really is having a problem with not getting enough sleep and being more irritable than usual. When you have problems that are changing your behavior, the more compatible socionic relations are able to tolerate your behavior better than the less compatible relations. But that’s not always true either. I only know that I myself am barely aware of Rich’s grumpiness because it seems normal to me and doesn’t seem to be ‘out of bounds’ in any way, but to Mike and Myro it’s annoying enough to be a major conflict.

I’m not sure why Rich isn’t sleeping. He is having difficulties with sleep, beyond merely ‘not getting enough sleep.’ He isn’t *choosing* not to sleep – he *can’t* sleep, from what I understand. He is going to bed and lying there awake unable to fall asleep. If I had a decontamination center up and running I’d send him there and see if he could sleep after getting clean. I’d also use shielded areas without wifi and without cell phone radiation to protect him against other possible causes of sleeplessness. I’ve been wanting to make decontamination centers for a few years now; they would also be used to help people stop tobacco and stop other drugs. It would be a spa-like place, but you would live there without leaving for several months.

***********
Last night, I played Terraria. I haven’t played that game since last winter. I rediscovered how hugely time consuming it is. I didn’t even try to pick up any of the games that I left at more difficult stages. I was becoming frustrated with it. I had to look up everything online in the Terraria wiki to find out how to do things, because some of the things you have to do are just impossible. Fortunately for that wiki I was able to learn how to play the game.

I have been going through a phase where I feel like I don’t enjoy my job. So yesterday I mentioned again to Rich that I want to learn to do the cooking. If I try something new I might enjoy it more. I don’t mind washing dishes; I just don’t enjoy prepping, and it’s hard to explain why (without mentioning socionics or personality types). I am a perceiving type. Perceiving types like to wait for a certain state to occur before they decide to do something. Judging types like to take action to reach a particular state. So, a judging type is better for prepping, because they like to go through a to-do list and take actions needed to reach a state of preparedness. They like to cut vegetables all day in order to reach a state of ‘having three containers full’ and that kind of thing. I myself find it
instinctively, intrinsically difficult to orient myself this way. I just *don’t like* to think in terms of preparing three containers of the vegetables. I tend to think more along the lines of ‘if we are running out, it’s time to make more.’ I want to be the one who *uses* the prepared vegetables rather than the one preparing them. If I myself am both preparing and also using them, then I am able to understand how it fits into the big picture – I am able to understand that I actually will need three of them in one day, and I am able to understand that I will have limited time to do this preparation.

But none of this would matter if it were me, because I would absolutely and definitely be using a machine to do this job. I would have the job totally done in a couple of minutes using a food processor instead of slicing by hand. However, it is impossible to get machines that are durable and that don’t break down. I didn’t even think of that at first, when I was first fantasizing about getting us a food processor.

But then, Charles (a delivery driver/dishwasher of unknown type, other than ‘he’s something religious’) came in and said that the food processor had broken down at his other job, and they needed to borrow one of our mandolins, a little device where you slide the vegetables against some blades, at the risk of your hands, so you wear special gloves made out of knitted tough fabric. I realized that all appliances are utter garbage, even if they are intended for heavy duty industrial purposes, because it is impossible to buy durable goods in today’s economy for many reasons. You have to find a supplier that is making it in the USA with non-slave employees. Appliances made in China by slaves are going to be garbage quality. You have to find appliances that contain all metal parts, nothing plastic. You have to pretend plastic never even existed. Rubber parts are okay, but they have to be the right kind of rubber. Rubber is necessary for some things.

I’m going to post this because I guess I have to start getting ready to go to work, but I’m really tired and don’t want to go. I’ve been feeling really negative about work. I think it would help, though, if I learned to cook. If I could be part of the entire process from start to finish, I would understand the importance of prepping. It would be much more meaningful to me if I were up there cooking during a rush and suddenly ran out of something I needed, so that I would understand the need for prepping this stuff. As of right now, the prepping is just something isolated by itself, unimportant and meaningless and pointless. I am just one small piece in the factory, unable to understand the big picture. I have to understand where all the prepping fits in. I only know that my feelings have been very negative lately and something needs to be done about it. I’m just not sure of the best thing to do.

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