a tiny sharp pain – I may have just ovulated

They say that the ovulation often feels like a tiny sharp stabbing pain, which lasts for a couple seconds and then stops. I just felt that, just a few tiny stabs in the area of my right ovary. Semen triggers ovulation; if I already ovulated once prior to sex, I might have just ovulated a second time, causing me to have fraternal twins. I didn’t feel that sharp pain prior to this, though. I don’t know.

Perhaps I just have parasites, gas, or appendicitis. But it really felt like the thing that I thought was ovulation.

Semen lasts for seven days, they say, and this happened yesterday, or rather the day before yesterday: Monday, September 19th. Oh – today is my birthday, September 21, 1974. I am 42 years old – “42, life, the universe, and everything.” I have a few gray hairs on my temple, mostly on the right side. I think – right or left? I’m not looking in a mirror, I forget.

I’m starting to get into the habit of this thing of having unprotected sex with random strangers without a condom. Now that I am thinking along those lines, I am thinking, if the pregnancy fails this month and I get my period again, I will need to look for some other random stranger to contribute semen, but who gets that honor? There are great people out there who deserve to have children – and do they have any, I wonder? Years ago I actually considered going to Nathaniel Branden and asking him if he would give me his sperm.

Anyway, so if it’s true that semen survives for seven days, and if I just ovulated, either a first or second time, then the semen is still alive to fertilize it. Ideally I should have been able to have sex a second time earlier today when I really wanted to. I am noticing that if I get semen one time, then a day or two later, I really, really strongly desire it a second time. It has hormonal effects when it enters the uterus and it does all kinds of things, from what I read, affecting the brain, and sending proteins into the bloodstream and all over the body.

The dramatic reaction I had the first time upon exposure to semen seems to be my body’s response to any new and unfamiliar substances. The immune system has a memory, which is located in the brain and located in other unknown locations in the body. I do not know how this memory works. But it has a memory, and when I eat a new and unfamiliar food for the first time, I often have very strange and disturbing sensations, such as dizziness or flushing sensations like blood is flowing a lot in my head or my body, or feeling like I’m going to pass out. The second time I eat that food, days later or weeks later, I don’t get such a strong reaction – my body remembers that this food is something it’s had before. It reacts strongly only the first time.

So perhaps it is the same way with semen in general, or perhaps, the immune system learns to recognize the semen of a particular individual person. So maybe there is a strong reaction every time I encounter a new person, because every person’s semen proteins are unique, I assume – or are they the same? Is it a universal protein? I imagine there must be variations. They said the semen proteins change if, for instance, there are lots of competitors around. Does that mean in the immediate moment of mating, or in the days prior to the mating?

But anyway, yes, that same thing happened this time – a day or two after getting the semen, I really, really, really strongly felt a desire to have sex and get semen again. I am sure it triggered this to happen. Ideally the mate should have been accessible for many days in a row during this time, but alas he is extremely hard to reach, and now, he says he is leaving, perhaps even to protect me from him, I wonder.

If this one fails this month, I will need a new one. This behavior is addictive. I should have started this ages ago, but back then, I didn’t believe it was okay to get food stamps, so I didn’t know how I would provide even the most basic needs. I thought getting food stamps was evil. I also didn’t want to marry someone because I didn’t want to get stuck in an abusive relationship where I depended on the man to give me the money. I thought I had to have some way to provide money for myself.

But now, I can become one of those people who the libertarians and others are always complaining about – the ‘stupid’ people who keep reproducing because the government supports their lifestyle and rewards them for having more children. I’m going to be one of those people! I’m 42, so there aren’t a lot more children left to have, although I could be lucky and maybe I will have extended fertility. I’m not really a ‘stupid person who keeps reproducing.’ I’m a smart person who has suffered extreme and unusual misfortunes for a very long time. Misfortunes, inconveniences, and difficulties, mountains of them. Pero, a pesar de this, I go on, at the weight of this. I haven’t studied Spanish in days due to the chaos of getting a new job. and losing agustin after finding him again.

I felt a strange sensation after the tiny sharp pain. It was a strange sensation in my head, as though I was affected by hormones. It lasted for a minute or two.

Still, I can only wait several more days, and a couple weeks to be sure.

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