Jesse and his girlfriend back together; Agustin is talking

I am extremely hungry – I ran out of milk and didn’t have enough for my cereal this morning, and I want some other foods. I hope I can get to town soon enough to buy something and eat it before work. This would have been one of those times when I would have used caffeine as a food substitute.

Jesse and Anastasia broke up temporarily because he says she cheated on him, but they are back together. That makes me feel better about the fact that I am now talking to Agustin. I just wish I could convince him to not use a condom again. He says he’s going to use a condom next time. I won’t go against his wishes. But it was so disappointing when he said that. I never want to see another condom again.

I want to finish my application for food stamps. That would make it safer to get pregnant.

How do I rationalize getting government money? That would take a lot of explaining – a lot of my opinions have changed. I no longer believe in the rightness of so-called ‘capitalism,’ because it depends on land ownership and cannot be done without land ownership. All capitalism. I am not merely complaining about ‘interventionism’ or ‘imperfect capitalism,’ I am complaining about real capitalism as such. If land ownership is required, if settled agriculture is required, that is what I am complaining about. I no longer believe capitalism is good. Because of that, I am now able to rationalize stealing money from people with taxes and using it to feed other people who don’t want to work merely because they don’t want to work.

I’m waiting for a taxi. I don’t have to take the taxi. I was able to take the bus. I just wasn’t willing to get up early enough – I was tired and I was talking to Agustin. But I am so hungry, I absolutely must go eat right away.

But…. condoms…. NOOOOOOOOOOOOO……… no condoms por favor…. I don’t care if it’s ‘Guatemalan Spermette’ or whatever I would be playing, taking my chances that one sperm will get me at the moment when my egg is alive – I don’t care anymore. I’m gonna be a welfare mama. Am I ashamed of that? Only if I talk to particular people. But I don’t believe in capitalism anymore.

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