What to do

If I communicate with Agustin I will need to know a few things, like whether he left because if me, whether he would prefer to be left alone, whether he really seriously doesn’t get my messages – i don’t know.

Next week I’m off on Labor Day Monday anyhow. The only day I will miss is Tuesday. It’s as though I called off sick one single day. Freddy asked me to give him an additional week, but I said no. I have a feeling that nothing will change between now and an additional week’s delay, especially since during this week I will only miss one single day. Would I have been fired for calling off sick that one day? Or am I expected to come to work and wash dishes while puking my guts out or something? Puke your guts out into the dish sink, or, get fired because you stayed home one day. It’s exactly as if I had, in fact, delayed it by one week like he asked. I just feel that there will be endless delays and endless excuses with no solution. I should have been able to do this long ago. It should have already happened. One additional week will change nothing. That is what I feel.

Agustin. What to do about him. I feel I’m about to start my period and I’m wearing a pad right now. If I had known it was possible to receive a full blast of semen straight to the uterus and not get pregnant, I wouldn’t have wasted money on condoms all those years, I would have just used the "rhythm" method and supplemented with condoms only during ovulation.

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