aggressive changes are desperately needed

I don’t have time to write this all out, but that’s the very problem that I’m talking about. I need to make massive, major schedule changes. I need to try again to put an ad on craigslist to get someone to take some of my evening shifts. I might change the details of my offer so it is more flexible. I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE MORE TIME OFF. I cannot function on this schedule. I have been riding the taxi home every single night. I was lucky last night and managed to get out early enough to take the bus. The amount of money that I spend in one day is equal to or greater than the amount that I earn. This is because I STILL HAVE NO FOOD AT HOME IN THE REFRIGERATOR. I am neither in this house nor out of it.

I’m still in caffeine withdrawal, and what I feel is extremely intense hunger. I do have cravings for coffee now. I told this to a cab driver who was surprised to learn that coffee was addictive. He was shocked when I told him that you go into drug withdrawal and get strong cravings that are almost irresistible. He was telling me the ‘one cup a day is just fine’ mantra. No, it’s not. For almost everyone, it leads to twenty cups a day, if you allow even one cup a day.

The only people who can drink one cup a day are people who have extremely rigid, inflexible schedules where nothing ever changes and there are never any unexpected changes or chaos. And they accomplish this by means of sheer force of will, denying themselves the additional coffee they desire no matter how painful it is to desire coffee all afternoon and all evening long. They are people who don’t mind forcing themselves to suffer pain for extremely long periods of time every day. This is a particular category of people. For that tiny, particular, narrow category of people, it is possible to drink only one cup a day. For other people who don’t like to suffer agonizing cravings for the entire afternoon and evening because one cup always makes you want more, this is unacceptable.

Anyway, so I’m irritable and extremely, painfully hungry right now, and I am so desperate to change my schedule but don’t have time to write a craigslist ad again this morning. I ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO DO THIS. THIS LIFESTYLE IS COMPLETELY, TOTALLY UNACCEPTABLE AND IT MUST CHANGE IMMEDIATELY. I DO NOT CARE WHAT I HAVE TO SACRIFICE IN ORDER TO CHANGE IT. I WILL SACRIFICE *SOMETHING*.

Another annoying thing, I have been contaminated with some unknown obesogenic substance, and I do not know what it is or where it is. It is causing me to be fatter than usual and heavier than usual even though I am not eating anything unusual and no longer drinking Coke. I still have this unusual belly fat that won’t go away. I need to troubleshoot and decontaminate my belongings and also decontaminate the bathtub in case it’s a drug residue from some visitor who lived here who might have taken prescription drugs. I am also wondering if there are drug residues on the toilet seats at work. I am absolutely getting some kind of fat-inducing substance from somewhere and I do not know where it is coming from. I am no longer drinking energy drinks with Splenda in them, and artificial sweeteners cause obesity. Would they cause obesity that still continues for months and months after I stop drinking them? How long do I wait until it goes away? I don’t think that’s it, I think I’m contaminated and need to do a decon, desperately. Guess what I can’t do in my nonexistent free time!

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