Kidney, el rinon

I don’t have the little things over top of the letters. One of the lessons in my grammar book (I have barely opened it in the last couple days because we are too busy at work now for me to look at the book for a few minutes during the slowest hours in the afternoon) was about the -on ending added to words. It was the opposite of ‘-ito’ and other diminutives, which are supposed to make something small and cute and lovable. -On makes something bigger, more extreme, or worse. The lesson warned us to be careful using this suffix until we were familiar with it because it could be pejorative. In that lesson, I saw the word ‘rinon’ listed as an example, kidney. I think they were pointing out that some nouns just have that ending, and other times, that ending means it’s augmentative.

Someone accidentally delivered Chinese food to our restaurant today. The person who ordered it was Kristiana who I knew from Taco Bell, a woman from Africa. Her name was on there, but I don’t know where she’s working nowadays so I couldn’t tell the driver to take it someplace else instead. I just happened to recognize her name.

This gave me the idea that I wanted Chinese food, so I ordered spicy pork kidney from 100 Degrees Hot Pot.

Gerber often goes to China Dragon and gets food for everyone, and they shared it with me, which was very nice of them and I love them for doing that, but alas it turned out that I really, really disliked the beef and broccoli meal that they usually got. It’s very hard to choose food for a group of people, and get something specific that each person likes, so you have to get something general that you know everyone can eat, unless you are going to take the time to write down each and every person’s order beforehand, and this is usually meant to be just a quick trip over there to get some food, not a huge ordeal. So I mentioned this to them and said I just didn’t really want to eat any of it but thanks anyway. I wish that I could.

When I got my meal I felt as though it was unfair to leave them out, and Gerber was nibbling on Doritos, which made it even worse – he was hungry enough to want to eat Doritos, while here I was eating this nice Chinese food that I ordered and wasn’t sharing with anyone, even though they had shared their food with me many times. I really, really wanted to share my food.

However, there are good reasons why I don’t share my food. My food is either 1. too expensive, because I was always buying weird coffees and weird juices and weird snacks, and I have weird preferences for certain kinds of things because of my interest in nutrition, or 2. it’s just so outright gross and disgusting that nobody else would even want to eat it. Today, I figured the kidney was so disgusting nobody would want to share it if I told them what it was. But it just seemed so wrong not to share it.

So I found the tiniest possible piece and put it on a plate and gave it to Gerber, and told him it was rinon, kidney. I hope to God it didn’t make him sick or make him throw up or anything. Kidney gives me some weird sensations, like a feeling that I’m going to pass out. I believe the reason why this happens is because the kidney is an organ that regulates blood pressure, and so, some of the hormones that control blood pressure are still inside the kidney when you are eating it, so you are actually taking a small dose of hormones. This is why I will not try to eat, for instance, adrenal glands. There have been people who claimed you could just eat these organs but I have a feeling it would be extremely dangerous to just eat an adrenal gland. But I can tolerate kidney.

Why would I want to eat kidney? It is extremely tender. People go to all this effort to make muscle meat more tender, by doing things to it. Organ meats are already tender. They have special nutrients in them. And it is a way to respect the animal, by using all of its body parts and not wasting anything and not throwing anything away, like primitive people would have done. We only waste food in a modern society.

I offered it to Gerber partly because he had seemed slightly curious about what I was eating, and also because I had a hunch that out of all the people that were there, it was most likely that I might be able to convince him to eat it. I wasn’t quite sure if I offered it to Carlos or Arturo if they might not just politely refuse. Gerber was willing to try it. I would feel horrible if it made him sick or anything. It wasn’t meant to be sadistic.

I went through the whole day drinking my home brewed strong coffee. I did not drink the entire bottle, and I still have some left over. I only had a craving for something very late in the day, and my craving was for milk, so I had a little bit of chai tea from the restaurant, our own chai tea. My coffee was black, which was why I was craving milk. I didn’t even add sugar to it. Milk is an extremely strong addiction. I have tried to stop eating dairy products before and it is VERY hard to stop. You go into withdrawal, real withdrawal just like with a drug, and you get intense cravings for milk, cheese, and other dairy products. Depending on how bad the withdrawal is, I will even start crying.

I was going to try to get my bike, but I ended up going to Weis Market and getting conditioner instead. Finesse conditioner is the only kind that really works for me. Other conditioners put sticky wax and stuff in my hair, gummy stuff, so that I can’t comb it, and my hair is long, so it *matters* if it gets all glued together by bad conditioner. I wasn’t able to comb my hair today so I had to put it into a bun. That usually means I’m having a bad hair day. It would have taken an hour to comb my hair with all the sticky gluey tangles in it from the bad conditioners I’ve been using. Finesse has different ingredients (although they are still undesirable, toxic, manmade, artificial chemicals, but even so) and for some reason that particular
combination of ingredients is exactly right, and has been for DECADES. They changed it, adding some useless garbage like ‘silk protein,’ but, I was using Finesse as a teenager in the 1990s for the same reason that I use it now. If they changed the formula, my entire universe would collapse. There is no alternative to Finesse conditioner. It isn’t sold at all grocery stores, which is why I had to go all the way to Weis to get it.

I was too tired to go get my bike after that, so I called a cab and came home.

Various people have been offering to help me, but I can’t accept the help yet because I haven’t decided what kind of apartment I want. I haven’t decided what location I aim to live in. I can’t accept help if whatever they give me violates the thing that I would have wanted if I had chosen a place myself. How far from town do I want to be? How much am I willing to pay? Does it have a place outdoors where my cat can go, so that I don’t have to keep him locked indoors forever, because I believe that’s cruel? I am actually overwhelmed by all the different people who are suggesting things to me and offering to help me in some way to find a home. There are too many suggestions. I have to know exactly what it is that I want, before I can accept a suggestion.

For example, they could suggest that I solve my problem of
homelessness by moving to China, where they have entire empty ghost cities that have been built and no one is living in them. Or someone could suggest that I go and ask for a free parcel of land in Russia. Sure, I’d love those things, but it violates a couple of my criteria, one of which is that I have relationships here that I don’t want to just lightly cast aside.

I have to sleep.

What if I didn’t write any blogs for a week? I would explode. I write blogs because I enjoy typing on a keyboard. It’s fun just to type.


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