Moved my stuff to the tent. A combination of drugs and a new location allowed me to envision the future for a fraction of a second, long enough to remember what that thought process feels like.

My housemate Eric was home. He and his girlfriend drove me over there in the truck. I took all the remaining stuff that had been on the porch. I am still in my bedroom and haven’t taken everything from there, but there is hardly anything, just some clothes and a pile of papers. It was extremely tiring, but not as bad as before because I had the wheeled dolly cart thing or ‘hand truck,’ so I did not have to carry or drag all the items down the path for hundreds of feet.

I would have had fewer items to carry but I was never able to finish compacting everything and sorting through it and getting rid of stuff. I have had absolute zero free time and absolute zero recovery from caffeine. So I carried nearly empty boxes packed with just a few items that I didn’t even want anymore, that kind of thing.

Caffeine withdrawal is absolutely essential for any kind of recovery. When I withdraw, I become able to motivate myself spontaneously again.

For the past week or so I have been feeling something that’s kind of like the onset of menstrual cramps, right before I get my period. It’s a very small, dull ache in that area. It isn’t unbearable, and I don’t need ibuprofen, and I can barely feel it at all, but it is lingering.

This morning after I woke up, one of the voices in my head pretended to say some things that I would agree with – probably as a ‘reward’ to me for having gotten work done. It was one of those distorted, fake attempts to give a reward and to pretend to be somebody they’re not and will never be. The voices were pretending to acknowledge the phenomenon of feeling hopeless, and they were pretending to admit that I was right whenever I predicted ahead of times which relationships were not going to work out (I have done that for decades, even before I knew socionics, and have been proven right every time).

My response to this was anger and sarcasm, or rather, another voice in my head pretended to respond with anger and sarcasm – gee, does that mean you’re going to suddenly stop forcing me to chase after people who will never respond and force me to start relationships that will never work out in the long run? Does that mean that you’re going to have a sudden, total, 180-degree change in policy, when the official policy is to waste every hour and every minute of my life, totally destroy all of my freedom until my body is completely wasted and unable to have children, completely destroy every attempt of my brain to use free will –

It happened last night whenever I was in the woods. There seemed to be a *slight* lag or delay in the attacks, at that particular time in that location. Maybe they haven’t been fully equipped to attack me yet when I am in that location, because most of their equipment is directed at this house where I am now. I don’t know, but for a fraction of a second, while I was lying on the ground in the forest – and maybe it’s because I was grounding, too – I was able to partially use my brain for a fraction of a second longer than I am normally allowed to.

I experienced a mental brain flow while imagining what I was going to do in the future time. I have a sort of nonverbal, indescribable image in a particular location in my brain, which seems to combine a kind of calendar representation of time, or a location in space which represented ‘next Sunday.’ I was seeking to plan ahead for what I was going to do next Sunday to finish moving out the rest of my
belongings.

THIS IS WHAT I MEAN. It doesn’t matter that the mental process that I am doing, and the particular material that I am thinking about, is TOTALLY HARMLESS AND TOTALLY TRIVIAL. I AM NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE THE SLIGHTEST CONTROL OVER MY OWN FUTURE ACTIONS AT ALL. DO YOU UNDERSTAND???? I…. AM… NOT… ALLOWED… TO…. HAVE… THE… SLIGHTEST…. CONTROL…. OVER… MY…. OWN…. FUTURE….
ACTIONS…. AT…. ALL. Period.

For a couple fractions of a second longer than usual, with slightly less background noise than usual, maybe because I was literally grounding while lying on my back on the dirt resting, maybe because I was in a slightly different location than usual, I experienced a few fractions of a second of brain flow. I was looking into next Sunday, which is located in a specific location in space, somewhere off to the right, as though it’s on a calendar and as though the entire weekend is on the right, with both Saturday and Sunday together over there.

In some kind of nonverbal, kinesthetic way, which combined imaginary physical bodily sensations, vague nonspecific undetailed images which were gray and swirly looking and not actual objects, and seeing this in a particular location in space off to the right, I was able to see the future, next Sunday, imagining how exactly I was going to continue moving the rest of my stuff out of the house.

Do you understand HOW TRIVIAL THIS IS???? I wasn’t planning how to build a bomb. I wasn’t planning how I was going to mass murder a million people. I WAS FUCKING PLANNING HOW I WAS GOING TO MOVE MY BELONGINGS INTO THE TENT NEXT FUCKING SUNDAY.

So for whatever reason I was able to do that mental process a fraction of a second longer and more clearly than usual, long enough and clearly enough to recognize, ‘Hey! This is the brain process I’ve been prevented from doing ever since 2003 when the worst of the attacks began!’ I had a feeling of mental flow and a feeling of mental pleasure. It is a pleasant activity to look into my own future and control it. I can see what I am going to make myself do in the future.

If I know anything at all about the mind controllers, I know they are not in the Delta Quadra of socionics, because they are somebody who strongly disvalues the individual’s ability to imagine themselves doing something in the future, which is strongly associated with my own particular personality type. That is my one special strength.

Who are the murderers? This eternal question comes up over and over again, forever. Who are the evil, soulless morons who try to control the world in this particular way by doing this particular thing? I don’t call them ‘demons’ because that makes them seem cool and awesome and powerful and supernatural. Other targeted individuals make them sound like the attackers are some kind of super-human huge powerful force. They are not. They are extremely stupid, narrow-minded people who perform mindless rituals for no reason again and again. They believe, for some stupid insane reason, that it’s life-or-death important for them to prevent me from using that part of my brain where I control my own actions in the future and look into the future to see what I am doing and how I am doing it. Their stupidity and patheticness is immeasurable.

I did that brain process for a fraction of a second, and then, of course, got the ***ZAP!!!!*** of a cattle prod electrocuting my brain and my entire body to jerk me out of the thought process. I tried, and tried, and tried, and tried again to re-enter that thought process, but could not go there. It was as though my brain had been physically burned in that region because I had been using it during the moment when I was zapped. It was as though the electrical conduits in my brain had been fried by the huge electrical surge when I was tasered by this electronic weapon. I tried and tried but could not think, could not flow, could not focus, and could not re-enter the mind-state I had been in when I was looking into the future, seeing next Sunday, and envisioning what I would do to move the rest of my belongings into the tent.

It was such a shallow and brief thought, not enough time to really understand or grasp even more than the most superficial concepts. If I could have continued the thought, I would have realized that there was probably not going to be enough time next Sunday for me to finish, or else I would have realized that I needed to get up earlier in the day to be able to do it, or I would have realized several more things I needed to do that I was unable to conceive of. But as it is, I am going to be stupid and idiotic and I will go into the future having no idea what is going to happen and no control over it, a completely blind fool who gets to next Sunday and says, ‘Derp de derr! Hey, it’s Sunday! I’m off work! I think I’ll sit around taking caffeine pills and messing around on the internet all day long, because I have no values and no priorities and nothing matters to me and I don’t care about anything and I don’t care what happens to me and I don’t care whether any of my plans ever get done or not!’

I was probably using something in my brain which actually *is* located over on the right. In Dario Nardi’s diagrams he shows my personality type using the ‘personal values’ section, which is going to be the valued +Fi of the Delta Quadra, using that area a lot, and it actually is located up in the upper right side of the brain. There is another thing located on the right side of the brain, in the lower part in the back, which looks into the future, which my personality type is also able to use. I would have been using both of those parts together, asking something like, ‘What are my personal values? What matters most to me on this earth? What do I care about? What do I desire? How do I envision myself in the future taking actions to achieve those desires and keep my behavior in line with my values?’

It would have been the combination of two brain areas both located over on the right side, and I was seeing some vague gray non-object images when the electrical activities were occurring on the right side of my brain in those sections. ‘The will’ is part of what’s located in the thing in the lower right in back, in Dario Nardi’s diagrams, the will to take an action in the future, the will to envision in detail what you are going to do and then actually do it, because you imagined it so clearly and could feel yourself doing it. All of those brain processes are extremely empowering to the individual, and they are exactly the thing that mind controllers do not want you to use. And those processes exist in particular personality types, but are extremely weak or almost nonexistent in other personality types. Some personality types do not imagine themselves in the future performing some kind of physical action, and then actually go and do that physical action for real.

This is why I need a workshop, and I absolutely must have an electromagnetic shield. I will test the shield, building new materials and new layers onto it, and then I will observe the changes in the background noise – am I able to reduce the electromagnetic noise of things that aren’t directed at me personally, such as the noise pollution from millions of people using cell phones, and millions of people watching satellite TV, and so on? We are completely immersed in electromagnetic noise from millions of sources that are not actually directed at me personally, things that are not meant to be an attack. It IS POSSIBLE to reduce that particular kind of background noise, because the people who are making that noise are not going to respond by cranking up the volume. It isn’t directed at you personally, so they don’t care if you stop hearing that particular background noise.

However, there is a whole separate phenomenon of attacks that are directed at me personally, and they DO care if I successfully shield myself against those attacks. So if I build a shield, and it works, I anticipate that the soul murderers will probably find a way to ‘crank up the volume,’ to attack more loudly, to use alternative methods of attack, to do anything and everything possible to get through the shield for the purpose of preventing me from imagining in my mind the exact steps necessary for vacuuming the floor of my apartment (which was one of the most trivial examples that I remember from the past, being attacked severely and extremely merely because I was trying to envision in my mind how exactly I was going to do the housecleaning).

It is impossible to convey this to anyone who hasn’t experienced it. You simply cannot imagine the magnitude, and the stupidity and pointlessness, of evil, of the soul murderers, of their insanity. Their pointless, stupid insanity is simply inconceivable to any normal human being. They are completely insane, completely stupid and moronic, and yet, at the same time, they possess large amounts of money and power and are able to operate machines and systems on a global scale to do this activity to me and others like me. Stupid insane people, who simultaneously possess endless money and power, time and resources, and cooperation from millions of other insane morons exactly like themselves – that’s unthinkable to any normal human being. Thousands of insane morons, cooperating to do insane things, and to do them well, and to succeed at doing them, insane and pointless rituals that achieve nothing. Hey! I know! Let’s do a headstand at sunrise every day while chanting the hari krishna! That will fix everything that’s wrong with the world! Let’s force everyone on the entire planet to do this exact thing, and find out whether it makes the hari krishna god finally wake up and save us all! Let’s use electronic weapons to prevent innocent normal harmless people from imagining how they are going to vacuum their bedrooms or move their belongings into the tent next Sunday! THAT’LL fix what’s wrong with the world!!!!!

That’s right, people. Have fun with that.

Anyway, after the non-directed background noise is successfully blocked by the shield, the attacks will probably remain and continue and escalate. They will become even more noticeable. BUT WITHOUT ANY BACKGROUND NOISE, THEY WILL STICK OUT LIKE A FUCKING… SORE… THUMB.

So I will be inside my shield with some kind of energy detection equipment. No background noise, no false positives. Nothing but silence. In the midst of this silence my equipment will suddenly detect a massive electrical surge occurring for no reason at all. It will be recorded into the recording equipment, and the electrical signal will be analyzed so that we can decode its content. What? This electrical surge contains VOICES? ???? You mean actual human voices are encoded into this radio wave that suddenly bombarded me while I was inside the shield? You mean I can actually PROVE that somebody is blasting me with radio waves that are carrying encoded voices and putting them into my head? You mean I can prove that it’s TOTALLY ABNORMAL for this sudden surge of radio activity directed straight at me and straight into my shield, in the midst of a total absence of background noise, sticking out like a sore thumb?

Well, that is my plan for the future. I can remove the background noise, but probably not the attacks. But as I cannot stop them, at least I can detect them and record whatever my equipment detects. It will take a lot of money and a lot of time and I will need a location in which to build my shield, and lots of money to buy the equipment. Other people have this equipment, but they are not doing what I am describing, because the people who have the equipment are, often, the soul murderers themselves, and it is their desire to use all their equipment to destroy freedom, and not to release people from slavery.

I’m gonna be late for work and I probably have to take a cab today. I can’t catch the bus, because it was more important for me to express what I was thinking about and what I experienced than it was for me to get to work on time today.

I attempted to start building a shield at Mary Jo’s apartment, but of course, they decided that I would experience one forced disruption after another after another. The ‘shield’ was composed of nothing but a mere couple of cardboard boxes taped together and covered with aluminum foil. I was going to go inside it and observe whether or not I could detect any changes whatsoever in the non-directed background noise of cell phones and what not. Because of the constant, nonstop job losses and apartment losses and forced relocations happening to me a couple times a year, I cannot even so much as build a shield MADE OF CARDBOARD AND ALUMINUM FOIL. CARDBOARD! FOIL! I cannot even test the reduction of BACKGROUND NOISE!

I had caffeine pills and ginseng yesterday, and it’s still in me, not to mention the energy drinks I had yesterday and today.

All right… I will go to my job again. I will take a cab.

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