I’m writing this from home, so no PutaCorrect. I MUST HAVE A WORKSHOP, in all caps… WORKSHOP…. WORKSHOP…

I’m seriously not sure whether the number of errors I have to constantly correct is greater, or less, when AutoCorrect is on. It might be only slightly less, numerically. The number of times I have to hit backspace to go fix something created by autocorrect, versus the number of times I have to hit backspace to go fix something that I mistyped because of thumb typing on a tiny keyboard that can’t even go to a landscape setting on my particular phone – I don’t know, there’s not much difference between those two numbers. At least my own typos have some faint resemblance to what I typed, rather than being some completely random insane words that came out of the ether.

I was going to comb my hair and get ready for work, but I decided to write a blog instead. So I probably will have uncombed hair at work. I will have to do something. Usually if I have my hair up in a bun it means it’s a bad hair day and I wasn’t able to comb my hair or something.

I also need a new keyboard for my home computer.

I lost all hope, and don’t know where to find it. I am neither off drugs nor on them. So I do not have the artificial manic hope and infinite power that comes from using St. John’s Wort, tobacco (through secondhand smoke and transdermal residues, as I don’t smoke), ginseng, and any other herbal drugs. My malnutrition is still bad, and green smoothies / green raw juices do not help. I would have to
painstakingly customize the ingredients that I demand in the juices that I buy at the deli, and they do not have enough different types of greens for me to painstakingly test each one to find out which greens were the most poisonous.

Kale is, apparently, so goitrogenic that it even causes hair loss – I’m pretty sure I started losing my hair while drinking those kale smoothies. And people say that vegetarians suffer these symptoms because of ‘malnutrition?’ Or ‘lack of vitamins?’ Not so. They suffer these symptoms because their vegetables are actively poisoning them, due to people’s ignorance about the existence of naturally occurring poisons in every single plant on earth, which does not exist merely for us to eat it.

It might have been the almond milk, too. Almond milk is an insane manmade substance that no primitive society would have ever made or used for any reason, and although I don’t know for sure what’s in it, I can only guess that it probably contains some kind of rancid vegetable oils, any kind of rancid chemical-extracted oils at all, like canola oil or something.

When I say that I am losing hope, this does not mean it is permanent. It means, rather, that it is August and I have lost an entire year to this chaos. I have had several years of chaos and instability in a row, due to my not having a long term home. I used to live in an apartment where I stayed for many years in a row, and during that time I had more progress and stability.

I ABSOLUTELY MUST HAVE A WORKSHOP. This is life or death. I do not merely ‘need a home,’ and all the homeless shelters on earth will not give me a workshop. All of the government agencies geared towards helping homeless people find a home, or helping people find low income housing, will do absolutely nothing to make any REAL PROGRESS, real material progress which is long lasting, MATERIAL PHYSICAL PROGRESS, because they are completely oblivious to the existence of humans who require workshops. Workshops? What is work? What are skills? Does somebody want to do some kind of arts and crafts or something? That’s not a necessity, that’s merely a trivial and unimportant little hobby. We don’t provide you with those luxuries so that you can have fun doing your trivial stupid little hobbies.

I require workshops which I can fill with permanent, material tools and infrastructure, and, simultaneously, I must have the free time in which to use and operate those tools. In the shop, I will put each object into a specific location in such a way that it minimizes stress on my body to operate these tools. This is socionics. This is what the SLI-ISTp brain is designed to do.

I need many different tools to do many different things, and I also need to use strange and unusual and unconventional setups which violate common social norms in our society – for example, I might want to have all of my tables at a LOWER HEIGHT so that SHORT PEOPLE can use them. I do not want to go to the store and buy a normal table made for normal people. I might even want to have tables and tools made for use while SITTING DOWN or SITTING ON THE FLOOR. I must be completely free to design this workshop exactly as I see fit, and not allow any other person to control this design, to control the position of every object, the specific locations that I have chosen for my own reasons. No one else can do that but me.

I will need to have things like a sewing area where I sew my own clothes, a cooking area where I do not merely heat food up to ‘cook’ it, but also where I will dry food, or sun-dry it, so that it can be stored without refrigeration, and process food in all kinds of ways. I also require a ‘toxic workshop’ where I will handle modern manmade materials that contain poisonous metals and chemicals, because I require the building of an ELECTROMAGNETIC SHIELD.

Homeless shelters, and every government and non-government
organization made to ‘help the homeless,’ is in a completely different universe from this ENTIRE FRAME OF MIND. They are completely BLIND to the existence of a need for individual people to possess workshops where they can have infrastructure and tools set up in such a way that they themselves can operate these things smoothly and without pain or inconvenience. This entire universe that I live in just absolutely does not even exist to them. They do not view this as an extremely high priority human need, but a trivial and silly luxury that only a wealthy person should ever be able to demand.

But if I were living in a house made of sticks that I built myself in the forest, I would have this ‘wealthy luxury’ that I do not have now. If I lived in my stick house, there would absolutely be a specific location where I processed all of my food, and a specific location where I would sit to flint-knap all of my knives and arrowheads. I would not merely have a roof over my head. Physical, material tools are absolute life or death. These are physical possessions. They are absolutely necessary in order to achieve any progress.

They require a stable environment, a stable location, to be set down in. This location cannot keep being violated by other people who are more dominant (usually male, but not always – a female homeowner, like Mary Jo at the other house, dominates the physical space and controls the locations of objects, such that her entire kitchen was COMPLETELY UNUSABLE because it was one entire huge pile of shit, covering every inch of every surface.). In the house where I am now, I have no workshop. I temporarily had my sewing machine down in the family room, but then Mike moved back into the house, and he spends every waking minute of his free time either 1. jogging 500 miles because he wrongly believes exercise is good for you, and 2. watching television and fooling around on the computer. He loudly watches TV down in the very same room where I temporarily attempted to put my machine, and he piled a bunch of random junk on top of the very couch where I was temporarily sitting – there are two couches – one small, one big – and he piled all the crap on top of the small couch where I had been sitting to use the machine. I cannot use it while people are in there watching TV. I cannot use it when people are judging me for not being employed (which is why I couldn’t do anything all those months at the beginning of the year). I cannot use tools while being judged and dominated by other people controlling the space. I AM SICK AND TIRED OF BEING CONSTANTLY DOMINATED BY OTHER PEOPLE’S CONTROL OF MY PHYSICAL MATERIAL SPACE AND THE LOCATIONS OF EVERY TOOL THAT I NEED TO USE AND OPERATE IN ORDER TO MAKE MATERIAL, PHYSICAL, LONG-LASTING,
IRREVERSIBLE, PERMANENT PROGRESS THAT WILL NOT BE CONSTANTLY UNDONE AND DISTURBED AND DESTROYED.

I guess I will post this. I have to take a cab to work today. I did not ride the bike home – I do not want to destroy my hips even more.

I need things that the ‘homeless shelters’ and every fucking organization to ‘help the homeless’ cannot provide. Their worldview is completely alien, and completely useless for, and totally in conflict with, my own. I do not merely need a box to live in and a roof over my head and a badly designed refrigerator that I
passionately hate and want to set fire to and burn it in the incinerator because of the insane stupidity of its space-wasting, space-destroying, inconvenient and useless design, where you can’t see anything, can’t reach anything, can’t fit anything, and can’t customize anything. Morons design fridges and sell them to other morons. I do not want that kind of refrigerator. I want an industrial food service cooler with wire rack shelving that can be moved up or down and a window on the front of the door so I can see what’s inside. These cost a lot but they are absolutely worth it to prevent me from wanting to nuclear bomb my refrigerator into oblivion because of my passionate hatred for it. They are just as badly designed as automobiles.

I do not want these things that the low-income-housing people will give to me. They never give me a workshop. They do not include a workshop as an essential life-or-death utility that I must have, a place where I can move things, have lots of room, can relocate things, add new walls or subtract walls, or put up pegboards and hang things on them, or get dirty and use toxic substances, or make extremely loud noises at 4:00 in the morning which will be heard by every neighbor within a mile of me because I decided that now is the time when I need to operate my drill. This is what I require for progress. No progress will occur until I have this thing.

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