waiting for students to come back

I’m not sure exactly when the Penn State students come back, but it will be soon. One of the reasons why I couldn’t find a job anywhere was because I was hunting while the students were out of town, so nobody really needed to hire me, although some of that was fake – there were places that had signs in the windows saying they needed someone, then they rejected me when I went there. I had reason to believe that the mind controllers did a couple of things to bring about my getting hired at Kaarma. But once the students come back I will have a lot of places to choose from because everyone will be hiring. Our town is completely dead when students are gone.

By the way, since only a tiny fraction of our population is involved with farming nowadays, there is no reason to have a summer break from any school, whether it’s college, or elementary school. Summer break was so that people could help on the farm.

I was happy again last night when I went into the woods. The fresh air there makes me happy. I am going to feel good once I get there. The only thing that bothers me is the lack of progress, which is caused by the lack of permanent infrastructure. I need a permanent workshop where I can build things and use tools and machines. One of the things I desperately need to build is an electromagnetic shield that will block multiple types of attacks. I cannot build something like this in a tiny, cramped little bedroom apartment, or build it where housemates and landlords will see it. I also do not want to be constantly touching copper and getting contaminated with it, because copper causes insanity – I experienced it when I wore copper hairpins in wet hair, and it went through my skin.

I didn’t write a note to Agustin this morning. I am under too much stress. I was just barely able to get up and I still have to go catch the bus. I am very tired from lifting all that stuff.

‘They’ did a whole bunch of fake tricks to make me believe my coworkers were reading my blog, but I know that’s not true – they have better things to do than that.

Carlos told me that when he went home after work, he cooked a meal at home and they all stayed awake until 2:00 am. That sounds great if you have a whole group of people who are all close together and are all eating the same food. All of the Guatemalans are like a family. They call each other ‘brother’ and ‘cousin’ and other pet names even though they’re not related. The one guy who Carlos says is his brother, I don’t think it really is his brother, I think it’s just some guy who was close enough to him that they lived near each other or something in Guatemala.

But if you are a single person cooking for yourself, very late at night in a house where other people are sleeping and you have to be quiet, and you have no space at all in the kitchen to set up your infrastructure, and no space in the refrigerator – I was always cramming all my stuff onto a tiny shelf, because they have an Idiot Fridge here, a fridge marketed to normal consumers. The only fridge worth owning is an industrial cooler. It may or may not have a glass front so that you can see what’s inside – I want mine to have glass on the front. It will have shelves all made out of metal – what’s the word, metal wires, metal bands, I can’t think of the word right now. Thin round pieces of metal all lined up, which liquids can drip through. They won’t be flat shelves. Racks. The racks can be moved higher or lower. This is the only fridge worth owning. Fridges marketed to consumers are absolutely worthless, moronically stupidly bad, and they should all be burned in the fires of hell.

Speaking of being burned in the fires of hell, I had a dream, which was clearer than usual, probably because I had ephedra residues on me. My house was being destroyed by a tornado. But as the tornado was right outside our house, I saw a red dinosaur outside the house, kicking in the windows with its feet (it was like a – what are the really big plant eating ones called, I am having a memory problem, I cannot recall words – the really big ones that are almost the biggest dinosaurs, the generic dinosaur – I cannot remember it at all. My memory is damaged.). There were other things out there too, attacking the house.

After I saw this, and after the tornado was over, I went and found my mom. She was still alive and I told her that the damage of a tornado was actually being done by dinosaurs. She had seen the red dinosaur too. I speculated that maybe, the dinosaurs were deep underground, living secretly under the earth, and the tornado pulled them up out of cracks in the ground, so that they were temporarily walking around on the surface.

This was a lot like Harry Potter, where the government was hiding damage done by giants, saying it was a hurricane.

When I was forced awake after the dream, the voices in my head told me that ‘red dinosaur’ is actually ‘read,’ in the past tense, like, ‘I have read this.’ ‘Dinosaur’ refers to my old computer. The hackers and other people read what was on my computer, which was, my old fiction stories, some of which were saved on an old floppy disk, and I moved them onto the computer. They saw that I idealized skinny guys as the most attractive, when I was a teenager, and so that’s when the phenomenon began where they started forcing me to get crushes on skinny guys who were often SEE-ESFps. Martin at Weis was the first, and the most disastrous, and I was under the influence of a lot of drugs, much more than I am now. It was horrible. I don’t have time to tell the story. They are doing this because they think it is what I want, or something.

But it’s impossible to characterize your weak socionic functions in a story. I cannot, and never could, write a character who was exactly like my socionic dual. They think of things to say that I would never think to say, which is exactly why you need them – they are able to do things you can’t do. If you can’t do those things, you also can’t put them into a fictional story character, either. So my ideal ‘hot guy’ in all those stories was always kind of an ESFP type, and some of it was based on crushes I had in school, and some of my brother’s friends. That was all I had experience with. The ENFP type is so rare that you almost never encounter them, so I had no idea how to characterize an ENFP in a story, and so they weren’t in my stories. The mind controllers / hackers decided to ‘give me what I wanted as a teenager,’ as though I even KNEW what I wanted.

I don’t have time to rant – I have to catch the bus. This will be hard to do because my bike is parked in the garage in town. I have to walk to the bus which takes about 13 minutes.

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