I had to be told by hearing voices in my head about how to interpret the thing that Agustin did which I wasn’t able to interpret correctly. Sadly, being unable to interpret the meaning of things is my socionic type weakness. I don’t know if what “they” told me is actually true. I’m impatient to simply learn Spanish so that I can fix
misinterpretations more easily.

I’m still debating about writing him an extremely brief note on paper, but I hesitate, because at this time I will still have to use the Spanish Dictionary that is online, which means the hackers will see all of the words that I’m looking up. There is a difference between ‘the hackers’ and ‘the mind controllers / mind readers.’ They are not necessarily the same group of people. I have been harassed by hackers about anything that I have done online and I want to avoid having them see every word that I look up to try to translate something I want to say to Agustin, because it is the perfect opportunity to do things to me for the rest of eternity.

The hackers went insane when I was on Prozac and became so numb I wasn’t able to have an orgasm, and I used my credit card to buy sex toys at a local shop. They saw that sex toys were on my credit card and I got hundreds of spam emails harassing me about it for a long time, insane, stupid, idiotic harassment. It made me murderously angry at the time and was not funny at all, although it might sound funny to someone who hasn’t experienced being harassed by hackers at the time when you are already a mind-numbed psychopath on Prozac who is ready to murder people. Note: I am not on Prozac now. I am just remembering what happened back then and why I went crazy.

I had energy drinks yesterday and this morning, so I was under the influence of ginseng yesterday. I need to just write a note to Agustin because being unable to communicate or fix misunderstandings is extremely frustrating. I feel like I am an animal, a pet, who cannot communicate with its owners. I don’t want to keep damaging our relationship by failing to interpret the messages that he tries to send to me, failing to interpret his intentions. Damn socionics! I am helpless to interpret the meanings of new symbolic gestures rapidly, and tend to ignore them and just keep blindly doing the same things I always do. He did a particular thing and I failed to respond correctly the other day, but it was clearly and definitely something he did deliberately.

I might rent a car today, maybe. Moving my stuff into a rental car will make it easier to get out of the house.

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