I’m so evil, I ignored him while he meowed outside for the past hour because I was in bed

Normally when he meows, even ONCE, I will rush downstairs at full speed at 3:00 am to let him back in. I keep the window open so I can hear him. But now I am sleeping naked because it’s been 115 degrees outside for the last few days, and I have to either put on a towel or put on some filthy work clothes if I want to go running downstairs to open the door for him while they are sleeping on the couch. I do usually take my chances if it’s the middle of the night and I will actually run downstairs naked if I know that nobody is going to be awake and walking around, but I won’t run through a room with people sleeping on the couch. So I actually ignored him while he meowed for the last hour, hoping that maybe someone downstairs would be a non-sociopath who would open a door for a meowing cat, because his cruel, heartless owner would not do it. Nope! Fucking sociopaths!

Meanwhile, I swear I had five cans of food, and I only used three and cannot find any more. What the fuck, was I only dreaming that I bought five cans? It would be no surprise if that’s what happened because of how little sleep I am getting.

I also sincerely believe that the goitrogenic kale in the green raw juices and green smoothies really does attack the thyroid just as I thought it did, because I started developing extreme and severe physical exhaustion in the last few days, so severe that I was having to try to doze off at work in the evening, and yesterday I took one of the Motrin pills that Carlos had up on the shelf. I’m tired way beyond my usual level of tiredness. I’m back to drinking cans of espresso because that’s the only thing strong enough.

Now he is inside the house meowing because he either wants another can of food (which I can’t find but I swear I have somewhere in this pile of garbage on the floor), or he is too scared to eat the disgusting artificially colored food downstairs in the bowl while there are scary people on the couch, or he wants the cat treats which are all gone and there aren’t any more in the bag and he kept trying to get into the bag while it was lying on the floor in the pile of garbage (since my garbage bags are outside with all the stuff that I was ready to move in the truck last Sunday), so I had to put the bag up on my bed next to the pillow so that he would stop trying to get into it in the middle of the night while I was sleeping.

The plus side of all this: some dude is supposedly going to take over my Monday and Tuesday evening shifts. I MIGHT HAVE SOME FREE TIME IN THE FUTURE. That will give me an opportunity to have sex with an illegal minor so that I can go to jail. Mwahahahahaha! I have plans for that free time!

(I’m actually not very concerned about this, believe it or not. It either simply won’t happen, or if it did happen, there would be nobody who complained about it, kind of like the cash money I’m receiving as my wages which is below minimum wage and which doesn’t have any taxes taken out of it either by me or by my employer, probably. My only genuine concern about having sex with a teenager is that *HE* might feel that I am pushing him to do something without his consent that he isn’t sure he wants to do. I’m 41 years old and there is absolutely nothing that I am going to complain about in this situation, other than having my heart broken when he inevitably falls in love with someone else, or whatever will happen. I don’t even know for certain how old he is, I only know that he has the cuteness of a teenager who hasn’t completely grown up yet. He could be nineteen for all I know. Also, how on earth is such a thing going to happen when I don’t even know for sure if I am going to get free time or not?)

I looked at the price of rent for businesses in State College. I didn’t have a lot of time to look at this, but I happened to see one example where you would have to pay about $3,300 a month in rent. Yeah… over $3,000 in rent each month. That’s not the same for every business, it was just one example. All of this slavery and all of this suffering, because of rent.

I was fantasizing about starting a restaurant of my own. I will hire every single fucking Mexican in the country of Guatemala, and bring them up here, and rescue Carlos’s entire family of six brothers and sisters who are all getting the money that he sends to them so that they can afford to buy, I dunno, a bag of rice. I swear that he said rice was very expensive there.

It’s understandable because this is one of those countries that has been incompletely modernized. The invaders come in and destroy the traditional hunter-gatherer-farmer way of life, but then leave the people with absolutely nothing as a substitute, so they have no way of earning money. Then they come in and exploit the land, by farming and mining it and stealing it away from the natives. The natives have no way to get a job or earn even a couple dollars so even a bag of rice is unaffordable, while in the USA, we view rice as the cheapest possible thing that you can eat, and we throw thousands of tons of it in the garbage. Carlos said that down there, they only cook exactly what they are going to eat each day, and they DO NOT throw hundreds of thousands of tons of rice into the garbage. Amen.

I won’t get into the technical issue of money printing and why dollars that come from the USA are so much more scarce and valuable in Guatemala.

So my restaurant will hire every fucking person who lives in Guatemala. They won’t even have to move up here and live in the USA. I’ll just mail them their wages down there and they can stay at home. It’s a stay at home restaurant job. They are telecommuting.


3 Responses to “I’m so evil, I ignored him while he meowed outside for the past hour because I was in bed”

  1. Anonymous Says:


  2. Nicole Says:

    But my boss is named Freddy! Do I have to tell Freddy to leave? That makes me sad!

  3. Nicole Says:

    I wonder if that was the day when I said, ‘Why is it that I can actually look at something and SEE it all of a sudden?’ I really did, I looked up at a building and suddenly noticed it was there, when it had been there all along.

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