I’m a little bit anxious

I’m in such an irritable mood, and tired, and hungry, but when I see Agustin I don’t want to seem grouchy because I don’t want him to think I’m mad at him. I still don’t know if I am courageous enough to touch him freely. I’m so afraid of losing him or doing something wrong because I can’t communicate verbally to him. I can’t just say, ‘I’m in a crappy mood but it’s not because of you, it’s because my life sucks and it always sucks and never stops sucking.’ Last night I was jealous when he said goodbye to one of the waitresses who I really like and get along well with. I believe in polyamory in principle, but I get jealous in reality. I’ll feel better when I get all my stuff settled and when I get something to eat and all that. I am ‘walking on eggshells’ hoping that I don’t send the wrong signals to him.

Oh, by the way, I am trying to decipher a word. It’s something like ‘Wewo.’ I tried looking this up in a slang dictionary, and it might possibly be ‘Wew,’ which is like ‘Wow,’ an exclamation. But I am sometimes hearing a similar word in situations where ‘Wow’ wouldn’t make sense. I wondered if I was hearing ‘huevo,’ egg, because I happened to notice that word too when I was looking up words, but there was only one time when I think I heard someone say ‘dos huevos,’ two eggs, maybe. We do use eggs there so it could have been eggs. But people are saying it at other times. I can’t spell it. I can’t hear it well enough because I am usually too far away when somebody says it.

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