Constant pain – fuel for obsession

I am observing how my obsession works. Agustin is here. I am in constant low level pain. I constantly feel a desire to go to him to be comforted. If I were not in constant pain, there would be no obsession. I just desperately want to touch him, nonstop, all the time, when he is near or far from me. Even though I know he would not stop the pain, I instinctively seek this comfort, from the most sexually attractive person I can see. Even if I were freely allowed to touch him, he would quickly become annoyed at my constant neediness and clinginess, always hanging on him and hugging and snuggling. People can like to be touched but they don’t want nonstop neediness.

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