Waiting till the end of the week to move stuff

I’m just hanging on waiting for time to pass, hoping that on Sunday night I’ll have the energy to pack my stuff up and move it. Mike has offered to let me use the truck but he has to be here on Sunday night to drive it (it’s so quirky, it’s not able to be borrowed and driven by just anyone).

I could rent a car. But the timing of this wouldn’t work. There’s no way to get to a car rental place to rent it or give it back.

Socionics: "Ne" and "Ni": N stands for iNtuition. They chose the letter N because the letter I was already being used for "introvert," in the Myers-Briggs system. "Ne" stands for extraverted intuition, and "Ni" stands for introverted intuition. "Ne" is about possibilities and potentials; "Ni" is about time and symbolism – actually I can’t define it in just one or two words.

I can see the differences in how Freddy and I (quasi-identicals) think of time. For the LSI-ISTJ, time management is more important, controlling how you spend your time, because Ni is valued in the Beta Quadra (the Betas are the LSI, EIE, SLE, and IEI, all of whom have similar values and similar thinking styles and can easily understand each other). They like to know how long something is going to take, and know when recurring events are going to happen.

But I am in the Delta Quadra (SLI, IEE, LSE, EII) and we value Ne: potentials, projects, new ideas, having the ability to do something. When I think about what I want to use my free time for, I can only say "unexpected things and projects." My free time will be used for the unknown and unexpected, which is why I can’t squeeze my activities into the small existing time slots that I have. I don’t know what I will be doing, so I don’t know how long it will take. It will be for things that are non-routine and non-recurring.

I slept on the couch at Mike’s house. I know I am officially unwelcome, but at least he can see that I’ve moved my stuff onto the porch. I have been hearing voices / having visions of hostile, angry people who hate me and want to kill me. Last night while lying on the couch I had a vision that Mike was so angry at me for not leaving yet that he wanted to strangle me, and the image made an angry gesture of reaching its hands towards my throat. Then another voice, which was supposed to be "the real Mike," was saying that wasn’t a good way to deal with this problem. It was supposed to suggest that Mike is inwardly feeling extremely angry but hiding it, or something. I don’t like those threatening visions but am having a lot of them.

There is just absolutely no way I can move my belongings to the tent after getting out of work. It cannot be done. It is unreasonable. I can only do it on a night off.

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