Let’s pretend we’re a self-centered sociopath. Torture is continuing. I laid down to sleep after my shower.

Because that’s what the Christian Science book is encouraging me to feel like. The implications of this philosophy suggest that I should fear nothing. Let’s evaluate Mike’s power over me and view him as this timid little helpless person that I can take advantage of. Sure, he can call the police on me. Maybe the police will help me pack my boxes and move them on my one day off after working an 80 hour week. Maybe this little phantom douchebag nephew, "Tyler," will be forced to sleep in Jason’s room or on the couch. Maybe I own this entire house merely through sheer force of will. Sure, I can be a self-centered sociopath who has no fear of anyone and knows how weak and helpless they all are. All of that which inconveniences me is evil, and evil has no power. I’m reading a book that tells me so!

I actually benefit from temporarily thinking this way, because I have this enormous, exaggerated terror of inconveniencing Mike, imposing on him, taking advantage of him, or inconveniencing the douchebag phantom nephew Tyler. I am simultaneously exhausted and at the last remains of my physical and mental resources, and also petrified with terror of what will happen if I fail.

I will move a box or two into the garage. I will find the designated location in the garage.

I took a shower and was so exhausted after it I had to lie down. There might be toxic residues on the floor of the shower. It ought to be sprayed and scrubbed.

I am going to fail, because the thing I have to do requires more resources than I have. I cannot move out tonight, nor can I move boxes into the garage. Let’s pretend nobody else exists or has any needs or problems except me. Because, in reality, my problems really are worse than Mike’s. I can objectively compare them.

I’m gonna post this, walk down the steps, pick up a box, open the garage, and put it in. I’ll keep drinking Coke this whole time.

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