Archaic words

I sometimes find words in Spanish that are also English words, but are archaic, esoteric, or old. Like "coney" for rabbit is English, but we don’t call them that here. It was in "Lord of the Rings," when they ate rabbits with Smeagol. "Conejito" is little rabbit in Spanish. There are many words that are recognizable because they come from Latin, but we use them differently or less often. I understood Carlos when he was talking to someone else about how business that day was either "tranquil" or "loco," because tranquil means peaceful in English, but I have sinister associations with tranquilizers, and wouldn’t ever use the word "tranquil" much. "Tranquility" is not so bad, though. "Loco" is well known in English as "crazy." Some words have been popularized. We also say "ay-yi-yi" already, but kind of as a joke, and if we looked into its origins we’d see it more associated with Spanish. I already can say "ay-yi-yi" without feeling too unnatural, and already said it – maybe from Rachael, who had family members in Mexico.

The words I hear have no emotional associations, no lifelong memories of specific people saying them in specific situations. I am starting to hear the separations between words, partly with the help of the dictionary and grammar, but also naturally as my brain starts to understand that this little string of sounds has been used elsewhere separately.

I do react emotionally to the musical pitch of their voices. Sometimes, the musical melody of a phrase is identical to the musical melody of a phrase in English. I once said "What on earth?" in the same melody as "puta madre" is said, when I was surprised about something. I can tell from people’s faces and microexpressions how they are feeling. I do find Carlos the easiest to understand, and he is the LSE, in the same socionic quadra as me. Augustin has unpredictable changes in the music of his voice, and I can’t piece it together without knowing what they are saying. He is also like Brent, an SEE who I always loved at McDonalds. Arturo somehow magically understands and communicates emotion without language, and he is the ESI, whose strongest function is an ethics function that can understand how people feel.

I am now SO CURIOUS to encounter a dual who speaks no English at all. I recall another who I thought was LSE, formerly spoke Spanish, and spoke English almost perfectly without an accent – Rick, a former manager at McDonald’s who no longer works there. Rick DeLong is also fascinated with learning languages, so I’m thinking it might be hard to do this experiment, because maybe all Deltas love learning languages or something. Maybe I won’t find any who speak no English at all to see if I can recognize my dual purely from nonverbal cues alone. But I am so curious to know if I can.

But if I could easily find duals, or intuitives at all, we’d all be millionaires, because no sensors can ever find duals at their jobs. They say, people who go to college are the most likely to get married – statistics show. Maybe that’s because college brings sensors into the world of intuitives. We go to college and complain that everything is useless and abstract and has no connection to practical reality, because it is all meant for intuitives. I’m not saying intuitives are bad, but rather, they deal with ideas and aren’t concerned about applying them (it depends on socionic type how this manifests, though).

My jealousy. It’s weird. It’s totally instinctive, and I logically don’t agree with it. If other girls, like the waitresses, go around Augustin and are talking or doing anything, I cannot control my emotional response, which is to feel sort of saddened, let down, neglected, unimportant. But yet, intellectually, I want him to be happy and taken care of. If he did fall in love for real I should be happy, but I would feel jealous. The same was true with Jesse. He met Kaelin and was going to marry her. As soon as I found out about her and looked at her facebook page, I wrote all about what a worthless moron she was, only to gradually start liking her later on, right as they broke up. I still want Jesse to be happy, too.

The idea that "true love comes once in a lifetime" means that sensors are statistically, numerically more common than intuitives. All of us are lost and adrift without them. We can’t find them, and when we do, they are already taken. They become celebrities or professionals who get paid hundreds of dollars an hour. Not all the time, but it seems that way. For instance I might go to a psychologist to find an IEE – maybe – although other types become psychologists. A psychologist is, by default, a well paid professional who already found his wife, easily. They are not struggling to find their duals.

I’m griping.

I only know that I must somehow balance all the relationships in the kitchen. I love them all, although I have the strongest attraction to Augustin. I don’t like conflicts, competition, or jealousy. I don’t want anyone to feel neglected.

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