A simple arrow key! For the love of all that is good and holy!

I need a four direction arrow keypad navigation for the cursor. I try, and try, to place the insertion point at exactly the right spot on the screen. I am a petite female with small fingers and decent fine hand coordination, but I cannot move the fucking cursor to the right place. Give me arrow keys, like a plain old fashioned keyboard had, to go up, down, left, and right. I usually just give up and press "backspace" and delete an entire sentence to put the cursor in the right place.

Autocorrect leads to even more fixing of bizarre unpredictable errors. If, for instance, I type the first half of a long word correctly, but then accidentally hit the space bar, it thinks I’m finished with that word, it says "What the fuck is this?" and changes it to some random bizarre thing, even though it was fine up until I hit the space bar. I then have to go back and fix something that wasn’t broken. The internet already knows the horrors of autocorrect – you can find entire pages with funny examples. Funny or not funny, it makes it impossible to use.

I’m also having problems with this thing where I try to put the cursor on a word to fix it, but it ignores all my tapping on that word, so I either double-tap or tap and hold, by accident. So then it highlights the whole word, then puts a drop down box full of alternative suggestions, and this drop down box covers my keyboard and there is no escape. I can’t even do it deliberately when I try to double click and highlight a word. I don’t understand the conditions that cause it to happen, except maybe a misspelling.

Okay, it happens only with an error. But you need to understand this: I DON’T WANT suggestions and alternatives, which forces me to interrupt my flowing brain process and switch to a different, non-flowing brain process, to read a list of words, understand what they mean, and pick one. I want to fix it by hand. Passively receiving the meanings of a list of words is a non-flowing brain process, whereas actively "knitting" each letter, by hand, in detail, is a flowing comfortable brain process. It causes physical and mental tension, discomfort, and that feeling of painful tension in my stomach when I have to stop my flow, say "what the fuck is this goddamn box in my way," ignore the meaningless and irrelevant gibberish inside the box, and find a way to move the box using any means necessary. I don’t respond with, "Hey! Thanks for fixing that typo for me so I don’t have to waste time manually typing the letters myself!" I respond with "Get out of my fucking way so that I can fucking fix this myself."

This is designed for a Si-PoLR socionic type – either the EIE or LIE – whose desire is to avoid the details. Those types do not flow while doing the fine hand coordination like fixing manually the letters of a typo. They DO both have Ni, which means they love symbols and don’t mind switching over to passive reception of a word list on the screen as opposed to the focused finger process of typing.

This love of symbols is unnatural to me as a socionic SLI personality type. When I use gmail and I see that somebody invented an ingenious, clever, brand new symbol I’ve never seen before, a right-pointing triangle with a triangular line entering it from the left, I don’t happily press and hold the button to find out its clever, secret meaning, which will appear in a popup box only if I touch the button. What if by that’s "delete?" I already screwed up and lost pages of text without understanding what I did. What if I accidentally press the button for real while trying to press and hold it? Who even told me that it was possible to find out what a button does by pressing and holding?

It turns out that button is the "send" button, and I reluctantly concluded that it’s probably supposed to represent a paper airplane or something. How cute! How clever! I throw a paper airplane to send my email! It’s like a cute little gift, a surprise. What new symbol have they invented this time? Press and hold each button to uncover the little surprises and find out what they do.

You’re supposed to love these cutesy little inventions, but, SOCIONICS. In all caps. I passionately loathe everything about this entire design from start to finish, all the way down to its roots.

The voices in my head are screaming "forgive meeeeee!" which is even more annoying. Anyone who feels emotionally wounded by what I’m writing is free to simply not read my blog.

I have to go catch the bus. That doesn’t mean I’m finished ripping them new assholes. How do you say "rip someone a new asshole" in Guatemalan Spanish? I should write a book called "I Hate My Phone." No joke, it would sell. I’d collect anecdotes too.

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