Below the ‘normal crappy baseline’ for me

I had an absolutely horrible couple of days, and was much, much sicker than the ‘Normal Shitty Baseline,’ as they call it. I don’t know exactly what caused it. I don’t know if it was something I did, or something outside my control. I ate something weird yesterday and today. It was these sausages that I bought a while ago and had kept frozen.

There are two unusual things about them: first, they were made from feral swine, wild hogs. I have nothing against that in principle, but it’s just something I’ve never eaten before, and maybe my body reacted strangely to it. The other thing is, the sausages contained alcohol, some kind of sherry wine or something. I never eat any alcohol even in tiny quantities in my food. I actually was so sick when I woke up this morning I almost vomited, and it’s extremely abnormal for me to do that. I ate the leftover sausages again today and felt absolutely horrible again this evening. I literally felt like I was dying. I was lying in bed feeling as though my body was being suppressed, made to slow down and fade away. I was so sick I couldn’t even sit up in bed and use the internet.

I don’t want anyone to tell me that all the alcohol evaporates when food is cooked. This is not true. Every substances leaves a small amount of residue, even if it’s a volatile substance that evaporates easily at low temperatures. It’s all mixed in the food. It takes time to evaporate – would you claim that 100% of it evaporates instantly in the first second of time? No? Then exactly how long does it take until every last molecule has evaporated? I know from experience that if I eat even the tiniest couple molecules of alcohol, even in places where they claim there would be nothing left, I get sick from it. My theory for why processed white sugar made me so sick (feeling like I was going to pass out when I stood up – orthostatic hypotension) was because it was made with isopropyl alcohol in the refinement process. I never have any problems with any sugar at all unless it is refined white sugar. I can eat endless tons of less processed organic brown sugar or turbinado sugar.

I’m still sick right now. I also took some ibuprofen yesterday and today, which is, again, a very unusual thing for me to do if I am not menstruating. I’m only trying it experimentally to see if it helps me at all, but it makes my stomach so deathly ill for hours, and it probably contributed to my sickness today.

The sickness is putting me into an extremely unpleasant, extremely negative mood. I got absolutely nothing done today, and I had a couple things that needed to be done. I can’t return a phone call, and somebody left me a voice mail, probably one of the career counselors, and I can’t even listen to my voice mail because I used up every single minute on that phone, unexpectedly. I do have another phone, but it’s impossible to hear on that phone. So I was going to get another tracfone card but, like I said, I was so sick I couldn’t even sit up in bed to use the internet.

I think I might just forgive myself for having an absolutely horrible worse-than-usual couple of days, and just watch a movie or something tonight, and hope tomorrow I’ll feel well enough to do something small at least.

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