Work takes away life

1:44 PM 12/4/2014

I don’t have a lot of time to write this. I still have to do a couple things before I go to work today. This is the second day that I’m working at Carnegie House, my temp job. I’m a dishwasher. I didn’t know what to expect. I’ve never eaten there. It’s one of those fancy restaurants where you order a meal that has several courses and you stay there for a long time slowly eating your meal and drinking wine. It’s expensive. The food is beautiful.

I was expecting the worst, in terms of personalities. I was expecting another TB (the way it was in the beginning – they sort of mellowed out a bit after a while when I was there – after we got a new store manager, all the employees stopped caring about following the rules so strictly). I was expecting to meet people who were unreasonable, stupid, narrow-minded, mean, judgmental, annoying, and boring, because that is how I perceive the masses of people in general, and I feel as though my chances of meeting that type of person are much greater than my chances of meeting cool people who I like.

However, so far I like most of the people I met. I only worked yesterday, so I don’t know.

By the way, for a while now I’ve just been ignoring my typos and leaving them in, because it’s a pain to open up my WordPress dashboard to edit my posts and fix the typos. I won’t go into detail – basically, it’s very slow and it malfunctions. That’s making a long story short. I always send my posts by email so that I don’t have to bother with wordpress at all. All that they need, for the love of God, is a simple, basic TEXT ENTRY BOX – but no! They have to be fancy! A simple text entry box would not do for a corporation as big and respectable as WordPress!

And when I send the email, I send it from my gmail address, which is set up to show the ‘plain HTML’ view of the email, because I hate fancy email screens too. I hate yahoo – I have it set on the ‘classic’ view, but that’s still horrible, and that is why I use yahoo as my spam address and my semi-spams, the emails from people who I have actually requested emails from, but which tend to clutter, such as emails from forums I’ve joined, newsletters, and things like that.

Anyway, Jesse got a job at Domino’s and told me about it, on the very same day that Adecco called me and told me I had a job. He wanted me to work with him, but I won’t be able to fit that around this job very well, unless I can work really short shifts.

Something I like about this job: I’m going to be near Wegman’s a lot, so I will tend to go there more often. Usually, I never get a chance to go to Wegman’s. But I have to ride the bus every day and I’ll be there on that side of town. I’m getting on the bus that goes past Wegman’s when I go home in the evening, because the Toftrees (HP) bus doesn’t run that late at night.

I also like it that I might get really good food there. It’s not like working at McD or TB, where you get to eat fast food while you’re working. I didn’t like TB’s food much at all, but ate it when I was desperate. This Carnegie House food is really fancy expensive high-quality stuff. Last night I was doing dishes, and I was tempted to eat something off somebody’s plate. I was really tempted, but I didn’t do it. Somebody had gotten that Brie/Camembert cheese and had actually not eaten it all. It’s that soft cheese with a firm rind around the outside. The rind is edible on the kind that we have here, although in other places the rind is made differently and supposedly isn’t edible. But I love that type of cheese. If I were eating at a fancy restaurant and had a plate of Camembert and couldn’t eat it all, I’d be stuffing it into my purse and taking it home.

People also did not eat the arugula underneath their hors d’oeuvres. Come on, people, don’t waste all that arugula! Maybe it only seems like a little bit of arugula on YOUR hors d’oeuvre, but when an entire group of twenty people doesn’t eat the arugula, it’s a lot. It’s all being thrown away. Arugula is edible and it’s good for you! Eat your arugula! I’m one of those people who eats the parsley garnish put next to my meal at places like Denny’s or wherever, even if it’s at breakfast.

I wanted to take a screenshot of something funny my practice video game did, but it’s too hard to do and I don’t have enough time. If I didn’t have a job, I could fool around with it all day and research it until I got it to work, but I’m doing it in the couple hours before work, and right now I have to get ready – I’m already pushing it. I haven’t gotten the time figured out yet – at exactly what time do I have to be ready and leave to catch the bus?

I was trying to understand how the physics works in the game. I had made my little girl fall with gravity, and I tried to put blocks underneath her to catch her fall. I made the blocks invisible, because I was going to have her walking around on the grass on top of invisible blocks. The grass was just painted in the background.

But no matter what I did, she just fell out the bottom of the screen. Earlier, I had surrounded the entire screen with invisible blocks because I was testing things like making her bounce off the top of the screen, making gravity pull you up instead of down, and that kind of thing. So the entire room was surrounded by a box, but yet, no matter what I did, she fell through the blocks at the bottom that she was supposed to be able to stand on.

I did everything I could, I changed all these settings, I tested it over and over, and went crazy trying to understand why she was going through the blocks as though they were not there. She just fell right through them, like a ghost.

Finally, for whatever reason, I gave the blocks a color so that I could see them, and then I ran the game. I had been running it with the blocks invisible all that time. When I saw it, I laughed out loud and understood exactly what had been happening. When the game started, the girl started falling, and all the blocks, the entire box around the whole room, started slowly falling at the same time. Everything fell at once. The boxes did not stay floating in space for her to land on – they were falling too. I had no idea that was happening. I had just put the wrong setting somewhere on the blocks that made them do that. But at least now I understand what was happening so I can fix it.

It was just so funny I really wanted to take a screenshot, but I won’t have time to fool with it right now. I hate working at a job. I hate having no free time. I hate being anxious and hurried in the hours before work. And now I have to find Max, and take a shower, and then get all my clothes together and get money for the bus. I don’t have time for anything. And I woke up tired because I rode my bike more than usual yesterday. I bought caffeine again, just the instant coffee, but it’s not working – it hardly has any effect at all, except to reduce the withdrawal symptoms from the previous day’s coffee, which also had hardly any effect at all.

When I do drink coffee that is strong enough to actually work, it destroys my teeth. I had just gotten a couple bottles of Starbucks iced coffee recently, and had also been drinking Coke, and I damaged my broken back tooth enough that a little bit more of it crumbled yesterday. That tooth doesn’t hurt at all – you’d think it would hurt, because we’ve all been brainwashed to believe that cavities and broken teeth must hurt, but they don’t hurt at all if you aren’t eating specific foods. Cavities don’t hurt! If you eat only a few specific foods, they will hurt like crazy. They will be unbearably painful. But if you are eating even a moderately healthy diet, even if you keep drinking coffee and drink Coke like I do, the cavities don’t have any pain at all. When you see someone with cavities you think, ‘Gosh, you must be in CONSTANT AGONIZING PAIN!’ But it has no feeling. And the tooth root is in no danger. The tooth root regrows an outer layer of bone, although it cannot completely regrow an entire tooth.

I have to go now, or I’m gonna be late. 😦 I need a better work-life balance. And poor Jesse said he was too tired to study the ASVAB the other day because he had just come home from work. That’s a bad sign. Work makes you unable to do any long-term goals, because all you can do is the short-term goal of dragging yourself to work every day, and paying the rent, and barely scraping by, living paycheck to paycheck. You have no time to study anything. If you don’t want to go in debt, there is no way to improve your life. You can go to college and live in the dorm, but go $200,000 in debt. You cannot go to college, and also work and pay the rent and live in an apartment.

I have to go! I’m gonna be late.

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