new power cord is loose, but works

1:16 PM 7/31/2014

Okay, I did get a new power cord when I was in town. I went to get mom and dad’s check that they sent me in the mail. Now I have extra money so that I can get a new apartment – usually, they want the first month’s rent, the last month’s rent, and a security deposit, or at least some places want that, and it’s a huge amount of money.

I got a universal power cord. It kind of fits, but it’s a fraction of a millimeter too small. I tried several of the adapters, and none of them fit perfectly. If it wiggles even the slightest bit, it stops charging. The worst thing you can do to a battery is plug it into a ‘flickering’ power source that’s constantly disconnecting and reconnecting. This will destroy a battery quickly. I did that to one of my phones once. I plugged it into a loose plug outlet where the plug was constantly halfway in, halfway out, and it would charge for a fraction of a second, then disconnect, then reconnect. The battery was wiped out and I had to buy a new one.

This is a flaw in the design of rechargeable batteries. My dad actually told me about this decades ago. The battery sort of ‘remembers’ where it was charged to, and if it starts to discharge, to use up the battery, then recharges again, it somehow changes the amount of space available for charging in the battery, so that it gets smaller and smaller. You should fully discharge the battery, and fully charge it up again. In reality, batteries aren’t quite that bad now, like this battery in the netbook – it still works fine even though I’ve always discharged it partway and then charged it again without worrying about it. But I have a feeling that rapid
‘flickering’ might kill it.

This charger will do for now. I probably broke the other one just by pulling it too hard whenever I had the netbook stuck underneath some stuff.

I wasn’t able to give my bike away. I would give it to the bike shop. I’ve done that before. But I wasn’t ready. I’ll be lost without a bike and will have to be ready to get a new one immediately. I’m fine as long as I’m at this hotel, since I’m right next to where I work, but anywhere else, I’ll be lost.

I’m sick today and having diarrhea. I have to go to work this afternoon. Every time I work, it takes time away from doing my projects. I have to finish sorting through my stuff and doing the decon so that I can move into a new place. I’ll probably sublet again, maybe, if that’s all that’s available. As soon as my work days are done, I’ll get totally focused on this again.

I’ve been having problems with my moods, my energy, my fatigue, my sickness, and other things distracting me, demoralizing me, and preventing me from finishing. I was demoralized by not being able to remove the bike pedal, but I had to sleep on it for a couple days and then I was able to decide to just get rid of the bike, like I did before, and get a new one.

Having problems with my moods and my fatigue and my morale is the only thing keeping me from finishing this quickly. There is hardly anything to do. I only have a few bags to look through and decide what I want to keep and what I want to get rid of. It’s the easiest decon I’ve ever done, because I have hardly any belongings left, and they are only very mildly contaminated, as in, if I mess up the decon, it will be no big deal.

I just try to sort through stuff and then something or other will distract me or demoralize me and I won’t want to do anything more and I’ll have to take a break. Yesterday it was the thunderstorm. I was distracted because it was so close and so terrifying and I felt like this motel was going to get struck by lightning. I was terrified and I was walking around the hotel, trying to find a place where I felt safer somehow, and we don’t have an underground basement that I could go into, unless I wanted to go find that maintenance stairwell or whatever I think I saw one time.

I also got demoralized because I’m sick with diarrhea and just overall didn’t feel well yesterday, so I only did a little work, sorting through two bags of papers and stuff, and throwing them away. I found a couple sentimental items, things that reminded me of Jesse. I found the little sticker with a wire through it that you hook on the zipper of your coat when you go skiing. That day that I went skiing, that was a significant day for me and Jesse. He called me on the phone after I went skiing. He didn’t go with me, but I had invited him. Afterwards, I think that’s the night when I went to the laundromat in town. I was still homeless, so I hung out at places like the laundromat. He met me there. His grandmother was dying, at the time. He got drunk. We spent a few hours together outside of work, for the first time. We had only just worked together a couple of days, and then I gave him my number, found him on facebook, and started stalking him and bugging him to meet me, and eventually he finally did, but only after a great struggle. That night when he met me at the laundromat was wonderful, the most wonderful thing I could imagine, being with him, kissing him. So I wanted to keep that little sticker from skiing, and that was in one of the bags I sorted through.

He called and we’re talking again. I really, really, really, really don’t want to make any mistakes that will make him angry at me again. The one day last week or whenever, he wasn’t feeling well, and we had been about to get together, and then he said he couldn’t be there because of being sick, and then suddenly Steve showed up at my door and took me to the powwow (not ‘pawpaw’ as I accidentally called it, although the pawpaws are getting ripe – the last time I went up Mt. Nittany, I visited the pawpaw trees at the neighbors’ house, and the fruits were ripening). I stayed at the powwow all day long, and didn’t expect to be there so long, and when I came home, Jesse was mad at me. He visited me, but he had been having angry thoughts all day, and I didn’t mean to do that. I was surprised when Steve showed up at the door, and had actually thought it was Jesse knocking. I don’t want to do that again, but Steve is being controlled as a puppet, and he gets those urges to do those things. And I am stupid and can’t say no.

But… Jesse is talking to me again. I hope so much that I can hurry up and get this decon done and move into a new place. Or, at least, start camping again temporarily if I have to. Whatever, just get out of here quickly. I will succeed, it’s just taking several days longer than I like, which means more money is spent at this hotel. I will succeed. I will do it. I’ve done it before. I know I will.

2 Responses to “new power cord is loose, but works”

  1. Anonymous Says:

    I will succeed. I will do it. I’ve done it before. I know I will.

    I will succeed. I will do it. I’ve done it before. I know I will.

    I will succeed. I will do it. I’ve done it before. I know I will.

    Say it three times fast!


  2. Anonymous Says:

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